Hey guys, so I've moved through mild to high depression, it all started when I was 15 and now It's been getting much worse.. it seems like nothing in this life makes me happy, has anyone ever felt this feeling before? Not matter what, it just seems that nothing really satisfies me, has anyone here felt that way before, if so how did you deal with it? It's pretty much made me dysfunctional for Year 12. Yes I know that I should see a therapist or psychiatrist but the waiting list is very long and I'm afraid it's gonna take a while before I see one. Anyone had the same sort of feelings where nothing makes you happy, you hate yourself, etc. So far the only time I remember being extremely happy for the last past 2 Years is when I became a hardcore Christian, i don't know why but there was this blissful and euphoric feeling about it, but since then I've doubted God.. and don't believe anymore..
Shouldn't probably post this stuff on an educational forum but I realize that there are many people who are smart and studying Medicine and stuff so I thought it was relevant.
First know, you're not some highly unusual outliers. A lot of people suffer from various health troubles in their life and psychological ones are no exception. They're a problem in the way a diabetic with a faulty pancreas has a problem. It's a biological issue like any other illness, not many people would tell a diabetic "well...whats will all this insulin stuff...stop babying yourself..". So, first know, whilst it i *could be* a legitimate problem, its
not your fault.
I'm in no way shape or form a psychologist and i would be *
extremely* extremely
careful of
labeling yourself as depressed. Sometimes even just that label can do more harm than good. I won't even say you're depressed, because, to be frank, we just don't know.
It needs to be properly diagnosed and it really is in your best interests to stop labeling it and thinking of it that way untill you actually do get a proper diagnosis.
From what you've describe and from your words only, you dont
seem to be majorly depressed, based on the
limited knowledge of these things i have. Again, not a professional and i'm not saying you do or don't have anything, i'm just going along with your words. People with major depression, towards the far end, usually have an extreme amount of difficulty functioning, sometimes to the point of
impaired movement. If it was that far towards the extreme end, i doubt you could even summon up the strength to write this, so, thats the good news.
For a lot of people, depression isn't actually feeling sad per se, its feeling almost nothing, feeling empty. You might not be depressed, you may just have a slightly more negative outlook than other people and this can be addressed with psychotherapy. You could just be sad rather than depressed. You could actually be depressed, either having a mild form or
dysthymia or it could actually be more serious than you let on. I'm being very cautious of telling you too much here because i dont want to unduly influence you and i dont want you to read a list of symptoms and automatically self-diagnose as having something you might not have.
How have you been sleeping lately? If its not well, that might be an indication.
A lot of studies have shown religious people are actually happier and cope better with disruptive life events, perhaps your loss of religion was almost like the loss of a coping mechanism for you. Maybe you haven't yet filled the gap. Is there anyone you can talk to about how you feel, friends or family? I really would encourage you to. You dont have to totally spill the beans but it really does help. You might also like to keep a diary either on paper or just on the computer and write about how you feel, maybe explore why you feel that way.
The good news is things get better and no pain lasts for ever. Churchil said "If you're going through hell, keep going"; Really, keep in mind, there is light on the other end of the tunnel. I know things seem shit now but just battle through it. A lot of depressed people actually had less than optimal or abnormal thought patterns before becoming depressed, i wont sugar coat that. However, most people do come out the other end and those that did, they spent time thinking about their problem, thinking about why they feel that way, what makes them feel that way, their outlook on life and how they react to events. Whilst it is hell, a lot of them came out the other end a better, more well adapted person. They realised some of their faulty thinking patterns and changed them. They came out better and you can too.
If you talk to your GP, which i recommend you do, you can get 12 + a few more sessions with a psychologist under Medicare, there may be a partial fee involved or none, depending on whether they bulk bill or not. I've got no personal experience with this myself so you might want to double check and ask your GP (more info :
http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/psychologist ).
Drugs can also help. I know they sound scary but if you're as bad and nonfunctional as say you are, i think its worth talking to your doctor about them. A lot of people take them for a couple months, in combination with psychotherapy and come out better. These two things work in synergy and have been proven to produce better outcomes together rather than doing one or the other alone. If you actually do have depression, which isn't clear and yet to be established, the drugs will help smooth things out a bit. They'll allow you to function a bit better, see the light from the dark and work on your thought patterns. Again, i've had no personal experience with prescription drugs of this nature but it is worth talking to your GP about them.