Apologies, I am so bad at language analysis....was hoping someone can give me tips and advice on how to improve it? Criticisms appreciated.
This was in the Insight 2010 paper. And was done in under an hour. Sorry it's short. Thank you!
“Too young, too soon” is an opinion piece written by Michael Grey, published in a city newspaper. The writer addresses the issue of the alarming and further growing trend of young people attempting death defying acts. He contends that there should be something done to ensure better safety for teenagers, that the authorities should recognise the need for improved regulations, and age restrictions. This piece targets teenagers and parents, specifically those whose children who perform these dangerous acts. Presented and maintained throughout the piece, Michael Grey uses a strong authoritive and concerned tone to conjure feelings of fear and worry in the audience, especially for the parents as the dangerous trend could influence their own children.
The accompanying visual depicts a single small vessel, isolated in the vastness of the sea. The isolation of the vessel conveys the feeling of vulnerability which translates to the vulnerability that teenagers are subjected to when performing these dangerous acts. This elicits heightened fear in the readers, the parents in particular as they are responsible for their children and are concerned for their safety. The photograph presents a visually explicit link to desolateness in which some extreme sports entail and further restates the writer’s point of view of its impact on young people. This displays to the audience through the appeal to the safety of children, “the child is confronted by the emptiness and immensity of the ocean” invoking emotions of alarm and apprehension in the parents, in what the act involves and its impact mentally on teenagers. The overcast and dark presentation of the clouds above the vessel forebodes danger to those attempting extreme adventure and supports the negative connotations “emptiness and immensity” used in describing these death defying acts in which the parental and young audience would become more cautious about these sports.
The writer then leads into the article, using emotional appeals of the safety of people and to authority with the government’s lack of concern for the wellbeing of the country’s children. By outlining the aspects that directly affect the young who attempt the stunts, “apart from the physical dangers involved, such intense loneliness and awareness of vulnerability can be very harmful for young minds”, Grey invokes strong emotional alertness from the parental audience as they would want the best for their children. Emotional appeals are further enhanced through the use of strong emotional language such as “vulnerability” and “very harmful” which makes teenagers feel more aware of the potential impacts physically and mentally if they were to attempt the act. As the opinion piece continues to unfold, the writer reveals evidence that helps add weight to his contention. “In 2009, a Dutch placed 13 year old Laura Dekkar under state care to prevent her from embarking on a two year voyage” the writer compares the preferred actions taken on daredevils by international governments with Australia’s lack of responsibility and actions to enhance the wellbeing of children. The audience of teenagers and parents is left to question the amount of protection the government provides for children and their lack intervention in order to protect those possible who are attempting the daredevil stunts.
Overall, the opinion piece by Michael Grey positions the reader well to agree with his contention that there needs to be more done to protect the children from attempting life endangering stunts. He uses a vast range of persuasive techniques such as emotive language, evidence, emotional appeals to the safety of people, teenagers in particular and to authority to be more concerned about the wellbeing of their country’s children. These persuasive techniques mainly elicited emotions of fear, trepidation, concern of the wellbeing of their children from the parental audience and disappointment in the government response to the issue. With the inclusion of a visual of an isolated sailing vessel positioned in the vastness of the ocean, it further emphasises the negative impact daredevil acts can have on a young mind and thus, present a pessimistic view of the acts to the audience. The writer concludes his piece by restating his contention and stance, to allow the reader to be fully positioned and acknowledge the contention and issue, “this behaviour has to stop and the authorities must recognise the need for better regulations, sensible age restrictions and more concern for the wellbeing of children.”
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