English Adv: Discovery

[hi.itsjessi]

Hi friends! So this is my essay for Discovery, with my prescribed being Robert Gray's poetry. My teachers haven't really said much about it so i was hoping you guys could help me out by chucking in an opinion or two, whatever tickles your tictac  THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[dancing phalanges]

Hi friends! So this is my essay for Discovery, with my prescribed being Robert Gray's poetry. My teachers haven't really said much about it so i was hoping you guys could help me out by chucking in an opinion or two, whatever tickles your tictac  THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Hey! I studied Robert Gray so hopefully I can be of help to you!

‘Whether motivated by need, wonder or curiosity, discovery has the power to be transformative’
How accurately does this statement reflect the view of discovery explored in your prescribed text?

Whether it be personal or spiritual I don't exactly understand the point of this, usually when someone starts with whether it be... the two things are contrasting or dichotomies of each other which personal and spiritual aren't., the plight of a discovery is one that is quite intricate- a subjective experience with an unmatched ability to shape and mould individuals regardless of whether it is motivated by need, curiosity or wonder. Such discoveries are exemplified within the poetry of Robert Gray, emanated through Journey: the North Coast, Meatworks and Flames and Dangling Wire. It becomes evident that through these poems, these themes of discovery are able to accurately depict its transformative nature. This last sentence really just doesn't make sense.

Gray’s representation of the powerful influence that nature holds in catalysing one’s discovery is accurately depicted within Journey- the North Coast.Again I think you should aim for a more simple and clear start. Something like In JTNC, Gray depicts the influence that nature has in influencing one's discovery. This notion is effectively brought to light as we follow the persona’s transition from an ubranised city into a rural area. To begin with, the first person narration that the poem adopts, “I wake up” gives insight into the intense moments of deeply personal realisation and experience by internally focalising the event of the poem from the perspective of the persona; whilst a sense of immediacy and vitality of the forthcoming discoveries is imbued through the use of the present tense. Again I think clarity is lacking here. 'gives insight into the intense moments of deeply personal realisation and experience by internally focalising the event of the poem from the perspective of the persona' just does not make a lot of sense and really does not contribute to your argument. “the train… tears the wind apart”, through this metaphorically violent image, Gray is suggestive of the destructive implications that urbanisation poses; not only to nature, but also to our inner being. A solid idea but again probably not expressed in quite a clear manner, for instance metaphorically violent image - I don't think you need metaphorically as you imply that it is a metaphor after.The train which is venturing through the natural world is the vector upon which the persona’s rediscovery is made and this can first be seen in “water sways… it joins through my hand”. Water holds the symbolic value of purity and freedom; here, Gray uses this to convey the persona’s rediscovery of a sense of completeness. Through this, the poet is able to reinforce the idea that urban society provokes feelings of spiritual and social stagnation and detachment- a direct antithesis to the natural world. However, it is through the emersion of nature where a sense of solace can be found.I really don't think you are nailing the most critical aspect of this essay - discovery. Currently it just sounds like a bunch of ideas that don't work well as a whole and that don't really relate to discovery as well as they could. This idea of nature invoking feelings of serenity is further emphasised through “blue and silver paddocks… banks of fern… red… dark creek… blackened tree trunks”. It is here where the persona’s sense of wonder towards the rediscovery of the natural world can be seen; Gray’s accumulation of adjectives and hence idyllic images are highly reflective of the persona’s newfound sense of spiritual rejuvenation and contentment. In addition to this, the allusion to Marcel Duchamp’s cubist artwork “as a nude descends a staircase” serves to further accentuate the beauty of nature, with the metaphor “strewn with flakes of light” suggesting unhindered delight- the persona seeing themselves mirrored within nature’s beauty and vitality. From this, the responder can see that through the wonder and sheer beauty that is found in nature, the rejuvenation and obtaining of personal freedom and fulfilment can be found in the face of a confining society. The last few sentences are definitely an improvement but I really think that the last sentence needs to be changed as it doesn't explicitly relate back to the question. I was also unsure whether you were discussing wonder, need or curiosity in this para so definitely make that A LOT more clear. I would also focus a bit more on clearly explaining HOW the discovery of the natural world is transformative for the narrator as that is a key part of the question.

