HSC Journal- No Idea How This Is Going to Go...

[Lumenoria]

OML wow its been so long since I have updated. 

Let me fill u guys in since it has been ages. Its been an emotional rollercoaster. Waking up stressed every day, studying, procrastinating a little bit on ATARNotes...trying not to freak out about my trials.


I had Paper 1, and Paper 2 English, and Maths 2 unit so far. Paper 1 was my first exam and luckily for me it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The first exam always seems the hardest. then again, I was the most prepared for paper 1 English cause I did like 8 past papers all together, spent hours on fixing up my creative and my discovery essay plans. I also printed out trial papers from other schools, and OMG you will not believe it, the exact essay question that I practiced on, the same question came in the exam! I WAS SO HAPPY, you have no idea. I could have screamed with delight right in the exam room if I could.

As for maths 2 u I was freaking out as well. Ik a lot of people think that maths is easy, but for me it's something I've really struggled with, since primary. Picking maths extension was a pretty dumb decision I feel, because I am not as good at maths as other people in my cohort. Note that I go to a selective high school so all the people are super gun at everything, whilst I am just...average.

But luckily, when  I did the exam, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I was getting so anxious about it, I was practically gulping for air the morning of my exam. My mom could see I was so close to having a panic attack because I didn't feel prepared, and she kept reassuring me. Even though I didn't drink much water and went to go to the bathroom before the exam, I still had to go because I was busting. I was so annoyed at my weak ass bladder. I practically sprinted all the way to the bathroom and back, so I didn't waste much time. It was all well and good because I finished the exam well before time and still had time to check.

Paper 2 English was so far not so good. I didn;t have time to do any past papers in time limit because I had to memorise my essays and make sure I knew what to write. I was so annoyed at my fricking teachers. they took so long in getting our essays marked and giving them back to us. Literally they gave us our Mod C essay back only two days before trials, and our Mod B essay the day of our Paper 1. The feedback wasn't even that helpful. It was so annoying cause I didn't have any time to edit my essays cause I was busy with Math and discovery creative.

Speaking of which, I already posted for people to mark, so if ppl can mark it I would be so thankful. Shout out to Jamon Windeyer for marking it, I am so grateful.

Anyways, literarlly after the three exams, I was so tired I came home after Paper 2 and just took a solid 3 hour nap because I was running on 7 days of straight up cramming. Woke up with another headache, did some light memorising, and then I woke up early, studied for a solid 5-6 hours at the library and now I am procrastinating writing this post because I feel too ceebs to do legal.

Can I ask you guys something? Do you necessarily have to be thinking about studying or studying 24/7 to do well? Like, at times where I don't feel like studying and procrastinate a little, I feel so bad and guilty for being so lazy and undisciplined, even though I probably did a lot of work that day anyway. I feel so guilty when I am not studying and taking time for myself, but I feel miserable when I don't take a break. It's getting to the point where I feel guilty when I sleep, or do things that are not related to trials.


Speaking of trials, I am absolutely going to die next week. I have 5 exams back to back, with two on the same day (Bio and Eco). Someone please kill me, before trials does.


And honestly, at this point I am so done with the HSC and the whole ATAR obsession. For those of you who have been reading my journal, you guys know that I have had a rough year and have failed a lot (cough cough half yearlies) and have been super obsessed about my atar. for a while, I used to feel ashamed that I might do badly and get a not so good atar and not get into UNSW or any other Group 8 uni. But honestly, at this point, I don;t care about my ATAR and how well I do in the HSC, as long as I gave it my all. Its a bit hard to let go of my perfectionist tendencies (if I were in control, I would want to come first in every subject and get a 99.95 but that is not happening), but honestly, I need to care more about my mental health than that mark, because these marks don't give me nearly as much happiness as I get from spending time with my family and friends, and pursuing my hobbies. Don;t get me wrong, I still am going to work hard. I have to cause unfortunately its trials. I hate the fact that I have to put my life on hold just for these exams that I am going to forget in like 3 days. I don't even care what my ATAR is, I just want HSC to be over.
I am learning not to care so much about marks, and not to feel ashamed and beat myself up, for not being the perfect 99+ all rounder student. I'm just going to have to accept myself and whatever skills i have in a subject...and just focus on how I am going to enjoy life so much more after HSC because I am finally going to be able to choose what I want to do and study, not subject myself to stress because of the stupid NESA guidelines.


