whys' VCE journal

[J_Rho]

Hey whys,

I hope you're doing better, and there is no need to apologise for expressing how you feel, and can honestly relate to feeling unable to succeed and being burdened by failure -  and in time you will flourish and look back on moments like these and realise they helped you grow. also, your writing is absolutely mesmerising. 💕

[ArtyDreams]

The writing is so pretty and lovely to read whys - take care of yourself, its totally okay to rant here! We are here to support you 

I'm sure whatever you're feeling will pass, you've got this 

Sending lots of good vibes your way, hope you have a lovely day 

[whys]

To Chocolatemilkshake, Evolio, ashmi, J_Rho and ArtyDreams - thank you so much for the overwhelmingly positive support not only now, but regarding previous journal entries too. I really, really appreciate it ❤️

I feel better now, thanks to all having an anonymous outlet to express myself, as well as you guys. Thank you for taking the time to not only read, but also type up a response. I hope I can reflect upon my experiences and pick myself up, as we all should when we feel like we're in the dumps.

[whys]

Hi folks!

I have an English sac on Wednesday, which is a text response. "I am scared" is a severe understatement...
Why does English have to be in our top 4 again?

I have a bio sac in the last week of term, but the subject is pretty chill and it's a while away. Meanwhile, English is neither of those things. My teacher gives horrible feedback and argh I could vent about my teacher for ages (but I'm not going to).

Also, methods is really chill. I'm so glad the chem sac is over because now I'm not going to focus on chem until next term (hello bottom 2!). I don't want to come back to English but I'm very stressed about it because how am I supposed to know if what I'm writing is good or bad or 3/10 level or 10/10 level with horrible feedback and NO feedback. I submitted an essay on wednesday and still haven't gotten feedback on it, and monday is a public holiday so what am I going to do if my teacher gives me my feedback on tuesday, the day before the sac?! (even though this is unlikely and when prompted my teacher will probably be like oh! I left your essay at home sorry! because she probably didn't mark it. my other friends in my class have this same problem.) Other teachers give feedback on essays the next lesson, which is usually a day. Wow, am I unlucky.

I'm going to try focus on improving as much as I can in this short timespan and try to memorise lots of quotes and write practice body paras even though I have no idea what I'm doing and if I'm doing it correctly. I gotta be positive! I got the teacher I have and I'm going to accept it and move on and try do the best I can. That's all I can do. I just hope I'm not disappointed in the end.

I'll probably update this after the English sac (in tears of joy or sadness, let's see).

[Geoo]

Hey, I feel you! I had a mini meltdown over my english SAC that is also next week, so I will join you in the sacred club.
Have you thought about publishing some of your essay on the forum?

It will be over soon, so I wish you luck, i'm sure you will do fine! Enjoy the long weekend.

[J_Rho]

I have an English SAC coming up also, which I am terrified for and I totally understand how you are feeling! I wish you the best of luck, I'm sure you will do great

I also know how teachers can be with being a little bit lazy in helping the students who are doing 'the extra 5%' and I know there are so many people on these forums that would be willing to look over and give feedback on your essays, body paragraphs etc. which i definitely think you should consider doing in the future cause 2 pairs of eyes are better than one!

Hang in there, and we are always here fo you

[ashmi]

Hey whys!

I totally feel for you on a spiritual level (same boat bro). You can do it!!
If you need someone to read your essays, I'm sure people on the forums will be able to help out. (Send me your essays/essay-plans and I can help you out if need be! Happy to give feedback too).

Make sure you rest up this weekend and come into the SAC with a fresh mind. You will be fine, and I'm sure you will do amazing! Keep up the amazing work, we are all in this together with you.

[whys]

Thanks guys!
 
I'll definitely consider posting some work up later on!
Let's all consider having mental breakdowns over our upcoming sacs and rejoice when they are over! But, in all seriousness, I'm sure we'll all do well, and if not, there is always time to improve before the exam.
For now, I think I'll head to the kitchen and binge-eat to make myself feel better. (It works for real )

Hope you guys have enjoyed your long weekend so far. Term 1 holidays aren't far off too - can't wait for the break. I'll try update this after the english sac so I can talk about how (horribly?) I went.

[Evolio]

Haha, yes! I've been eating way too much chocolate in the past days. Oops.  Oh well...

I'm sure you'll do fantastic for your English SAC! Both our SACs are on the Wednesday, lol. Can't wait to see how you went! 

[ashmi]

whys, you are speaking my language👏

It's that time of year that we need to indulge in a whole binge-eating food spree!
Good luck on your English SAC whys! (And also Evolio good luck on your Lit SAC!)

We can all party once it's done and dusted

[ArtyDreams]

I'm here and joining the English SAC on Wednesday club 

Good luck whys!! I'm sure you'll do great!
I can literally imagine all us maths/science kids after the English Exam, being so relieved lol. We can literally have a MASSIVE binge eat then.

Have a good week!

