Hey, I've just received my results from my creative writing (exam conditions), and I think my score is really low. The module is Discovery, and we had to incorporate an unseen text - which was Central Park in N.Y, the picture was in autumn (red and orange leaves).
I received 9/15 (C+), which is pretty bad considering I spent weeks writing it. If you could please help me out, that would be great. 
Hey Kaan! Thanks heaps for posting your essay! We have a policy where, to get proper feedback from a marker, you need
15 posts on ATAR Notes for every essay/creative you'd like marked. This is just to make sure that the markers can keep up with the service
That said, you are really close to 15 posts. Post a few times tonight and I'll happily provide give this a proper mark! When you meet the criteria, you can
post your creative here! That's our marking thread
I have given this a quick read though - If you were given the stimulus as Central Park, I think it needs to be incorporated more meaningfully. Just having it as a backdrop in the distance isn't quite enough (usually, depending on the question). That would be my main comment of the Creative in terms of responding to that exam at that time - The stimulus incorporation isn't quite there.
On a more general sense though, I'd say that the Discovery concept feels a little forced, a little "told" instead of "shown." For example, you tell us that the father ruined the protagonists childhood, but that's just told to us. It would be far more effective to have a flashback to a scene in childhood that
shows this to the audience. Further, the letter coming at the end is a little like, "Yep, the boss is his brother, that's the Discovery." It's a little blatant and could be handled a little more subtly to possibly enhance its complexity.
Just a few thoughts on a quick read - I'd be very happy to go through and give some more detailed comments once you hit that 15 post threshold! I hope these ideas help regardless
Home
Help
Search
Login
