Feedback on my argument analysis?

[neha.a_]

Hey, I was wondering if anyone could give me feedback on my argument analysis? I've written three body paragraphs in relation to an opinion piece concerning wedding photography and how it is redundant, I'd appreciate any feedback. Cheers. Also is this good writing for year 11 or nah?


From the outset of Chiffon Blue’s wedding blog, the piece adopts an amiable and colloquial tone, she addresses the audience as ‘ladies’ suggesting that her target demographic is specifically millennial up and coming brides. “Pics or it didn’t happen?” This repetitive theme is the first argument Chiffon blue presents. When faced with an outrageous claim of wedding photography being necessary, she abruptly imbeds a rhetorical question used in jest as a counter to this claim and attempts to trigger an internal response from the reader. However, the integral notion that Chiffon suggests with the title of her blog is that the media is necessary to our fundamental existence. She expresses her thoughts through simple syntactic sentences: “have you ever been to a wedding where you weren’t bored out of your mind…?” The colloquialism ‘bored out of your mind” and use of second person perspective indicates Chiffon likely has a low-level education and seeks to influence likeminded people, or uses this particular phrasing to appeal to the lay person. The interrogative syntax in conjunction with the inclusive terms used, evoke a sense of inclusion versus exclusion for the readers, in that if you don’t agree with her claim then you’re not ‘one of her people.’ Questions like this challenge readers to provide a suitable or adequate response, making them reflect or analyze.

She describes wedding photographs as “awkward” and “cheesy”, these corresponding phrases both have very blatant negative connotations, the writer uses those words to show that these people should be judged harshly, coercing the reader’s opinion to match the writer’s point of view and subsequently pressuring the reader to dislike people who act this way. Chiffon Blue then employs an appeal to contemporaries alongside a cliché, “so maybe our generation could use a little more living in the moment…less obsessing over…. the right shot.” This challenges common practice and custom, thus positioning the reader into questioning their traditions. The accompanying visual of a newly wedded couple embracing one another, surrounded by family and friends, all individually taking their own pictures of the memorable day, symbolize the peace and enjoyment of this important date without any “creepy strangers” or in other words; the photographer.   

Blue’s style then shifts tone to highlight the financial burden of hiring a wedding photographer. She presents an alarmist, hyperbolic statistic, “an average weeding photographer could charge between $2000 and $9000!” The hyperbole serves to intensify the statistic which adds factual weight to the argument, the reader will feel they cannot argue with the statistic She then goes onto shame and embarrass individuals who have done this, calling them “…totally cray” by extension, labelling them as “insane,” the term serves to stimulate an emotional reaction in the reader. She later appeals to hip-pocket nerve with another rhetorical question: “Can you imagine spending thousands of dollars for a USB drive of pictures?” This is Blue’s way of making the reader feel as if their finances are under attack, that this particular event will take a severe toll on their income and spending power, and in turn the reader feels that the author is looking out for their best interests.