[English] Context - Whose Reality

[cranberry]

This is my first attempt at whose reality. I'm going to do a completely different style of essay in the exam, but for the sac at school we have to stick with the stupid text (shark net). They give us no room to explore (if u catch my drift wood).

this piece has to basically be like Robert Drewe's perception of Eric Cooke....i've tried my best, but this style is so hard for me..

Prompt: 'Childhood constructs our adult reality' ~500 words (LoL...)

The world suddenly seemed small once he sat - motionless, waiting, sitting there, staring straight ahead, into nothingness. His face was blank - there was nothing there apart from a violent, calmness in his tired-looking eyes. He never spoke. He never said a word. It wasn't normal. It was troubling. Every day at the stop, he'd quietly approach. His slight limp, as if he'd been hit by a car, agitated me. He'd sit to the left, but too close to the middle. Too close to me. It didn't feel right - no one sat that close. At first, I didn't take notice. I didn't think he was there for any other purpose, other than what I was there for. When the bus had arrived, I'd get on. I didn't understand it. He'd stay at the stop - sitting, motionless.

His childhood was one of violence and dissent. In early years, he had no friends. Other parents kept their kids away from him. They knew what his parents were like. Through latter school he'd get into fights with other students. In year 6, he beat his teacher, which led to the principal beating him; he chose to leave school, against his mother's will. His father, an alcoholic, was in prison. He was troubled.

He always watched from his bedroom window, the kids playing on the streets

One night at home his mother's boyfriend beat him. He'd walked the streets at night, following what had happened, carrying nothing but a small bucket. It was his outlet for all the anger he had gathered. He'd walk up toward the freeway overpass, collecting small rocks along the way and would throw them at passing cars. During the day he'd sleep to avoid communication. He became increasingly disconnected with "normal" life, more or less, nocturnal. After killing his mother's boyfriend he never returned home.

The second body was found by police after days of searching the local river for the first. People lived in fear of the anonymous "Night Walker".  Many were forced to stay indoor at night. The newspapers dubbed him the "Night Walker" as he seemed to appear at night. His limp was also identified through his recent breaking and enterings for food, cash and drink.

After multiple enocunters, I was repelled, too afraid to stare. The next day I didn't sit down. It felt safer, more comforting to stand behind the seat. Whilst waiting for the bus, I watched him. He turned. His eyes caught mine. I turned away, like i'd never been staring, but knew he was watching. The bus arrived - I got on. I never saw him again.

Written explanation

The purpose of this piece is to reveal someone's perspective of a person who looks like a felon. Through a first-person's perspective of the protagonist, the story shows what the narrator is thinking and feeling, while revealing the thought-to-be story of the protagonist. There is no specific audience targeted. Through a partly-fictional experience, I have engaged with the prompt through a fictional character. This piece is linked to 'Shark Net' as Eric Cooke's life was from the perspective of Robert Drewe, therefore, was equally fictional.

[cranberry]

i got 25/30 for the above practice piece ill be happy if i can pull a 25+/30 for context SAC, but need practice!

Would really like some feedback if posible before monday on this piece. I know I'm weaker at persuasive writing than expository so any help would be very appreciated! :angel:

(again its a ~500 word practice essay so don't worry about the length

'Money has the largest influence on your reality'

"Lack of money is the root of all evil." - George Bernard Shaw. Power, greed, death, hate; money is a disastrous invention which mankind has used, in vein, toward others. Much havoc in this world has ignited from sources of money, such as oil. The source of war, the funding of nuclear discoveries, the price of life over death? Yes, money even has the potential to determine who lives and dies. But do we really care about death? According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day from poverty. It is fact, yet most of us disregard it. Therefore death cannot be our largest influence. I believe money has the largest influence on our reality. There is no doubt that money saves lives and can bring happiness. We, as humans, have irreversibly evolved to depend on money and cannot live without it. It is now a vital element toward surviving. Moreover, we now set money and wealth as life goals. It is by far, our largest influence.

We all sometimes consider world peace in our prayers (especially the Miss Universe contestants). Even world leaders devote their lives toward achieving world peace, and we all applaud them for there courage, don't we? 1.62 trillion dollars is the amount spent annually on military worldwide, and this number is rising - well then, world peace anyone? To put this amount into perspective, around 1.4 trillion dollars was the amount that Europe received during the Global Financial Crisis in order to bail it out!

Although money has a positive effect on many lives, such as through charities - providing vital materials for people in poverty, it also has a large influence on "painful" realities - Eric Cooke's reality for example. In our current society, suicide is becoming a more and more common resort by many. According to World Psychiatry, there are an estimated 10 to 20 million attempted suicides every year worldwide. Addictions are aided by money. Whether it be for drugs, alcohol or gambling, it can lead to self-harm. Out state-of-mind is crucial to our perception of "reality", hence influences, such as money toward addictions, can be very influential (although negatively) for those who need it.

However, as our realities in each of our lives are different, we all cannot possibly be influenced mainly by money. For example, someone who has been brought up in a wealthy environment, has learned to disregard the importance of or the impact that money has. Unless, sometime in their lifetime, they deplete their bank accounts or their savings, they will never know, and therefore, will never be influenced by money. "Money is only important when you don't have any" - Sting.  Our journey for self-achievement is our own reality, whether money is important or not; for most, money is a sign of success.

Written explanation:
This piece is to persuade readers to agree that money is the largest influence on the majority of our realities, for better or worse. It is a persuasive speech directed at those who don't agree that money has the largest influence, especially many who think that death has the largest influence on our reality. I've used various key quotes and statistics, which were eye-catching for me and would be toward readers as well. One of Robert Drewe's most significant influences toward his reality was his mother's death, therefore i have disagreed with that point of view to opt with money as the main influence.