Antithetically, Meatworks is centred upon the shocking implications of materialism- a disruption of the natural processes of life and the inner discoveries which come as a result. Your first sentence should be answering the question directly and you haven't done that here. In the HSC, it is likely that a marker may think you pre-prepared a response because you aren't responding to the key words of the question - in particular the part about whether it is inspired by need, curiosity or wonder.Gray's poem opens with the “Slaughtering… crawl… hot, fertilizer thick, sticky stench of blood”. Immediately, a sense of confrontation from within the abattoir is established through the use of sibilance- as is emphasised by the word “crawl”, making clear of the persona’s shame and ethical burden for working there. I don't exactly think that the technique and quote matches your explanation. The use of crawl, sticky stench of blood etc. is more so highlighting the confronting nature of the persona's work rather than his direct shame and guilt, that comes up later in the poem.To further highlight this idea, the persona “settled for one of the lowest paid jobs”- suggesting an attempt to preserve their morality in the face of an environment which is undoubtedly grim and the pressing expectations for monetary gain. Gray’s distaste for materialism is made apparent within the entirety of the poem as “bellowing, sloppy yards” creates disturbing aural imagery of slaughter within the minds of the responder- a clear insinuation that nature here is out of balance. Nicely done.The enjambment intensifies this effect, heightening the cruel and inhumane nature of the abattoir and of the slaughter which takes place within. From this, It can be inferred the persona has become dehumanised; compromising his values and morals for the need of financial security as this is “the only works”. The audience comes to a realisation that the persona is an archetype of the cataclysmic side of society- foreshadowing what is to come of a society which has become increasingly obsessed with affluence. To further drive forth this notion, there is a powerful insinuation that the persona’s work at the abattoir has corrupted him as he attempts to “wash out on the blue metal” however, “there is still blood”. It is here where the poet alludes to Lady Macbeth and her compulsive hand washing- with King Duncan’s blood symbolically representing her guilt. In the context of this poem, the washing of the hand is symbolic of the persona’s attempt to cleanse himself of his self-condemnation.This is all EXCELLENT analysis and information, yet it still is not nailing the question on the head. It is rather just analysing the poem instead of analysing it through the lens of discovery. You can fix this by including fillers like - this allows the responder to recognise the immorality of today's consumerist society. You also have still not mentioned whether this discovery is motivated by curiosity, wonder or need. Similar to how Journey: the North Coast explores the restorative aspects of nature, MeatworksGray does this, not the poem. also delves into this idea: “shiny, white, bruising beach in mauve light”. Through the use of personification, the beach is described as bruising- a reference to the inherent guilt that the persona feels when confronted with another aspect of nature. The image here is one which is quite pleasant; with the sibilance in “startling storm cloud mountains” presenting nature as both beautiful and shocking in all of its glory and hence providing an absolute antithesis to the horrifying nature of the abattoir. It is here where we, the responder and the persona come to realise the restorative qualities that nature possesses. It is a powerful image that the persona uses “shell grit to scrub my hands”- nature is presented as an entity that can alleviate the spiritual turmoil felt by the worker. The literal cleansing within the “icy ledges of the surf” once again portrays the power of nature and its simplicity in comparison to the unnatural course that humanity has taken in surrounding itself with materialism. Clearly, it can be seen that in the face of desperation for sustainable income within a society that has become so consumed with wealth, the restorative and transformative nature of the natural world is where we may find salvation and come to terms with our inner being. This is a great attempt at analysis a poem full of complex ideas. Unfortunately, you would have certainly lost a fair few marks here as most of the analysis still lacks direct reference to the discovery concept. You have also disregarded the KEY aspect of the question - is the discovery in the meatworks inspired by need, curiosity or wonder? If you do not do this the marker will say that you did not answer the question and you will be penalised despite writing great stuff!

Flames and Dangling Wire is a poem centred upon a society which has lost its way and the spiritual discoveries which arise from this predicament. Again this does not relate to the question at all. You need to focus in your thesis on what it is inspired by (need, curiosity or wonder) and how it is transformativeThis poem takes place within a “dump”, “over the marshland, off to one side”. This opening of the poem creates a sense of remoteness which in turn exudes the idea that that an uncovering of something beyond the deceptive confines and façade of the city will take place. The simile in “like fingers spread and dragged to smudge” further emphasises this by inducing a foreboding atmosphere- a sense of chaos to bring forth how the smoke obscures and eclipses the beauty of the natural world around it. In saying this, it can be inferred that this poem is suggestive of the dystopic wasteland that our society will inevitably become. Again, the image of the smoke causing a “fog over the sun” reinforces this by showing another aspect of nature that has been affected by humans. It is through this poem where Gray’s curiosity Personally I don't think this poem is about Gray's curiosity for discovery. The tone of the poem suggests that he knows too well the course humanity is taking and is trying to warn us about it. i would say that it is the persona of the poem who is curious by the state of the marshland and the dystopic landscape if you understand what I am saying. as to the course of humanity is well and truly explored. “Hell the devils… pick… souls”; A small thing but throughout your whole response you haven't exactly blended your quotes in well they are just being slapped at the front of the sentence rather than being seamlessly built into sentenceshere the use of religious allusion is used to describe our own society- where the Devils are representative of the scavengers and our discarded good are the souls which Again, creates an articulation of the chaotic nature of our society and what is to come, similar to that of Meatworks. The persona reaches an epiphany, “I realise I am in the future”- he comes to a realisation of the inevitability of humanity’s destruction. Through Gray’s allusion to Theodore Gericault’s “Raft of the Medusa”, he eloquently suggests the futility of humanity and the oblivion that is to come. Unlike to the previous two poems where the persona is able to find contentment within nature, this poem sees the persona without any spiritual connection to nature- articulating that the destructive nature of modern living is one which is unrecoverable and is ultimately the cause of our demise. Through such a shocking discovery that is both potent and sensually arresting, It is here where Gray forces us to question whether or not we are making the most out of our time and hence where it is that our society is headed.I really do think you have great analysis here again but it still does not relate closely to the question. You are lacking an explicit discussion of how it transforms the responder/persona and still did not address the first part of the question.

The poetry of Robert Gray explicitly evinces the essence of discovery- whereby the transformative nature of this abstraction is explicitly captured deep within Journey: the North Coast, Meatworks and Flames and Dangling Wire. The poet grasps this metaphysical concept and brings to light how the power within which nature holds, the brutality of materialism, and the exploration of a society in the face of oblivion all serve to facilitate in the spiritual and personal discoveries within each persona. The undertaking of a discovery is one which is inevitable and whilst each individual offers a diversity of perceptions and experiences which contributes to a discovery, it is something which is delved by each persona but ultimately completed by the responder.

You know what I am going to say... answer the question more directly! You wrote some great analysis but you have really failed to explain how each discovery is transformative and you also have not showed how each one is either inspired by need, curiosity or wonder. Once you do that, you will have a much better response!