My context essay piece which I plan to regurgitate in a SAC, critique and grading would be greatly appreciated as I have my SAC this week!
‘Being different almost always means struggling to belong’
‘Man may like to go alone for a walk, but he has a difficult time standing alone in the crowd.’ The words of philosopher George Santayana epitomises the struggle of attempting to belong to groups while exerting one’s individuality. The need to belong is an intrinsic motivation in all humans to feel accepted and valued by others in society. However, this endeavour is difficult; the perception of being different from others runs the risk of being excluded by groups. Consequently, being aware of these differences allows individuals to react accordingly in order to be accepted by a particular group or society as a whole.
Discrepancies in values, beliefs and aspirations between oneself and one’s family can cause struggles to belong in the family unit. Familial expectations are a source of one’s own aspirations and goals. The influence a family bond exerts on an individual’s life is strong – blood being thicker than water – but those same bonds can be entangling and oppressive. An individual who does not conform to the expectations set out for them may jeopardize their filial relationship with their parents. For example, in ‘Five ways to disappoint your Vietnamese mother’, Diana Nguyen woefully acknowledges that she ‘was a disappointment’ in her mother’s eyes due to her aspiration of becoming an actor at the expense of not conforming to her mother’s expectation of becoming a doctor. Immense courage is required to break out of familial expectations and stand up for her divergent aspirations. However, Nguyen’s resulting estrangement from her family causes her to feel a profound sense of rejection. Likewise, the struggle to belong in one’s family is highlighted in ‘Conversations with my parents’, where Oanh Tran feels detached from her father because she ‘was a dutiful daughter, even though [her] values were not his’. The notion of struggling to belong to the family because of differing values is also illustrated in the autobiography of the famous evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins. Dawkins was raised by Anglican parents, who disregarded the theory of evolution and firmly believed in Creationism. As he was exposed to new information in his adolescent years, his personal beliefs agreed more with evolution, causing a division between his parents and himself. Thus, holding different values, beliefs and aspirations to one’s own family will always involve some degree of struggle.
Furthermore, differences in an individual’s appearance may cause oneself to be excluded by others, making it difficult to be accepted. Taunts and negative judgement of an individual’s appearance calls attention to this difference and can lead to discrimination. For example, the story of Mia Francis in ‘Are you different?’ describes how her adoptive Filipino son endured exclusion and racial insults such as ‘flat-nose’ and ‘dirty black nigger’ in a town where ‘a dark-skinned Asian child’ was a rarity. Reoccurring forms of racial discrimination may induce an internalising hatred against a culture that recoils at difference. A paradox arises when the differences in physical appearance causes an individual to join ethnic gangs who are motivated by a common hatred for others, where ‘the ‘blacks’ hated the ‘gooks’ [and] the ‘whites’ hated the ‘blacks’ and the ‘gooks’, a statement made by Emily J. Sun in ‘These are the photographs we take’. Thus, it is harder to achieve a sense of belonging if the individual’s mind is focused on being different from others, which is compounded by negative experiences. However, an individual may overcome this exclusion from groups by altering one’s own perception of themself. In the story of ‘The face in the mirror’, Blossom Beeby admits: ‘for much of my childhood, my Asian-ness was pushed to a crevice in the back of my mind.’ This altered perception allowed her to acquire a stronger sense of belonging with her Anglo-Saxon family and friends. Thus, an individual’s perceived appearance can be an influential factor in determining whether one is accepted or rejected in a group.
Having aspects of one’s identity that are different from the norms of the community can also alienate individuals. Cultural differences between oneself and one’s community may result in isolation. For example, in the story ‘Take me away please’, Lily Chan discusses how the two Chinese families who run take-away restaurants are isolated from the community, clinging to each other ‘in this small, prejudiced town’ because ‘all [they] had was each other.’ Similarly, the story ‘Sticks and stones and such-like’ describes how Sunil Badami’s traditional Indian name was the subject of mockery by his peers, creating a situation where he felt excluded from his peer group. Likewise, the idea that being different from mainstream society causes hardship is succinctly illustrated in the film ‘Gattaca’ by Andrew Niccol. In a society where genetic perfection is the norm, the main character, Vincent Freeman, is born without the help of genetic engineering and is discriminated against by society due to his genetic flaws. He is consequently classified as a lower class citizen and is estranged from society. The notion of struggling to belong because of one’s dissimilarity can also be exemplified by the US military introducing a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy that forbids homosexuals from being open about their sexuality. The decision was designed to promote uniformity amongst soldiers, as it was feared that anyone who was different from the norm would ignite unrest. Many homosexuals were subsequently forced to live behind a ‘mask’ if they wished to remain in the army. Those who openly expressed their identity were excluded from the group by being decommissioned. Consequently, distinct aspects of one’s identity that are not similar to the majority will often result in a struggle to belong.
However, being different at the expense of struggling to belong does not always have negative implications. Quite the contrary, individuals whose ideals and ways of thinking are different – regardless of alienation from society – bestow society with innovative ideas, trends, philosophies and theories. These individuals uphold identical values to those expressed in ‘The Courage of Soldiers’ where Pauline Nguyen’s father states ‘Aim high [and] hold strong ambitions for your future.’ Revolutionary thinkers and their ideas – from the preaching’s of Jesus Christ to Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution; Aristotle’s philosophy to Isaac Newton’s laws of motion; have been persecuted by those who have conformed to the norms of society in their respective eras. In the end, their divergent ways of thinking have been embraced by humanity altogether.
In essence, although there are a plethora of facets in an individual’s identity, it is essentially our uniqueness and therefore our differences from others that contribute to the inevitable struggle of belonging. However, by considering that differences in our way of thinking may help in the advancement of our society, then the idea that being different is a beneficial characteristic of oneself is logical – a notion illuminated by theoretical physicist Albert Einstein’s words, ‘when you are being true to yourself, you bring something valuable along with you.’
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