All About Eve (one body paragraph and topic sentences)

[she_doc]

Hi! I wrote one body paragraph and topic sentences for an All About Eve topic. Hope you can give me some feedback. I feel like I am lacking depth.

All About Eve is all about appearances. Discuss
Mankiewicz highlights the duplicitous facade people are willing to indulge themselves in, to achieve their aspirations. The audience is introduced to Eve wearing a worn trenchcoat and hat which portrays her as a humble, naive “loose lamb in the jungle.” Her sycophantic mannerisms and her portrayal of herself as a just a “star-struck kid” towards Margo and Karen elicits sympathy from both. When recounting her apocryphal past, the mise en scene was designed in such a way to position Eve under a lamp that made her look like she’s under a spotlight and the rest of the characters looking up at her as if watching a play. She retells her story like a scripted speech, presenting herself as a helpless ingenue marred by the tragic events of her past. Eve embodies various lies in order to “be somebody” so that she can gradually involve herself in Margo’s affairs and eventually usurp her. The audience witness the desperate yet deceitful measures taken to distort the reality of themselves in order to achieve. Furthermore, Mankiewicz critiques the naive perception Karen has on Eve which demonstrates how one’s outward behaviour can falsify one’s judgement of them. Mankiewicz shows that there are people willing to go to any extent to succeed which involves manipulating one’s own identity and essentially live a lie.

Mankiewicz promulgates that the truth about one’s nature will be exposed no matter how much one distorts their identity to portray themselves as something they are not.

Mankiewicz critiques the society’s expectation of women encompassing young, feminine qualities that lead women to become paranoid of their fading physical features due to age.

[AngeRay]

All About Eve is all about appearances. Discuss

Mankiewicz highlights the duplicitous facade people are willing to indulge themselves in, to achieve their aspirations. The audience is introduced to Eve wearing a worn trenchcoat and hat which portrays her as a humble, naive “loose lamb in the jungle.” Her sycophantic mannerisms and her portrayal of herself as a just a “star-struck kid” towards Margo and Karen elicits sympathy from both. When recounting her apocryphal past, the mise en scene was designed in such a way to position Eve under a lamp that made her look like she’s under a spotlight and the rest of the characters looking up at her as if watching a play. I'm not sure about this sentence. "designed in a manner to give her the image of being in the spotlight whilst the other characters look up at her as if she was the star of a play. She retells her story like a scripted speech, presenting herself as a helpless ingenue marred by the tragic events of her past. Eve embodies various lies in order to “be somebody” so that she can gradually involve herself in Margo’s affairs and eventually usurp her. The audience witness the desperate yet deceitful measures taken to distort the reality of themselves in order to achieve. Furthermore, Mankiewicz critiques the naive perception Karen has on Eve which demonstrates how one’s outward behaviour can falsify one’s judgement of them. Mankiewicz shows that there are people willing to go to any extent to succeed which involves manipulating one’s own identity and essentially live a lie.

Mankiewicz promulgates that the truth about one’s nature will be exposed no matter how much one distorts their identity to portray themselves as something they are not. Maybe "someone else" or "something else"?

Mankiewicz critiques the society’s expectation of women encompassing young, feminine qualities that lead women to become paranoid of their fading physical features due to age. How is this about appearances. I understand that its about physical societal pressure but it could be clearer. From this, I'm not sure what the paragraph will be about.

Mankiewicz communicates the impossible standards of women to hold young, feminine qualities which lead to paranoia of fading physical beauty and the declining of the power derived from the female appearance." It may not be right for you, but I think it needs to address the prompt a little more.

1. I haven't seen the movie so I could be wrong.
2. You should try starting each topic sentence in a different manner. It gets repetitive especially as you already used "Mankiewicz critiques" in the first paragraph.
3. First paragraph was very detailed and well-written.

There wasn't much to pick on besides some questionable sentence structures, well done

[she_doc]

Thanks a lot!