Lady Windermere's Fan and A Good Woman Comparitive Essay

[brendon_504]

Could you please give me feedback on the following introduction and first paragraph (can't be bothered typing out the rest). Please be as critical as you possibly can

[INTRODUCTION]
‘Lady Windermere’s Fan’ is a play written by Oscar Wilde and first published in 1892. There have been numerous alterations of this classic, one of which is a 2002 movie directed by Mike Barker, ‘A Good Woman’. In this adaptation, most of the plot was kept the same with slight changes, but the timeline, setting, structure and the genre of the film was changed drastically in comparison to Wilde’s text.

[P1]
Don't comment on the set out of the first three lines, as this was an expectation of the teacher :>
The timeline of a text is defined as the period of time that the text runs over.
The play ‘Lady Windermere’s Fan’ runs over a 24 hour period.
Barker’s ‘A Good Woman’ was set over numerous weeks.
Oscar Wilde has chosen this timeline to suit the storyline and help convey his intended point. Plays are made to transmit a message to the viewer on morality and question their own morals. In this play, his message was that you should not be judgemental and that simple actions can alter your status and others, in terms of reputation, which was highly valued at the time. The audience revelled in this as the upper class viewers liked to view themselves as vulnerable and the lower class viewers loved how it displayed a rich upper class person being reduced to nothing in a matter of hours. The play demonstrates this as the actions of one character causes problems with others.
However, in ‘A Good Woman’, the plot is set out over a number of weeks. Barker has made this change to provide further background information and meet the viewer’s expectations of a movie. This was done by making aspects much more obvious and having events at regular intervals to keep the viewer engaged. These things need to be done in a movie as we have been conditioned from a young age to expect this. Another thing that was changed to suit the audience was the setting.

[charmanderp]

The introduction has to go! This isn't English, we don't want to hear about the text! We want to hear about the ideas within the text, so don't write about who made the film or wrote the novel or when it was published, or any other historical context. Get straight into your analysis by way of introducing the thematic concerns most central to your argument.

Something like (don't take my word for it): 'Mike Barker's adaptation of 'Lady Windmere's Fan' maintains, for the most part, the plot derived of Oscar Wilde's play, yet through a drastic alteration of temporal structure and setting, in reconstructing the genre of the film, still establishes a text in stark contrast to the playwright's original work.'

And then introduce your main points.

I'll look at the paragraph tomorrow, but I hope this gives you an idea of the formatting that is needed in this subject.

[meganrobyn]

What was the prompt? It may be a comparative text analysis, but the comparison is only being done in order to shed light on a particular idea or argument - it's not a comparison simply for the sake of finding similarities and differences.

You seem to have good control over expression - it flows nicely, word choice is good, the meaning is clear, etc - but at the moment it seems to be comparing only for the sake of comparing, rather than playing the two texts against each other in order to show how they (individually and as an interplay) inform/reflect a broader thematic etc concern.

You need to know what your prompt is, formulate a strong contention in response to that prompt, and then *use* the two texts as vehicles for arguing/analysing that contention.

[anita_28]

I really enjoyed reading your essay so far, could you please put the rest of the essay up on the website.
You have covered important points so far with the use of good vocab, i would really like to see how you wrote the rest of the essay,