'The children in Harwood's poems are often selfish, unpleasant and cruel. They present us with a bleak view of human nature'. Discuss.
Gwen Harwood presents the different aspects of human nature in her collection ‘Gwen Harwood, Collected Poems’. Written during a period of change and restriction in society, Harwood reflects on and narrates her memories of childhood in Australia. Harwood explores the different characteristics children possess, such as cruelty and selfishness. However, Harwood alternatively illustrates closer insight of the energy and innocence of children. Throughout her poems, she adopts various personas to encapsulate the nature of children and give a realistic perspective of children in different environments. Keeping in mind I haven't read any of the poems, from this, I'm not sure what your contention is. I think you are saying that yes, the children are unpleasant and cruel but she also illustrates the energy and innocence of children. I think that sentence needs to be stronger and more clear to the examiner. I also don't know what your arguments are. "Throughout her poems, she adopts various personas to encapsulate the nature of children and give a realistic perspective of children in different environments" is a good sentence, but it doesn't really mean anything. It needs to be followed by something like "Using these multiple personas, Harwood communicates to the reader that children are egotistical and self-centred, but are also capable of exhibiting compassionate emotions such as sympathy and empathy." This more says to the examiner that one paragraph will be on the multiple personas, one will be on the negative qualities of children but one will be on a further expansion into their good qualities. Take it with a gain of salt though, you may hate doing that.
Harwood shows a realistic perspective of the cruelty children display towards each other, learnt from adults around them. Harwood often illustrates the strict, competitive environment children are subjected in school. These sentences don't really link to one another, I would say scrap this and continue on. In the poem ‘The Spelling Prize’ children are ‘seated in four in discomfort’, competing to win a story book, illustrating the strict competitive nature of schools. Harwood explains when ‘you missed your word, you sat down’ this act encouraged encouraging children to judge each other and reinforced reinforcing the notion that school is a place of competition. Harwood further conveys the cruelty of children through their actions towards animals, in the poem 'Spelling Prize', ‘the big boys impal[ing frogs]’ I'm not sure what this is supposed to be, you can't square bracket half a word. If the phrase was "impaled frogs" then you write it as "[impaling] frogs" and one normally uses "" for quotes from the text and '' for reference to an idea or place. is are depicted in the playground. Similarly, this depiction is also seen in her poem ‘The Secret Life of Frogs’ where ‘the big boys blew…and spiked [frogs]’. Harwood depicts frogs in this poem to symbolise vulnerable targets that are often harmed by those with more power. In addition, Harwood mentions fathers idolised by their children, recalling ‘one bully [having] the very knife…his father killed ten Germans – twenty – a hundred’. I think the sentence needs to end here, it's just too long. and ‘Dad the Impaler’ these descriptions Descriptions such as "Dad the impaler" signifieds the male Be careful, it sounds lowkey like your opinion. "signifies the masculine" violence that condition many boys from a young age and will therefore be reflected through their actions towards animals and later in life, even to those around them. Through these recounts Harwood seeks to reveal to readers the cruel actions taught and modelled by adults and the environment they are placed in. The environments who are placed in? The adults? The children? I can't tell from this. "adults and" has to be followed by something else.
At times the innocence and simplicity of childhood is longed for in Harwood’s poems. Adulthood is commonly viewed as a time of responsibility and maturity, in the poem ‘The Violets’, adulthood is described as ‘dusk and cold’. This bland description reflects Harwood’s view of life of an adult, consumed by the responsibilities she has in her life, devoid of any the joy she once had. Harwood further depicts adult life as ‘among ashes and loam’, this signifies growth disintegrating, hence, death nearing in her life. In contrast to her childhood, she illustrates the ‘dusk surrendered pink and white’, indicating the innocence and colour evident in her life during this period of time. Moreover, Harwood recalls ‘spring violets in their loamy bed’, this juxtaposes her perspective of adulthood, presenting childhood as a time of growth and change occurring in her life. Through her nostalgic narration of childhood, Harwood outlines the uncomplicated lifestyle children experience and reflects on the transition from childhood to adulthood, contrasting the uncertainty and challenges she encounters as an adult in comparison to the easiness of being a carefree child. Harwood convey to readers that the freedom and simplicity children have is often yearned when adulthood is perceived as a time full of responsibilities and hardships. The last sentence is very good, everything else is a little bit jumbled and muddled. Are you talking about Harwood's longing for childhood, her perceptions of adulthood or her contrast between how she perceives her future as a child and how she perceives her future now as an adult? I don't know. Its like you had a lot of ideas and evidence, and just shoved it all into one paragraph to sound better. You need to work out what exactly the point is in your paragraph, and make sure its mirrored in your intro, because this whole paragraph certainly wasn't.
Harwood concludes that although children are capable of being violent and judgemental, this is a result from being a by-product of their environment. Children can also display qualities of cheerfulness and innocence, portraying human nature as dynamic. ... Please tell me this isn't the conclusion, is it? That's it? The end? 'Fin'? Please leave the cinema, over? You absoulutely have to have more.
1. You should try and stick to third person, present tense the whole way through the essay.
2. I don't think the use of "Harwood depicts/portrays/communicates" is a problem, but mixing it up with "the author" or "the writer" or something may be better.
3. I don't know what the link to human nature your teacher wants is, but I felt you addressed it in the paragraph with the young boys modelling themselves after the adult models. Maybe you need to make a link between the social nature of humans and their tendency to copy others?
4. Your conclusion needs to be bigger, better and badder. If you don't feel like you dropped the mic at the end of the sentence, you're not doing it right. It should be about 3-4 sentences, and
never include the term "concluding" no matter the context. It needs to somehow reword the prompt and your contention without sounding repetitive, make a general statement about the issue in question and about the purpose of the book. Something more like:
Harwood utilises a variety of personas and perspectives to illustrate that children are capable of violence and judgement, a direct result from the inappropriate modelling of their environment. However, she uses these qualities as a contrast between the other characteristics of innocence and curiosity to communicate to readers that the human nature is dynamic and forever changing. She highlights that being bought up in a certain manner does not dictate one's growth and ability to adapt later in life and signifies the challenges faced by adults as they reflect on their past and look towards their future. The human soul is a vibrant and shining object, Harwood portrays this subtly through the eyes of the children she seems to degrade, but secretly praises for having cheer where she cannot. I don't know if this will work for you, maybe you or your teacher will hate it, but can you see how it changes the feel of your ending?
I hope it helps
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