Anyways, my mini rant is done. Will try to actually update more. Just stuff on what I have been feeling lately. Mainly insecurity and fear, and a sense of apathy. I will continue to work hard...what happens...happens

Ah I feel the same way. I've finished my trial exams on Tuesday, way earlier than most people in my year, and although I assured myself that I would talk a break from studying, it legit feels weird as fuck hahaha. It's like I'm so accustomed to studying that I don't know what to do with myself when I deviate away from my study regimen, so I've gotten back onto the grind until my friends finish their trials. It's definitely a bit of guilt, but also just routine I guess. Good luck with your trials! And I'm glad you're prioritising your mental health man, it's admirable. I wish I could be the same aha

[StudyBuddyKJ]

Ah I feel the same way. I've finished my trial exams on Tuesday, way earlier than most people in my year, and although I assured myself that I would talk a break from studying, it legit feels weird as fuck hahaha. It's like I'm so accustomed to studying that I don't know what to do with myself when I deviate away from my study regimen, so I've gotten back onto the grind until my friends finish their trials. It's definitely a bit of guilt, but also just routine I guess. Good luck with your trials! And I'm glad you're prioritising your mental health man, it's admirable. I wish I could be the same aha

Haha thanks. And dude you really should be prioritising your health. I used to think that just pushing through would help, but really it doesn't

[StudyBuddyKJ]

5 EXAMS NEXT WEEK!!!!!

MOD: Removed part of this post as per forum rules.

[StudyBuddyKJ]

Just finished two 3 hour exams today...can't wait to go take a nap

[Joseph41]

Just finished two 3 hour exams today...can't wait to go take a nap

That's a bloody good effort. Nice work! Hope you enjoy your nap haha. 😴

[StudyBuddyKJ]

Hey guys! Now time for a massive update.

So yes, Trials are officially over! Before you ask why my trials finished so late, last Friday was technically my last exam (legal). I came after Wednesday (2 exams in one day, both 3 hours long). I had only a day gap to study and revise for Legal. I crammed the entire day, slept late, woke up early to study, only had a banana for breakfast and went off to do the exam. And you guessed what happened...I almost was close to passing out from exhaustion and anxiety within the exam. Instantly when I opened the booklet, I felt the facts trickling out from my head. Anxiety forced me to write whatever was in my head and head started hurting, my throat started to close up. Pretty soon I found my head leaning against the table as I put up my hand and told the supervisor that I didn't feel so good.

He led me out, and then I met with my Head Teacher of Welfare, and he was super kind to me about it. I started tearing up in front of him because I was so mentally and physically exhausted from having 4 consecutive trial exams in four days straight, and also because I was so anxious that I could barely remember the things I studied for the test. He took one look at me and was like, "there is no way I am letting you do the exam, you look terrible." he called my dad who picked me up, and I went home, ate cause I was weak, and then slept for 2-3 hours straight.


On the bright side, I was able to rejuvenate myself for the next three days. I studied as much as I physically could, and for the first time ever, went for a movie with my sister the day before the exam. I have never given myself a moment to chill right before a test, usually I would be cramming. but I guess it worked for me.

I finished the rest of the exam today, so finally I am officially done. It felt good to end things on a right note. I am so glad I told the teacher how I was feeling, instead of sucking it up and just getting it done. If I kept on continuing, I would have failed for sure. The only minor downside was that I had to study and keep up my motivation for the next three days. But weirdly enough, it didn't seem so bad. My mental strength kept me going and now I am chilling, so happy that they are over. Trials were the roughest period ever. I am really proud of myself for having gone through it only minorly scathed. I was able to handle a whole lot more than I thought I could, and I was a lot more prepared than I was for my half yearlies. Regardless of how my trial marks are, I would not stress about it. I am just happy I got through Trials and did the best I could with little to no regrets.


On a positive side note, I got into Macquarie via Global Leadership! I am so happy!!! Honestly, it doesn't even matter what my ATAR is, because either way I will be studying the course of my dreams without any stress at all. A lot of people I know talk really bad about Macquarie because it is not as highly ranked and prestigious as UNSW, hence why I have been a bit hesitant to tell people that Macquarie is sounding a lot more appealing to me
A- because it is closer and takes less travel time than UNSW

B- It has the major I want that UNSW doesn't have

C- Apparantly Macquarie is less stressful and more of a peaceful environment whilst UNSW is more competitive, IDK that is what my friends who go to Macquarie tell me


I feel like the main reason why I wanted to pick UNSW was because it is more prestigious, everyone I know is going there, and cause I like the campus (stupid reasons I know) And also cause it has high employment rates. I want to study business at university, and apparently those who go to UNSW have an edge and are more sought after than those who go to other unis. I have been told that a employer is more likely to pick someone who goes to UNSW than someone who went to Macquarie, because UNSW is better ranked. Is that true?

