Introduction for I+B context piece

[dfgjgddjidfg]

Could some please tell me how to improve this introduction for the prompt 'sometimes others know us better than we know ourselves'
As Mark Twain put it, "Know thyself—and then thou wilt despise thyself.” We will never truly discover who we are, but with time we will discover more about our multi-faceted selves. Our identity is very complex and according to Dr Freud, we can’t look at ourselves in the cruel light of objectivity and so we protect ourselves with perceptual blind spots and distort how we see ourselves. Another person, who does not have a stake in our ego, can perceive and judge us more objectively than we ourselves can. They can learn things about us which we choose to hide from ourselves or which we cannot see. However, we have access to our internal thoughts and feelings that nobody else can access. These provide us with the motivations for our actions and form a large part of us. We ultimately understand ourselves more than anyone else does.

And im also having difficulty incorporating GUAinA and Skin into the body graphs. does anyone have any ideas on which parts of these texts i could incorporate into my piece

[billyjackson768]

Sounds pretty good content wise. The flow of the last few sentences seems a little weird to me though. for instance I would probably drop the "We" off of the beginning of the last one and maybe try and reword things a little to link ideas more smoothly.

This is something I have trouble with all the time.

I have no idea about your context or the texts your are writing on. But another thing I try to do is allude to what I am going to be writing on without outright listing my paragraphs. Have you got a rough plan your writing this to?

[Felicity Wishes]

Good into. Is the Dr Freud bit a direct quote or a summary of something he said? If it's a quote, you should put the quotation marks in.

[dfgjgddjidfg]

Thanks, yeh it is a quote. I was planning to write about it being impossible to view ourselves objectively for the 1st body paragraph but i dont know how to incorporate ideas from growing up asian in Australia and skin into it.Any ideas?

[werdna]

Avoid the word 'things' in a formal essay, avoid contractions, build on the complexity of your ideas and last sentence is too short, it needs more added to it.