Hey. I just wanted to do an update.
Lately, I really have not been feeling it. As soon as I go to sleep, I tell myself 'you're going to be so productive tomorrow. It's going to be a good study day'. But so far, that hasn't happened. As soon as I wake up, studying is so unappealing to me. So, throughout the day, I just sit at my desk doing random stuff,
procrastinating, trying to avoid studying. In fact, I'm doing that right now, but I need to write this down so I'm aware of it. I think I'm using this *situation* as an excuse not to study, when I shouldn't. I should be more productive now, since I have so much time. I should be as productive as I was on the holidays. Right now, all I feel is emptiness, no emotion and numbness. I don't really care about anything right now. Nothing seems worth caring about. All the days are blurring into one, into nothingness. I don't feel awake and ready to learn any of my subjects, I just want to sit and do nothing, so I do. This has been going on for 2 weeks or so. No study. At all. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. I really hope I can get out of this slump soon. I don't know why it's making me like this. But, it hurts. It hurts so bad knowing that it's already halfway through the year and I'm not doing anything to achieve my goals. I'm going backwards, not forwards. Everything seems so bleak.
Anyways, that's basically my mind right now. I hope that writing this is a wake up call for me to go and do some work. To stay off AN, Gmail, Facebook and every other website that's distracting me.
LiteraturePlot twist: I actually got 38/40. My heart was beating so fast when I heard this. I smiled so big and it was the greatest achievement ever. Literature is the subject that's most appealing to me now, probably because of that score. Our next SAC is creative which I'm super excited for. I've always been stronger at creative writing. We have like 4 weeks to write it so it's really chill and I'm just looking forward to going to class, without stressing about a SAC. I also need to read 'A Room of One's Own', which I thought would be boring but it's pretty interesting since it's sort of a stream of consciousness (well, my opinion anyway).
PsychologyHaven't done anything. I'm finding it really hard to memorise the areas of the brain that are responsible for the different types of LTM memories. It's not clicking. It's going very badly. I have my SAC in 19 days and it's a 10 marker. When we get back to school, we'll be doing the second part of the SAC. I need to start spamming 10 markers and asking my teacher to mark them but she's already given us 2 10-markers which is great. Oh, also I got my Research Methods- Stress 10-marker back and I got 5/10, which was absolutely devastating lol. I mean, it was my first one, and looking at her feedback, I can't believe I missed so many things. She said it was pleasing for a first attempt but I was like nope. Also, apparently the SAC average for the last SAC was 65% which I'm really surprised with, but that made me feel better because I thought everyone got in the 90s because it wasn't that hard. It was pretty easy, in my opinion. Just time-limited.
ChemistryNo work for this either.
SpecialistNo work for this either. I haven't even gone through the quiz we did like 2 weeks ago. I've done the least work for this subject.
UCATI thought it was going good. But, it's going bad. Very bad. I did 2 mini-mocks recently (finally) and it was so bad. It was like I hadn't even done any preparation for it (when I had). I've really got to work hard if I want anything even in the 90s.
St JohnWe had a meeting this week and we looked at Patient Assessment which was basically revision. We've gone through it so many times but it was good to go over everything because it's really important. Also, we played this hospital simulation game thingy and it was super cool!! You needed to assess the patient in ICU and there was all this medical jargon which made it even more fascinating!
Okay, that's it. I'm going to go now and read a book and hopefully get my study sanity back.