This was sent to me by a friend. Hope you enjoy!!
Australian Government –Australian Taxation Office
Stimulus Payment Information.
“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and SA format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgin.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you use this money to purchase a high-definition TV set or some such thing, thus stimulating the economy.
Q.But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A.Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend the money on Kmart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on petrol it will go t the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the economy.
We need to keep that money here in Australia. You can keep the money in Australia by spending it at garage sales, going to a cricket match or footy game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses that may still be owned by Aussies.
Thank you all Australians,
Your mate,
K.RUDD.
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