Hey Cameron! I'm so glad you found the lecture helpful
The first thing I need to address; don't feel too put off by the exemplar paragraphs! They were written towards the end of my HSC journey (maybe around Trials?), so of course my ability to write in a sophisticated way was definitely developed over time, and you'll develop those skills too.
As Katie mentioned, PEEL/PETAL are two great acronyms to keep in mind when analysing, but to elevate your sophistication and ensure you're packing all your amazing ideas in, you can think of you paragraphs as made up of 'PEEL sentences'. Each piece of analysis (one to two sentences, four-ish in a paragraph) should contain a point, example, evidence, explanation and a link to audience understanding.
The colourful breakdowns of analysis I included towards the beginning of the lecture should hopefully demonstrate this - you can use the smaller version to start off, and when you're more confident, start to include elements of context, purpose or audience impact
So, at a base level, each piece of analysis should incorporate this:
UNIQUE IDEA (THAT ADDS TO THE PARAGRAPH THEME) -->
QUOTE WITH
TECHNIQUE --> THE
EFFECT OF THE TECHNIQUE -->
WHAT THE AUDIENCE UNDERSTANDS AS A RESULT OF THIS Some examples of incorporating these elements, and not going any further;
- The poem challenges the singularity of cultural experiences (1) through its use of repeated mundane rhetorical questions (3), such as “where do you live?” (2), which seemingly mirror an application process (4), the sinister ‘responses’ describing death and destruction thus highlighting the way different lived experiences impacts interpretation (5).
- Yeats exposes the intense societal degradation in the wake of conflict (1) through “the ceremony of innocence is drowned” (2), which employs a discordant religious allusion to the sacrament of Baptism, suggesting that even traditional purifying rituals (4) have no power, and indeed, cannot exist in his current world order (5).
Hopefully this helps clarify things a bit! A slight exception to the rule in Year 12 might be Module A, in which successful essays will really need to push context and the comparative aspect of things, but, as I mentioned in the lecture, you have to start with your foundation first, and then add all the pizzazz on!
Please let me know if I can explain anything further or if you have any more questions