Can someone please give me advice on what you should consider when choosing a university? Cause seriously I have no clue on what to consider. 

[StudyBuddyKJ]

That's a bloody good effort. Nice work! Hope you enjoy your nap haha. 😴

Thank you!

[owidjaja]

On a positive side note, I got into Macquarie via Global Leadership! I am so happy!!! Honestly, it doesn't even matter what my ATAR is, because either way I will be studying the course of my dreams without any stress at all. A lot of people I know talk really bad about Macquarie because it is not as highly ranked and prestigious as UNSW, hence why I have been a bit hesitant to tell people that Macquarie is sounding a lot more appealing to me
A- because it is closer and takes less travel time than UNSW

B- It has the major I want that UNSW doesn't have

C- Apparantly Macquarie is less stressful and more of a peaceful environment whilst UNSW is more competitive, IDK that is what my friends who go to Macquarie tell me


I feel like the main reason why I wanted to pick UNSW was because it is more prestigious, everyone I know is going there, and cause I like the campus (stupid reasons I know) And also cause it has high employment rates. I want to study business at university, and apparently those who go to UNSW have an edge and are more sought after than those who go to other unis. I have been told that a employer is more likely to pick someone who goes to UNSW than someone who went to Macquarie, because UNSW is better ranked. Is that true?

Can someone please give me advice on what you should consider when choosing a university? Cause seriously I have no clue on what to consider.

Omg congratulations on getting the Macquarie Uni Global Leadership Program! I submitted my application for the 4th round on Sunday!

As for your uni questions, my philosophy is to research the uni as much as you can before deciding which uni. By this, I mean research what departments they specialise in because each department will have a different amount of funding. For example, UNSW is well-known for their engineering- someone told me they used to be an engineering school but then branched out into a university. As a result, this was perfect for my decision for going to UNSW because they're funding in engineering is massive. They offer "obscure" engineering fields (like aerospace) and they prioritise practical work, which is why they're also popular with science, especially medicine. On the other hand, USyd may be prestigious but if you look at their engineering buildings, the fact that they've updated the law libraries but their engineering buildings are still old really shows how much effort they put into engineering- none.

I guess my point is is that at the end of the day, universities are there to give you a piece of paper- a very expensive piece of paper. What matters is the work experience you get. I think the reason why a lot of people think UNSW has "higher employability" is because they prioritise work experience, but I'm not sure about business/commerce (apart from their extremely competitive co-op scholarship). The thing is, anyone can get a degree as long as you have money. What differentiates you from other candidates (when applying for a job) is how much experience you have. And personally, Macquarie Uni is a great place for that- I have heard that Macquarie Uni and UTS are really good with business. They have companies like Cochlear and I'm pretty sure Optus is also partnered with Macquarie Uni so you've got your work experience there!

Hope this helps you in some way

[fantasticbeasts3]

First, huge congrats for finishing your trials -- what an achievement! Hope you have a really awesome break, definitely well-deserved. :-) Next, congrats on getting into the Global Leadership Program!

In terms of employability and uni prestige, like owidjaja said, your experience is what matters. Pick up any internship you can get, whether it's paid or unpaid and chuck that on your resume. Prestige and good marks are only one part of employability. Sure, it might look better if you went to UNSW on paper but it's the skills that count. :-) And idk what your friends are telling you but I'm finding uni not that competitive lol but it's probably just me -- I don't compete with others, I compete against myself.

Have an awesome week!!

[paigek3]

Hey guys! Now time for a massive update.

So yes, Trials are officially over! Before you ask why my trials finished so late, last Friday was technically my last exam (legal). I came after Wednesday (2 exams in one day, both 3 hours long). I had only a day gap to study and revise for Legal. I crammed the entire day, slept late, woke up early to study, only had a banana for breakfast and went off to do the exam. And you guessed what happened...I almost was close to passing out from exhaustion and anxiety within the exam. Instantly when I opened the booklet, I felt the facts trickling out from my head. Anxiety forced me to write whatever was in my head and head started hurting, my throat started to close up. Pretty soon I found my head leaning against the table as I put up my hand and told the supervisor that I didn't feel so good.

