Ok guys, I need help structuring my bodies (ik its year 12 i should already be good at this shit, but I think what I've learnt in year 11 isn't effective in year 12) -- I structure my bodies as: T.s - evidence 1 - explain evidence 1 - relate evidence 1 to argument. Then, evidence 2 - explain evidence 2 - relate evidence 2 to argument - link evidence 1 and 2 to the argument - link evidence 1 and 2 to a greater idea (eitehr a different perspective, or a social/historical context or really just bring home the values of the author) - but I find that i always end up re-telling the plot and it's just simply not effective. How do I structure my bodies so that I have continuous embedded quotations and have better flow throughout the whole body?
Like I write my topic sentence.. and then what? Do i go into my argument and then use quotes whilst simultaneously explaining what the author is doing to show that?
ok update: I understand the integration of quotes and development of ideas...
I just need to know where to go from a topic sentence? Do i go strraight into evidence and yolo it from there? What's your first sentence after the topic sentence?
Okay, I could write thousands of words about this but in the interests of keeping things concise, your B.P.s for T.R. should look something like:
1. Topic Sentence that outlines a sub-argument or key concern you're going to explore
2. Evidence and analysis
3. Statement linking this discussion back to your main contention and the prompt.
Some people are fans of the 'gradual zooming in' sentence after the T.S. which basically lets you explain your points in a little more detail before jumping into the evidence, and I think that's an excellent idea.
I'd actually advocate for more of a 'yolo' approach when it comes to stage two though. Your previous structure seems a bit too narrow, and restricting yourself to just two pieces of evidence per paragraph is not a good idea. Think of it like building a case in a courtroom or even building a stack of lego bricks - you can't just say two things or put two bricks down and call it a stable structure. You need sufficient coverage of the text to get marks, and limiting your evidence base kind of sets you up to fall short.
Instead, perhaps structure your body paragraphs around the 'explain it to a 5 year old' strategy whereby you pretend to take someone (ideally a small child, as this will encourage you to spell out your logic more clearly) through your thought process from the opening idea through to the closing link to your argument. You're allowed to assume that this 5 year old is very intelligent and will understand anything you say so long as the logic is explained clearly.
Regarding retelling the story, think of it this way. Imagine you had a quote from your text, and someone was asking you where that quote was from. If you were explaining it to a parent, or to your friend at a different school, you'd want to be giving them quite a bit of background info, right? You couldn't just say 'oh, Susan said it after the fire' because they'd be like... who's Susan? What fire? Wtf?? But if you're talking to a friend in your English class, you're not going to give them a huge speech like 'well this quote was delivered by Susan who is Neil's wife and the protagonist of the novel, following her dramatic escape from the hospital which burned down after Neil accidentally set some curtains on fire' because your friend is going to be like... yeah, I know... I've read the book too... you could've just said 'it was Susan after the fire.'
When you write T.R. essays, you need to assume that your assessor has read the text. That doesn't mean you can jump all over the place with no context to your discussion, but it does mean that when you introduce points of evidence, you can just say 'Following her confrontation with the fireman, Susan...' and go on to analyse from there.
Hey Guys,
I'm in need of some help. So I've got a SAC coming up real soon, which is a text response, and I haven't really learnt how to write a proper essay. I've tried writing a couple and I just can't think of any ideas to write after the first paragraph. Not only that, I also don't know how to find arguments and how to elaborate on them properly.
Please Help! 
Have a read through the links on the first page of this thread under the 'Text Response' heading. Hopefully that'll give you some foundation for understanding, and just let us know if there's anything you're still unsure of
Hi,
I'm having a massive problem developing a complex, well-developed contention for a prompt:
For example, if I had received this prompt: The strength of Wolff's memoir is his readiness to cast himself in the worst possible light
I would have no idea what to write, and would probably end up discussing things that's really really basic and shallow. Or I could try to come up with a complex contention and waste my writing time. How can I develop a complex contention? Thank you so much
edit: I study This Boy's Life
See above; the first page of this thread has some good links to discussions about unpacking prompts and formulating contentions, so have a read through those first. Also, consider whether this is a problem with you feeling as though you don't know the text well enough, or just not being able to word your ideas in a more complex way. Simply put: do you not know what to say, or do you not know how to say it, because those are two very different issues that require fairly different approaches.
Hey guys,
I am struggling to get my writing to an A+ level, which is the required level to get the score I am after. Currently, I write one essay a week, hand it to my teacher, get feedback 4-5 days later, re-read and check what I need to improve on - sometimes I rewrite and improve on the mistakes but due to time constraints this rarely occurs.
The issue is that although my teacher has said that I have improved, I still cannot score past a B+ (I was a B+ from start of year 11 and am still a B+ in year 12). I do not understand how I have improved so much, which I have felt and can see in my writing if I am still getting the same score.
Overall, I need to get my essays up to an A+ but I have run out of ideas. The text I am studying right now is ‘In the Country of Men’ for text response.
Any responses will be appreciated.
Okay, so you're getting a B+. But
why are you getting a B+? <-- if you can answer that question, then improvement will be easy, but if you get stuck in the mindset of 'I want to be scoring A+s and I'm not,' then it'll be really hard to facilitate qualitative improvement.
Are you making the same mistakes every time, or are you fixing some mistakes and them making others every time you write? Is your teacher able to go through some of your pieces with you and explain what you need to do to improve? And by that I don't mean having someone say 'your Topic Sentences need work,' but rather, someone who will sit down with you and explain why your T.S.s are flawed, what good ones look like, why they're good, and how you can go about modifying your writing style in order to turn yours into those good versions.
Try to put thoughts of numerical scores or letter grades out of your head for now, and see if you can come up with a personalised list of 'do's and don't's' for Text Response.
eg.
DO:
Ensure your contention is clear by the end of the introduction
Include at least five quotes in every paragraph
Use the author's name when 'zooming out' and talking about the text as a whole
etc.
DON'T
Summarise all your arguments in the introduction and conclusion
Stick quotes into your sentences without integrating them
Reuse words from the prompt without variation or expansion
etc.
...and this will give you a much more coherent plan for improvement
Let me know if you have any questions!
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