Login

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

December 08, 2025, 07:46:39 pm

Author Topic: Oral presentation help  (Read 1742 times)  Share 

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

pinklemonade

  • Victorian
  • Trendsetter
  • **
  • Posts: 135
  • Respect: 0
  • School Grad Year: 2015
Oral presentation help
« on: November 29, 2014, 09:55:47 pm »
+1
Hey! I was wondering if anyone could give me any feedback to my intro for my oral presentation?

In 2011, a 63-year-old Southern California man was traveling with a trunk full of explosives in his vehicle with the intention of blowing up one of the nation's largest mosques, where over 500 people had gathered for a funeral. Fortunately, whatever damage he was planning to do was averted, thanks to authorities. But the mainstream media completely ignored this story. Now, just imagine the same thing had happened except the perpetrator was a Muslim man.  His mug shot would be on every TV screen, every hour. Now what does that tell you about our media culture?
Goodmorning fellow classmates,
Today I will be talking about how Muslims are being portrayed unfairly in the Australian media. Not only has the Islamic community been stereotyped as terrorists after this event, but there is also a constant identification of race or religion when it comes to Muslims in the news, even when it is not relevant to the story. There has also been the debate in the media, which has been going on for over a decade as to whether the burqa should be banned, as people find it ‘a threat to society.’
"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard"

2015: English [??] | Business Management [??] | Visual Communication and Design [??] | Mathematical Methods (CAS) [??] | Specialist Mathematics [??]

meganrobyn

  • Victorian
  • Forum Leader
  • ****
  • Posts: 836
  • Respect: +62
Re: Oral presentation help
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2014, 12:37:07 am »
+6
I personally don't love the 'Today I will be talking about..." etc - I think there are more subtle and pro-sounding ways you can manage that segue. Ditto with the "Good morning..." break. It's too abrupt a transition. Just move from your anecdote/event into what you find interesting about it or the point you want to make about it.

Also, it would be better to begin with an Australian example of Christian privilege/selective coverage/media bias, as it is a comment about Australian coverage you're going to be going on to make.

In terms of your argument, I think you should reframe it as an argument you want to make or an idea about society you want to propose, rather than "talking about" something - this is very passive and general, and doesn't have a clear object. What question do you want to ask your audience about us as people, as a community? Do you have a specific suggestion about our mindset, and what we might be unconsciously motivated by? Make the end-goal more specific (even if you choose to persuade your audience of it in a more subtle manner); at the moment it feels like you identified the issue you were interested in, but then stopped there rather than clarifying exactly what it was you wanted to say about it. What you want to say, your personal deductions, are always far, far more interesting than facts and events; these supplement, illustrate and justify your thoughts. But I'm more interested in hearing your analysis of how, why, etc.
[Update: full for 2018.] I give Legal lectures through CPAP, and am an author for the CPAP 'Legal Fundamentals' textbook and the Legal 3/4 Study Guide.
Available for private tutoring in English and Legal Studies.
Experience in Legal 3/4 assessing; author of Legal textbook; degrees in Law and English; VCE teaching experience in Legal Studies and English. Legal Studies [50] English [50] way back when.
Good luck!

pinklemonade

  • Victorian
  • Trendsetter
  • **
  • Posts: 135
  • Respect: 0
  • School Grad Year: 2015
Re: Oral presentation help
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2014, 06:08:03 pm »
+1
I've finished writing my oral and at the moment its too long. I was hoping if someone could please read and provide feedback on my work, and tell me what is unnecessary (aka what i should take out)
Any help would be much appreciated!

Muslims are portrayed unfairly in the media

In 2011, a 63-year-old Southern California man was traveling with a trunk full of explosives in his vehicle with the intention of blowing up one of the nation's largest mosques, where over 500 people had gathered for a funeral. Fortunately, whatever damage he was planning to do was averted, thanks to authorities. But the mainstream media completely ignored this story. Now, just imagine the same thing had happened except the perpetrator was a Muslim man.  His mug shot would be on every TV screen, every hour. Now what does that tell you about our media culture?

The media are the key influencers of public opinion of Muslims, and have portrayed negative representations and stereotypes of these people with political and media agenda in mind. Muslims have been portrayed unfairly in the media on many occasions. Not only has the Islamic community been stereotyped as terrorists through events such as the Gulf War and the 9/11 attacks, but the media has also been portraying Islam as a whole negatively, because of the acts of a small number of Muslim extremists, such as ISIS. There has also been the constant debate in the media, which has been going on for over a decade now, as to whether the burqa should be banned, as people find it ‘a threat to society.’ In a largely Christian society this hardly seems the fair attitude to have towards a minority and seemingly marginalized group. Yet it is a growing problem that has, and will continue to have devastating effects on Australia’s Muslim community.