He led me out, and then I met with my Head Teacher of Welfare, and he was super kind to me about it. I started tearing up in front of him because I was so mentally and physically exhausted from having 4 consecutive trial exams in four days straight, and also because I was so anxious that I could barely remember the things I studied for the test. He took one look at me and was like, "there is no way I am letting you do the exam, you look terrible." he called my dad who picked me up, and I went home, ate cause I was weak, and then slept for 2-3 hours straight.


On the bright side, I was able to rejuvenate myself for the next three days. I studied as much as I physically could, and for the first time ever, went for a movie with my sister the day before the exam. I have never given myself a moment to chill right before a test, usually I would be cramming. but I guess it worked for me.

I finished the rest of the exam today, so finally I am officially done. It felt good to end things on a right note. I am so glad I told the teacher how I was feeling, instead of sucking it up and just getting it done. If I kept on continuing, I would have failed for sure. The only minor downside was that I had to study and keep up my motivation for the next three days. But weirdly enough, it didn't seem so bad. My mental strength kept me going and now I am chilling, so happy that they are over. Trials were the roughest period ever. I am really proud of myself for having gone through it only minorly scathed. I was able to handle a whole lot more than I thought I could, and I was a lot more prepared than I was for my half yearlies. Regardless of how my trial marks are, I would not stress about it. I am just happy I got through Trials and did the best I could with little to no regrets.


On a positive side note, I got into Macquarie via Global Leadership! I am so happy!!! Honestly, it doesn't even matter what my ATAR is, because either way I will be studying the course of my dreams without any stress at all. A lot of people I know talk really bad about Macquarie because it is not as highly ranked and prestigious as UNSW, hence why I have been a bit hesitant to tell people that Macquarie is sounding a lot more appealing to me
A- because it is closer and takes less travel time than UNSW

B- It has the major I want that UNSW doesn't have

C- Apparantly Macquarie is less stressful and more of a peaceful environment whilst UNSW is more competitive, IDK that is what my friends who go to Macquarie tell me


I feel like the main reason why I wanted to pick UNSW was because it is more prestigious, everyone I know is going there, and cause I like the campus (stupid reasons I know) And also cause it has high employment rates. I want to study business at university, and apparently those who go to UNSW have an edge and are more sought after than those who go to other unis. I have been told that a employer is more likely to pick someone who goes to UNSW than someone who went to Macquarie, because UNSW is better ranked. Is that true?

Can someone please give me advice on what you should consider when choosing a university? Cause seriously I have no clue on what to consider.

Hey! Congrats on finishing trials! What a relief!

And congrats on the early offer too!

I am currently at Macquarie and overall I am absolutely LOVING it! I am doing a Bachelor of Laws and a Bachelor of Media and cannot speak about the law school highly enough - it is amazing. Media on the other hand is quite bland atm.

But seeing as though you're wanting to do a course completely different to mine - I will tell you about the whole Uni overall.

Campus - this was the selling point for me! I loved how it wasn't in the city, but was still close to things (especially Macquarie centre!) The campus is so peaceful because it has so much greenery and is truly a great place to relax before your next class! If you are interested in driving, there is an abundance of parking - both on campus that is affordable, and in the side streets which you can find free!

Work experience - I know every degree does not let you graduate unless you have done an internship of some sort (which is good!)

Timetables - I can make my timetable for Semester 1 and 2 next year from the end of October which is awesome!! They also tend to group faculty timetables together i.e. basically everyone I know was able to fit all their classes onto 1/2 days. Other unis may do this but I know my boyfriend at WSU has classes all over the place!

People - the people at Macquarie have been great to date, no-one cares about prestige which makes it less competitive and makes you feel a lot better about yourself, because that is what you should be doing at uni - focusing on yourself!

Library - I LOVEEEE the library! During HSC I was never one to study at a library, but Macquarie's is so big and nice that I always study well there

Food - what can I say - a big food court inside the uni AND Macquarie centre across the road with loads of student deals!

I know you are at Uni to get a degree, but of course, you want to make the most of having fun before entering the full working world! So, I am not sure if you know this or not, but as of next year UNSW is going to trimesters instead of semesters. You may want to look into this more, but basically it is a lot different to the usual two semesters of four units each that most other unis have. But, this could suit you - so like I said have a look into this. The main downside for everyone I know at UNSW is that their uni holidays wont be the same time as ours

Good luck with everything!