Well hi, welcome back to this mess. This section is going to be a 'blob' of random thoughts so feel free to skip on past.
So on the first day VTAC opened, I made my account and then the following day I put preferences/SEAS in. So at first I put in Bsci/Masters Eng @Unimelb as my first preference [which my friend convinced me to put on as it was a 'lifelong' goal through VCE] and then following just a Bsci @Unimelb.
I thought nothing of it, my mindset being 'It's perfect", "there is no need to change it at all", "this is right". I just told myself that this is the right way to go as Bsci/Masters Eng has everything I could have wanted, the maths, the design and the science all in one place. It sounds flawless.
As the days followed, no matter how well that first preference fits my personality, everything felt so wrong.
I brushed it off, thinking it was just 'me and my thoughts' you know? But then more days passed, the feeling was still there. "Maybe I'm just feeling off that's got to be it" I kept repeating to myself. Then weeks passed, nothing changed.
Something was wrong, and I didn't know why.
So I did a massive brainstorm, scrambling to figure out why it felt wrong.
Was it because the ATAR was too high?
Am I scared to jump into this course?
Now if you have read this journal for long enough, you would know recently I wanted to change to just a stand alone Bsci. At first I thought I changed just because the ATAR is lower and there are 'more' options which would relieve pressure [that's true] but something still felt a bit off.
And then I came to this idea.
Was it because I don't want to do engineering anymore?
I thought about this for a quite a while. No that wasn't right, I still want to do engineering. So what on EARTH was the problem?
And then at that instant moment, I felt like I found the last missing puzzle piece. That missing puzzle piece has been staring me in the face for so long, in fact, it's been there the whole time, I just haven't taken the time to slow down and notice it.
Teaching
Long before I started this VCE journey journal, I was considering teaching as a career. The big question now was "Why did I not think of this earlier?" Well, after tracing my footsteps through the past 2 years, there was not one point in time where I was NOT a student tutor of some sort. Maybe the reason why I haven't given it much thought was that I felt fulfilled with the type of 'teaching' I already do?
Part of me still wants to do teaching, and this my friends is where the warzone begins. Do I do Engineering and make teaching a small side job or do I go full on teaching?
So I sat down and thought about it, maybe overdid it a little.
Some very rough ideas of possible options:
1. Go with original combo plan of Bsci [electrical systems] /Masters Eng [electrical]
2. Bsci [physics] -> Masters in Physics
3. Bsci [physics] -> Masters Eng [electrical] (extra year though)
4. Bsci [physics/electrical systems] -> Masters of Teaching
5. Bsci [electrical] -> Masters Eng [electrical] *making this decision later on in life.
After going around in countless circles, I got to some sort of an endpoint.
I hoped back onto today VTAC and you bet I WHOOPED that first combo off my preference and put 1st a standard Bsci. Everything started to feel 'right'.
Ok Ashmi, is it Engineering or Teaching you are going to pursue now?
In short: I'm going to attempt to do both. Will that work? I don't know. But that's alright because I have my whole life ahead and I can jump to different careers!
So what do I need now? That sweet 88 ATAR for guaranteed entry.