ADVANCED ENGLISH: The Crucible and Animal Farm Comparative Essay

[xxxonakillstreak]

Hey I do Advanced English and I will have to write this essay in class, and am given 40 minutes to complete 2 essays, so I will have 20 minutes to write this one essay.
My assessment is on Monday, so if you could give me feedback whenever you're free that would be great thanks
Thanks <33

[jasn9776]

Hi, I have read your essay. I felt like the expression was generally quite good and the ideas were easy to understand. However, i felt that the punctuation could be improved and the linking could be better. I did the crucible for power and politics last year.
Here is more detailed feedback:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EzuW8pATyH_ZCGA5czaNx8foNmVqgHdJikv7tK7tKW8/edit?usp=sharing

Hope that helps.

[xxxonakillstreak]

Hi, I have read your essay. I felt like the expression was generally quite good and the ideas were easy to understand. However, i felt that the punctuation could be improved and the linking could be better. I did the crucible for power and politics last year.
Here is more detailed feedback:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EzuW8pATyH_ZCGA5czaNx8foNmVqgHdJikv7tK7tKW8/edit?usp=sharing

Hope that helps.

I just realised I uploaded the wrong essay, sorry :/
I sent you a PM with the right essay if you would still be willing to give me feedback, thank you <3

[xxxonakillstreak]

Also I have updated the attachment to my actual essay, so if anyone else could give me feedback that would be helpful <3