HSC round #2 (yes, alas I am repeating year 12)

[twelftholmes]

Yes you red the title correctly 

At this point in time I endeavour to repeat the HSC year willingly. Am I crazy? Perhaps. Driven to to better? For sure.
A little unhinged?? Definitely.
But I honestly think this is the best thing for me.

There are a lot of unknowns at the moment, like for example when I will start and how everything will work. But I'm determined to make it work because it's the best way to get where I want to be,, it'll just take a little longer.

I thought I'd start it off in the middle of my current HSC exams which is I'll admit... a little strange. But as of today I've completed English, Ancient History and Math, and tomorrow I'll do Extension 1 Maths and then after that Business Studies and Physics. Next year I would drop Extension 1 Maths and focus on 2unit, as this year has taught me that even though I do legitimately enjoy 3unit and would be capable of it with hard work, my time management essentially sucks so I have to drop it.

This journal might help others who feel like repeating is the best thing for them, as it is admittedly rare but you'll know you're not alone. Also I guess it'd be an interesting read for others just wanting to know what it's like. Maybe you'll see me succumb to pressures again and I'll burn out halfway through like a lot of people have been warning me, or maybe I'll succeed and get a much better ATAR then I know I'm going to get this year. Who knows? But I'm not giving up on it and I'm gonna give it my best shot!

I found out that there are no issues with timetabling or clashes with the current year below me so I would be okay to do the same subjects. These are:
- Advanced English
- Mathematics
- Physics
- Ancient History
- Business Studies

I'm going to put a quote that may seem incredibly out of place and I apologize for the "cringe" but at the moment, it encompasses why I'm doing what I'm doing: a little illusioned sure, but better that than losing sight of where I want to be.

"Je vois que beaucoup de gens meurent parce qu'ils estiment que la vie ne vaut pas la peine d'être vécue, et j'en vois d'autres qui se font paradoxalement tuer pour les idées, les illusions qui leur donnent une raison de vivre. Ce qu'on appelle une raison de vivre et en même temps une excellente raison de mourir"

"I see a lot of people die because they don't believe that life is worth living, and I see others who paradoxically get killed for the ideas, the illusions that gave them a reason to live. What we call a reason to live is also an excellent reason to die."

Achilles, Come Down - Gang Of Youth

[Bri MT]

Hey

Love the idea of starting this journal in the middle of your current exams to then lead into next year. I'm sure there'll be a lot you learn from this & it'll probably be great to be able to look back on that. I definitely don't think you'll be alone in repeating and agree that seeing this is likely to help others thinking about making the same decision.

Keen to see how it all works out for you!

Also - great song. I've never read the translation of that bit before so it's cool to see it here. It's a nice connection of the two "voices"

[twelftholmes]

Thanks so much!! That's the main thing I'm looking forward to actually, learning from it.

Also it makes me super happy you appreciate that part from the song. I only found the song a few days and read the translation in the comments of the YouTube video, but it stuck with me immediately even though it wouldn't be apparent to a lot of people as to why.

[K888]

What an interesting journal! Looking forward to your updates.

You've stated you want to achieve a higher ATAR, but what were the factors for you to decide to repeat? I'll admit I very much sit in the camp of "why repeat when there are alternate pathways in higher education and such" haha, but I'm very interested to hear your perspective!