COMMENT ON MY ENCOUNTERING CONFLICT CREATIVE PIECE PLEASE!!!!

[Smatis]

Below is a creative piece with relation to Blueprints For A Barbed Wire Canoe By Wayne Macauley.

the prompt was - Conflict Occurs When People Make A Stand

Please comment so i know where i am heading!!!


Saturday 29th December 1944
Dear Diary
Life is not worth living, the smell is so overpowering that I cannot sleep. Burning human flesh is more than I possible can stand…it is most likely that of my mother. Poor mother was forced to the crematory around lunchtime today and I have not stopped crying since.  I am feeling so alone, if only I could turn the clock back, just to a couple of years or so, long before thus horrible conflict started. We are surrounded by barbed wire, enclosed completely, with no means of escape. There are those who have tried, and have sadly been brutalized to death, right before our very eyes.  We have obviously been forgotten by the rest of the world, how can humans be treated in such a way as this? Scraps of food which are barely enough to feed a mouse are all we have to live off, I am constantly starving, and I am scared that my body will soon succumb to the starvation.  Our clothing is as thin as paper, and provides no comfort from the cold. I am lying on my bed, a few planks of wood, crammed next to another young boy, whilst writing by the moon light. We are all so crammed, over spot is overfilled. The wire sheds in which we sleep provide no break from the wind which tears you through. The camp is just a mess of pits and bodies strewn every couple of meters, every sign of life abandoned from the scene.  I am so tired, working with no rest for hours on end. I am so lucky to have found this scrap of paper, but how am I to possibly keep it safe? If I am found with this, I too will be sent to the crematorium. Sleep has fled these precious eyes of mine, they have seen too much and cannot stand any more. My brain is whizzing, why? Why? Why? Why? Questions fill the mind of every individual, why does it have to be the Jews?  What is wrong with us? If only someone could communicate with us so that we can change rather than be exterminated under Hitler’s command.  Hitler is worse than a carnivore, what is so wrong with the Jewish faith? His grandmother was a Jew, so why is he so against us? What have we done against him? Nothing, and yet he treats us worse than any animal. I must get some sleep so that I keep strong for work tomorrow. If I am not strong I will be separated as my mother was and sent to the crematories, something I wish to avoid as long as possible, if it is possible!
Love Tzipora


Saturday 29th December 1944
Dear Diary
I am so over this concentration camp, but standing up to the guards does not help the situation at all. My life is about to end, all because of one foolish action I decided to take yesterday. It was around lunchtime and I was starving, I had been working for nearly 6 hours continuously without a break.  My feet were nearly frozen, after standing in the snow, and my stomach was cramping, having not eaten anything since 6pm the previous evening. The kapo was whipping me telling me to work harder, and that was when I could not stand the pressure any long. I spun around and yelled into his face, “Why should I? How would you feel if you had not eaten anything for 18 hours, and when you do it is a measly crumb of bread?” with that I punched him in the mouth and darted off in the opposite direction. Seconds after that heavy blow, I regretted my actions, there was no way I would live through the war now, not a chance. I would never again see any member of my family again. I rushed to the fence and lunged at the top, it was my only means of escape. As I felt myself being torn by the barbed wire, I felt as though my leg had just blown up. I dropped onto the ground and lay still.  I soon realised that I had been shot through the leg by one of the guard in the watch tower; I had not a chance left. I was dragged away to a cell right beside the crematorium, and told that it was my last hours. The heat radiation was so immense, I barely though I would make it through the next few hours. So here I am, writing in this diary, that I hope someone may be able to take it away safely to my family as soon as this terrible war is over.
Love Juliek


Saturday 29th December 1944
Dear Diary,
I don’t know how I am going to last through these next few months, till this awful war is over. I am so glad of the extra food I get as a kapo, but I cannot face the thought of trowing my own Jewish friend into the crematorium. I should have stood up when the guard asked me to become a kapo, but I did not and now I have to face the consequences...and the conflict within my soul. I only have two options, either I continue the way I am going or a refuse and I too will be one of those poor Jewish guys that are thrown into the crematories by another kapo. I do not know which path to take and I am becoming more and more desperate as the days go by. I have not seen my mother or brother in two years, it is all I live for now; to see them again. I do not know which is worse, kill others to kept yourself alive or to not, and suffer as they do. All this is because I did not have the guts to stand up to that foolish guard on that cold and frosty night last week, and sadly succumbed to the pressure to my internal detriment. I would never have had to face such tedious decisions and conflict within my soul, as I am now experiencing as I write upon this page. May God bless me with the knowledge to make to right decision?
Love Stein


Statement of intention

I have written these creative pieces, aiming to convey how conflict occurs when individuals stand up to higher authorities, and also how interpersonal conflict is brought about by not making a stand. I have written this piece in the form of three diary entries, using relatively simple language as one account is that of a twelve year old girl. I have used both first person and third person narrative to give variance to my piece of writing.  I am aiming to try and link ‘Blueprints for A Barbed Wire Canoe’, with the concept of conflict, though using the context of Jewish concentration camps.
The context of my pieces in based on a Jewish concentration camp throughout World War 2. I have used this as there are many elements in the setting that depict that of Ur; desolateness, barbed wire, discomfort and the lack of essential provisions. The context also included that concept that both characters feel as though they have been forgotten by the greater society and that they are worthless to anyone around them.
The form of my creative piece is that of three individual diary entries, of three separate Jewish individuals in much the same circumstances, at a concentration camp. I have written then in this way as it conveys the personal feelings of the individuals, that they would not express other than in their own personal diary.
The language I have used is relatively informal as it is written by three members of society that have not had contact with the outside world for many months, and have rarely had the opportunity to touch pen to paper over the last few years. Using this type of language conveys to the reader exactly how the individuals feel at that moment in time.
These pieces of writing are written in the form of a third person narrative, allowing me as the author to express the individual emotions, and the conflict that they are suffering outwardly or inwardly.
By writing these pieces in the way I have using short pieces with relatively simple language I have aimed to attract an audience of the common public that will understand, without have the concepts to complex or in depth.
I have drawn on Blueprints For A Barbed Wire Canoe in many ways. Firstly I have related the characters to those in the book. The first diary entry related to Bram who did not make a stand but rather went with the flow and did not cause conflict. The second diary entry is that of one who made a stand violently, and generated immense conflict, ending in death brought about by himself, relating to Michal, who acted violently and ended up ending his own life. The third diary entry is representative of a character like Slug who was easily overcome by the pressure, who did not make a stand and became a traitor, suffering interpersonal conflict. The aspect of barbed wire comes into both pieces as to the aspect of being enclosed by a wall with no means of escape. The lack of necessities is apparent in both pieces as it the aspect of death, which was ongoing in the Jewish concentration camps. The despair that surrounded the characters provides another vital link between these pieces and the novel ‘Blueprints For A Barbed Wire Canoe’.
The purpose of writing these pieces was to help show how conflict is not only brought about when people make a stand but is also strongly apparent when characters fail to do so, to their detriment.