It is no secret that the media shapes public opinion and covers realities by their censorship. The emerging picture of Islam in the press is less clear-cut than often assumed. An example of the media filtering the news to the public in order to give Muslims a negative image is when Australia became involved in the 1991 Gulf War. The media coverage in Australia largely ignored the destruction and loss that had occurred in Iraq, by simply focusing on the loss of American soldiers. This completely biased coverage provoked a wave of bitter anti-Arab sentiment, which inevitably resulted in violent, physical attacks against Muslims, and vandalisms against their homes, schools and mosques. The September 11 attacks also provided the Australian government with the opportunity to promote the notion that Australia was under threat from terrorist attacks by Muslims. This allowed them to claim that the current government was the only one that could keep the nation safe.   These attacks also continued giving Muslims a negative reputation with the repetition of a single image of Palestinians allegedly rejoicing the tragedy of September 11 . Australian media’s repetition of this image essentially led the public to believe that all Muslims approved of these violent actions.

One cannot deny that on many occasions some Muslims are found involved in terrorist activities, such as ISIS. It is because of events like these that ultimately people blame Islam as a religion of grave terror and bloodshed. However the media, has manipulated, twisted and abused Islam’s name to portray it as intolerable and frightening. However what some people don’t understand is that there is an IMMENSE difference between an extremist terrorist group, and a religion. I suppose most people are familiar with the Ku Klux Klan, or at the very least, are aware that they were an extremist Christian group in America who twisted the meaning of Bible passages and the Lord’s words to justify carrying out violent acts of racism and white supremacy. Even today, they still exist, and inflict violence and racist acts upon innocent civilians. Sounds awfully similar to the situation with ISIS, right? But the media is carrying out a disgustingly inaccurate portrayal, and it is an injustice to those who peacefully practice Islam in their daily lives. Imagine if suddenly the media started portraying Christianity as violent, frightening and a breeding ground for terrorism. You would probably laugh, and think that this is ludicrous, because it is. Most of you, regardless of your stance on the ISIS issue, are probably smart enough to know that the KKK are in NO WAY a representation of Christianity. So why is the public allowing the media to manipulate them into believing that the existence, actions and beliefs of ONE extremist group in 2014 are a representation of an ENTIRE religion, which has been practiced around the world as peacefully as Christianity, for thousands of years?

Statistics show only 2.2% of the Australian population is Muslim. This means that an even smaller fraction actually wears the burqa. But in the world of news, burqas are everywhere, and are considered a threat to society. The debate as to whether the burqa should be banned has risen once again after Tony Abbott revealed in a news conference he finds it confronting and wishes it wasn’t worn. If it is because the dress conceals things, then the same argument could be made about many other forms of loose clothing. So where do we draw the line? Who determines whether one's attire is too loose to be considered safe? The point is that if someone wants to conceal something in their dress, no ban on the burqa is going to prevent this. Then also comes the issue of identification of the individual. It is understandable that at various times and in various places facial identification may be necessary, so the answer is simple: ask women to show their faces when identification is needed. This is the current practice where these women pass through customs and security checks at our airports. Common sense prevails as Muslim women understand and appreciate that in circumstances where their identity needs to be verified they have to remove their face covering. So instead of ridiculing and degrading these women because of their faith, we need to learn and accept their beliefs as they do with ours.

The media’s influence on the formation of public opinion is blaringly obvious through the perceptions we have formed of Australian Muslims. Through the negative representations and stereotypes the media depicts to us, Australians have associated Muslims with the likes of terrorists and religious fanatics and fundamentalists. Australia has isolated this minority group like no other, justifying this by claiming that Muslims simply do not fit in with the Australian way of life. This has resulted in acts of violence and vilification towards Muslims, which has had devastating effects both physically and psychologically. The negative representation of Muslims in Australian media has essentially led to how the religion of Islam is perceived. In a country that claims to be multicultural and religiously diverse, what is most surprising is our unwillingness to learn more of this religion and become more accepting of it and its followers.
"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard"

2015: English [??] | Business Management [??] | Visual Communication and Design [??] | Mathematical Methods (CAS) [??] | Specialist Mathematics [??]

stephgreggxxoo

  • Victorian
  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Respect: 0
  • School Grad Year: 2015
Re: Oral presentation help
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2014, 09:04:01 pm »
0
I think it's great, you might want to read over it and erase anything you are feeling that you have already said, unless your persuasive technique is repetition other than that make sure to use multimedia to make your presentation more interesting good luck hah Ive only just started mine :)
2013: Unit 1 Business Management
2014: Unit 1/2 - Accounting|Info Tech|Studio Arts|English|Math Methods CAS and Unit 3/4 Business Management
2015: Unit 3/4 Accounting|IT Apps|Studio Arts|English|Math Methods CAS
Atar: 82+