[whys]

English SAC
Where do I start... I felt at least somewhat prepared to write this. I thought I’d be able to pull off at least 25/30. As soon as I saw the prompts, my brain froze. It was like I’d never read and analysed the text - like I never put any effort. That’s exactly what my essay was like. I forgot everything - I forgot quotes, I forgot to include metalanguage, my introduction was horrible, I wrote the shortest body paragraphs I’ve ever written in an essay ever. I also did the dumbest thing ever. I picked the harder prompt that I had no idea about instead of the other one that I knew I could write well on. My essay wasn’t even relevant to the prompt I chose, and it wasn’t coherent at all. Even the practise essays I wrote were 10x better than this one. I genuinely went in feeling hopeful. I picked the wrong prompt I knew nothing about, and I think I’m going to fail. I think I’m going to fail my first English SAC. I tried so hard for nothing. I could feel the tears of frustration as I crossed out line after line; trying to come up with ideas I knew I had but couldn’t remember. I could feel tears when I was walking to the bus stop from school. All I wanted to do was sit in a corner and cry. Any time I try to vent, I am shut down. Apparently I’m good at English. Apparently I don’t have the right to complain because once upon a time a very lenient marker gave me good marks for my essays. Today I lived up to no ones expectations. Today, I failed my first ever SAC. I realise now that I am doomed for a 40+. I have sabotaged my atar with this one stupid essay. When in the workforce will I ever be asked to analyse stupid Shakespeare and write a verbose response to a stupid prompt that makes no sense in one hour? Maybe an English teacher needs those skills. Maybe those people with literature PhD’s need those skills. Just because I fail a stupid text response essay doesn’t mean I can’t write a good report, or communicate well. I can. I just can’t do VCE English. The system is so unfair to maths and science students who would get amazing ATARs if English could just be a bottom 2 subject.

It hurts to think that because I messed up this one SAC, I have no chance at a 40+ unless I miraculously full mark all the other sacs (not happening). I guess I should just say goodbye to that 99 ATAR and try for some other achievable course that needs a lower ATAR than the most competitive course (or one of the most competitive courses). I finally understand the work that goes into a 99 ATAR. I understand how much of a genius you have to be. Because it’s not easy. Its very very hard and is not achievable. I don’t understand. How can they expect me to write some godly essay when my teacher sucks and I’ve never been taught English properly at all my whole life? I want to change this. But I can’t. My SAC score is fixed, and it’s established that I’m bad at English forever. I hate this. I hate English.

[Geoo]

Hey look, I know this is cliche, but everything will work out. Yeah it sucks that this has happen, but you still have the entire year to make for it. I still think you will do fine, and keep in mind that one bad SAC score won't screw up everything, there are still two other SACs left for english this unit.

Honestly go celebrate that it is over, it is done now and out of the way. Take the rest of the day off, watch a movie, go for a walk, do something you enjoy, and put it behind you. And yes, it is terrible how VCAA can do this to science based students, but unfortunately we don't have much control over that. Accept this as a lost, and try better for the next one. Just remember that this year is probably the last time you will do english, so keep that in mind.

Congratulations on completing your SAC, you should be proud of yourself!

[Chocolatemilkshake]

Hey whys,
Just wanted to say that you totally have the right to vent and I know how much it sucks to come out of a sac feeling that all your hard work was for nothing. It's hard now but we all know you won't give up and of course, you can still hit that 99 atar  I know you already know, but it's worth just a small tiny amount of the entire study score. Have some relaxing time and don't beat yourself up too much.

That probably doesn't help in the slightest, but remember how hard last year's subjects were (aka psych) and you did incredible anyway 

Spoiler

(plus you never know until you get it back)

All the best for the last two weeks,
CM

[Evolio]

Hey there whys.
Yeah, I agree with everyone above.

I know that whatever I say may not help, but I'll try anyway. Your goal of a 40+ study score is not gone! It's only one SAC and it's only March and you still have time to improve for your next SACs. Also, the 99 ATAR goal is not ruined! Just because you think you did bad in this SAC, it DOES NOT mean you've failed in that goal! By the way, you've set yourself up really well for getting that 99 ATAR, that is your excellent and amazing Psychology score, so don't even worry about it! And you still have your other subjects to make up for English if it does get really bad later on.

It's normal to feel how you're feeling and yeah, I totally get what you mean with English with it being in our top 4. It also probably won't be useful at all in our life but VCAA has made it compulsory to study and we can't really change and control VCAA and their systems, so it's way better to try do our best even if we passionately hate the subject. Also, about the teacher thing, you should try approach other teachers and they can mark your essay. This way you'll be getting constructive feedback.

It really sucks when we do all the hard work and we come into the SAC and everything just goes wrong but that's just how life is (as cliche as that sounds) and as we go through these painful experiences, we will get stronger and become more persistent and this will ultimately help us achieve what we want! AKA that 40+ English study score.
Nothing is ruined so keep your chin up and look to the sky because anything's possible if you really want to achieve something. No matter how EXTREMELY TERRIFYINGLY hard it is. 

Also, congratulations on completing your first English SAC!