Context Introduction Quick Marking Help Click Me Please :) ~~~~~~~

[KevinooBz]

Hey guys, I have my context SAC tomorrow and I have this quick intro I wrote up a few minutes ago. Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated before 2am tomorrow morning. The context is genetic engineering (I think?LOL) if that changes anything, any structural or grammatical flaws you spot out could greatly help me.

Mankind has strived to further advance our society to achieve a state of utopia. Advancements in genetic technology have illuminated hopes of a perfect world free from diseases and imperfections. Our different perceptions of the benefits gained from these developments have led to conflicts where various groups in society have battle the value of this technology. Consequently, one of the ideas that have been explored is that genetic technology is destructive for humanity and ‘erodes the sanctity of human life’. Furthermore many would argue that the implications of genetic engineering would be detrimental to our society as rifts would occur in social standings. Through different sources this idea is epitomised, particularly in the Andrew Niccol's movie Gattaca.

[brenden]

Gattaca was a mad movie.

 Consequently, one of the ideas that have been explored is that genetic technology is destructive for humanity and ‘erodes the sanctity of human life’.
This seems pretty blatant. In the sense "OH HEY EXAMINER LOOK AT ONE OF THE IDEAS I WILL EXPLORE THANK YOU BYE NOW"
I don't write these pieces but from lurking the forums I don't think you're meant to mention the text at all in the intro. Grammar is fine. There isn't anything else I think you could work on a day before the SAC.

[KevinooBz]

Gattaca was a mad movie.

 Consequently, one of the ideas that have been explored is that genetic technology is destructive for humanity and ‘erodes the sanctity of human life’.
This seems pretty blatant. In the sense "OH HEY EXAMINER LOOK AT ONE OF THE IDEAS I WILL EXPLORE THANK YOU BYE NOW"
I don't write these pieces but from lurking the forums I don't think you're meant to mention the text at all in the intro. Grammar is fine. There isn't anything else I think you could work on a day before the SAC.

Alright thanks a lot for that tip Brenden, I'll just totally scrap the inclusion of the source name. So should I go elaborate further on that sentence and try and gradually work it in?

[brenden]

Yeah working it in/blending it in more would improve it IMO (which isn't worth much here, really)

[KevinooBz]

Yeah working it in/blending it in more would improve it IMO (which isn't worth much here, really)

Alright, not much left to do except look at some more articles. Thanks for the help Brenden, much appreciated.

[brenden]

No sweat man, good luck on your SAC.