Assistance please: coping with jealousy/envy.

[Will T]

How do you guys cope with being less successful (in any facet of life) than another person (or other people)? I know many of you will instantly label this as a narrow-minded question but I'm interested in your opinions nonetheless. For example, being beaten by someone in a competition.

[Stick]

Have you posted this in the Victorian Education Discussion because you'd like this topic to relate to school? Or should this perhaps belong better in the General Discussion section? I'm not quite sure what context you'd like to have this discussion within.

[Felicity Wishes]

I know exactly how you feel.

Acceptance is the best way to deal with it. Slow process but when you deal with the fact that you are your own person and you are tall in your own ways, despite not being as good as someone, it becomes easier deal with the feelings. Self confidence is the key. 

[Mr Keshy]

I'm in year 11, I hang out with a bunch of pretty smart people. They beat me on SAC's and I rarely do the same, I do find it hard to sort of join in when they ask because it does become a lot awkward.
But then one of them might say things like, 'we'll definitely beat him anyway' , "surely he failed" , that just makes me more determined and adds fuel to the fire for me to learn.. Needless to say, I did beat him, albeit, by one mark haha..

If it's just people getting better marks than you and you're feeling down about it, take as a reason to study, a reason to show them you're just as capable as them if not more.

Or simply as motivation for you to do better. I find that sometimes, being beaten kicks you in the back and pushes you further.

The amount you study will show in your results so as long as you do as best as you can, study as hard as you can, you should be very proud of your result no matter what it is because it's your best effort.

Lipton said it imo, Self confidence is the key.

[Dejan]

This topic should be redirected to the Victorian Education Discussion

[Stick]

We're in that forum mate.

[Dejan]

OMG What a Idiot I am, only just realized.....................

[Will T]

Have you posted this in the Victorian Education Discussion because you'd like this topic to relate to school? Or should this perhaps belong better in the General Discussion section? I'm not quite sure what context you'd like to have this discussion within.

Well, the context of the issue for me was that someone at my school deliberately influenced a lot of people into not voting for me for a leadership position and as a result I didn't get one and he did and I'm a bit disconsolate. So a school related discussion would be good, but anything is fine really.

[Mr Keshy]

Have you posted this in the Victorian Education Discussion because you'd like this topic to relate to school? Or should this perhaps belong better in the General Discussion section? I'm not quite sure what context you'd like to have this discussion within.

Well, the context of the issue for me was that someone at my school deliberately influenced a lot of people into not voting for me for a leadership position and as a result I didn't get one and he did and I'm a bit disconsolate. So a school related discussion would be good, but anything is fine really.

Going by what you've said that's a shallow and empty 'victory' for them. Shame on them..

[Felicity Wishes]

Have you posted this in the Victorian Education Discussion because you'd like this topic to relate to school? Or should this perhaps belong better in the General Discussion section? I'm not quite sure what context you'd like to have this discussion within.

Well, the context of the issue for me was that someone at my school deliberately influenced a lot of people into not voting for me for a leadership position and as a result I didn't get one and he did and I'm a bit disconsolate. So a school related discussion would be good, but anything is fine really.

Going by what you've said that's an shallow and empty 'victory' for them. Shame on them..

Exactly. They didn't win because they were 'better' than you or anything. They won through manipulating others while you played fair, meaning that you are the more admirable one in the scheme of things.

[paulsterio]

Well, the context of the issue for me was that someone at my school deliberately influenced a lot of people into not voting for me for a leadership position and as a result I didn't get one and he did and I'm a bit disconsolate. So a school related discussion would be good, but anything is fine really.

I would honestly just punch him if I were you, well ok, not the best way to resolve the issue, but yeah, if you think something of the sort has taken place and you feel that you've been severely disadvantaged by this, it would definitely be good to bring it up with whoever is in charge at your school.

[Mr Keshy]

I also notice you said people and didn't specify students.

Did he tell any teachers as well? I'd find it odd if students alone choose the leadership team at your school. I would have though that the staff would have a significant role in deciding the lead roles.
Having said that, if he does have a 'decent' (and I use that term loosely) reputation among the staff then I can see how things turned out this way for you.

This seems evidently important to you so I say definitely speak to the teachers, no harm at all in trying, especially when you're in the right.

[Will T]

I also notice you said people and didn't specify students.

Did he tell any teachers as well? I'd find it odd if students alone choose the leadership team at your school. I would have though that the staff would have a significant role in deciding the lead roles.
Having said that, if he does have a 'decent' (and I use that term loosely) reputation among the staff then I can see how things turned out this way for you.

This seems evidently important to you so I say definitely speak to the teachers, no harm at all in trying, especially when you're in the right.

Unfortunately, at Haileybury leadership positions are essentially a popularity contest and whoever gets the most votes wins (so long as they're a good student). The teachers do have a say but they generally don't change anything too much. And I don't know whether or not he told any teachers, it's somewhat doubtful though. Thanks for the advice though.

[Will T]

Well, the context of the issue for me was that someone at my school deliberately influenced a lot of people into not voting for me for a leadership position and as a result I didn't get one and he did and I'm a bit disconsolate. So a school related discussion would be good, but anything is fine really.

I would honestly just punch him if I were you, well ok, not the best way to resolve the issue, but yeah, if you think something of the sort has taken place and you feel that you've been severely disadvantaged by this, it would definitely be good to bring it up with whoever is in charge at your school.

I'm considering the latter, I'm not sure what good it would do and it would be hard to prove (although I do have some concrete evidence). But to be honest, punching him does not sound like a bad idea either.

[paulsterio]

Yeah, though I guess if he has run like a smear campaign against you, I don't think there's much you can do, as with any sort of politics (from school leadership to national politics), you can see that it's always half a popularity contest, half a policy contest.

Like if you look at the national election, do you really think people vote for either Labor or the Libs based on their policies alone? Of course not, people vote for them based on who they like, who sells themselves better and yes, people are influenced by what other people say.

I know it's not fair and if you think some foul play has occurred, defs bring it up, but like, you know, it's a part of life I guess