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August 28, 2025, 02:31:44 pm

Author Topic: Sophistication In Writing  (Read 4633 times)  Share 

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jessgee

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Sophistication In Writing
« on: May 03, 2018, 08:03:27 pm »
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Hi Guys

So I got my half yearly result today for English getting a 12/15 which is a high B.After reading the comments on my paper there was no criticism in my structure and my essay writing and that everything was done great however my marks were lost through my lack of sophistication and poor phrasing which looking at my feedback is my biggest downfall,not just in English but all of my subjects which all require essay writing.I love to get some good tips on improving my phrasing and sophistication in my writing.Thanks so much for your help:)

beatroot

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Re: Sophistication In Writing
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2018, 09:28:44 pm »
+1
Hey there and welcome to the forums :)

Is it possible the choice of words you used weren't exactly appropriate or correct? I remember back in Year 11 when I used 'fancy' words to make me seem heaps more smart in my essays, when in reality it looked like I was trying too hard ahaha. Or is it possible the structure of your sentence made it seem like you 'poorly' phrased your statements and analysis in your essay?

The way I approached my essays in english, is that I had the 'less is more' mindset. Having concise sentences with words you feel comfortable with/actually know (not just using a particular word for the sake of looking "more" smart) would look so much more sophisticated. For example: On the other hand, the colour motif of the ‘green’, suggests the fireflies’ connection with mother nature and also demonstrates their growth and capacity as a collective group.

Feel free to upload your essay here on this post or type out the sentences you feel lack sophistication or are poorly phrased so that we can help you out and give you feedback :)
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prickles

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Re: Sophistication In Writing
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2018, 10:20:59 am »
+3
I feel you have to be confident in the words you are using - only use big words if you totally understand the right context they should be in.
I like putting it this way: If you are confused about the word, the sentence is confused. If sentences are confused, the essay is confused. If the essay is confused, the marker will be confused. If the marker is confused... you will probably be confused about your mark  ;D
One strategy I have used is finding a sentence in an essay you get back, or just write a complex sentence that would be found in an essay. Then try to write the same sentence in 2-3 different ways, and then get someone to read over them all, and tell you which ones have the best expression and phrasing. It doesn't have to be a teacher looking at your sentences. It can be anyone, even someone younger, as they won't look for content, rather what makes sense to them.  Look at the sentences, and find out why the best one sounds cohesive and succinct.
After a few practices, hopefully you will begin to see what makes a good sentence, and therefore improve your essays

But again, feel free to post an essay/a paragraph and someone can take a look at it for you  ;)

S200

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Re: Sophistication In Writing
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2018, 10:35:27 am »
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Same as above, but I'm gonna throw my strategy in here.
I pick one technical word and use ONLY that word in the essay.

My favs have been Demesne and inveigle... :D

EDIT: Just realised that this is HSC... Soz...
« Last Edit: May 04, 2018, 11:29:39 am by S200 »
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jamonwindeyer

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Re: Sophistication In Writing
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2018, 08:28:52 pm »
+1
EDIT: Just realised that this is HSC... Soz...

Your advice is still very much useful north of the border ;D

jessgee

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Re: Sophistication In Writing
« Reply #5 on: May 07, 2018, 12:22:45 pm »
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Hi Guys
Thank you for all the help,it is much appericated.To answer your question beatroot my issue is not that i am using big words.It is because my sentence structure and use of wording is not at the level it should be for the HSC.My teacher also noted that I also needed improvement on my spelling and grammar which i find hard to practise for.

beatroot

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Re: Sophistication In Writing
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2018, 05:54:01 pm »
+3
Hi Guys
Thank you for all the help,it is much appericated.To answer your question beatroot my issue is not that i am using big words.It is because my sentence structure and use of wording is not at the level it should be for the HSC.My teacher also noted that I also needed improvement on my spelling and grammar which i find hard to practise for.

Hey! If you post your stuff here on AN, we can help you out with your sentence structure and choice of words. It's all about practice and feedback to improve in English. It's so much better to attempt questions than doing nothing at all. Ignorance isn't really bliss in english aha.
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Dictionnaire de la Marche

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Re: Sophistication In Writing
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2018, 12:51:33 pm »
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Here's another Victorian poster! :)

Firstly, I just want to say that I totally agree with everything that has been said above. However, having identified that you feel that your biggest issue with phrasing is spelling and grammar, I would suggest that you do everything you can to improve in that specific area. I totally sympathise with you, it is hard to practice, but honestly, grammar is one of those things that is so underestimated yet so so important. From my own experience, I have found that if you can grasp and effectively utilise correct grammar mechanisms, your writing suddenly becomes much easier for the marker to read and understand. Ultimately, the more clear and concise your writing is, the easier it is to mark, and the easier it is to mark, the better the score you will get. Believe me, there is nothing quite as joyful to a literary fan, than reading a piece of wiring that is clear, concise and sophisticated!
 
In order to improve your grammar and phrasing, I would suggest a few things; firstly, spend your spare time reading good literature. None of those trashy tween fiction adventure novels, I mean proper sophisticated literature such as Charles Dickens. The classics are always a good place to start. Stretch yourself and remember that it doesn't matter if you don't understand the level of literature being used. Just take it one step at a time and look up words you don't understand, and soon you will begin to incorporate sophisticated phrases into your writing without even realising! Reading is so important because not only does it introduce you to new words and ideas, it also provides an exemplar of what good writing looks like and helps you identify the gap between your own writing and the authors writing.

On the spelling front, I would use a dictionary to spell every word you are not sure about. I don't know if you are allowed to use dictionaries in your assessments, but if you are, I would suggest that you take advantage of this privilege. It might take a bit of extra time, but it is well worth not losing those critical marks that make all the difference. Also, you could come up with little tricks to help you remember difficult words, for example when I was in primary school, I used to say the 'c' in scissors to help me remember it was there!

Lastly, practise, practise, practise! Even good writers have to constantly write in order to improve. And I don't mean that you should just write loads of practice essays. Start a journal, pen a creative short story, whatever it takes to get you enthused! After you have proofread your work, (reading it out loud is the best way), get a mentor, (preferably someone picky who will find grammatical errors and poor phrasing), to read over it and provide constructive criticism. After this, go back and use their suggestions to improve your work. This is extremely crucial, as not only will it help you to reinforce their feedback, but also reading the finished result will give you an amazing sense of satisfaction when you realise that you can write a well structured and smooth piece of writing!

I hope that some of my ramblings make sense and help you to become an even better writer! ;D
Good Luck!
« Last Edit: May 09, 2018, 09:42:12 pm by Dictionnaire de la Marche »