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Q: Whether motivated by need, wonder or curiosity, discovery has the power to be transformative”. How accurately does this statement reflect the view of discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?
Discovery significantly has the power to be transformative when motivated by need and is the process by which one’s life is enriched or challenged. (Nice! Just a note: you are allowed to discuss the prominence of need as a motivator for discovery. However, make sure you address wonder and curiosity as well. Answer the question in full!) Discovery takes a transformative process influencing the values and perception of individuals, groups and the broader world, as demonstrated in William Shakespeare’s play “The Tempest” (1610) and Stephen Chbosky coming of age epistolary novel “The Perks of being a Wallflower” (1999). Both texts use a range of language features, forms and contextual background. To depict the transformation of the individuals as they reflect on themselves and learn to forgive. Due to their discoveries being evoked by need, which varies according to their context and values. (I think this is very effective as an introduction; it’s concise and your points are addressed clearly throughout. Make sure you’re addressing the question in its entirety. Here, you will need to discuss how need, wonder AND curiosity are portrayed within the text. But you may do it in a way where need is the prominent motivation for discovery. Other than that, there are no main issues.)
When an individual’s mind has been driven by need, an individual can gain satisfaction through forgiving those in their past. In The Tempest, Prospero commences the play consumed by a need for control and vengeance, fuelled by a desire to seek revenge for the “foul play (he) had” endured. However, whilst executing his revenge, Prospero gradually self discovers that the “rarer action is in virtue than in vengeance” and that life should continue with a positive and forgiving attitude rather than being consumed by anger. Shakespeare’s use of alliteration of “v” and the juxtaposition of “virtue” and “vengeance” reflects his newly found acceptance of compassion and forgiveness. (Synthesise more; I’m not sensing the connection here. What does composer suggest by employing the alliteration and juxtaposition?) This proclamation is further reiterated through the use of juxtaposition between Prospero’s tone within the beginning of the play and at the end of the play. The shift in Prospero’s tone and language from the first act, where he described his brother as “perfidious” and one who “opened the gates of darkness”, to “I do forgive thee, unnatural through thou art” in the last act signifies his deep transformation brought on by the discovery of his need for revenge as elucidated through Shakespeare’s symbolism of the Tempest. (It’s too long of a sentence, 61 words. Make sure your idea is clearly conveyed, otherwise you’ll fall into a B-range essay due to your control of expression.) Shakespeare through the character, Prospero, questions masculinity within the 16th century and if revenge is the only prospect to masculinity. Therefore, it is evident that Prospero’s discoveries have a powerful transformative effect on him by the end of the play. Similarly, Lindsay Nemelka argues that, “Shakespeare uses Prospero (to highlight) the importance of … forgiveness, and that Shakespeare believes that … forgiveness can be achieved”. The act of forgiveness and reconciliation is crucial to Prospero’s transformation as he discovers that he cannot consume himself with revenge, and must instead focus on commonalities to effectively rule and take back his dukedom. (There aren’t any major issues with this paragraph; this is very effective in terms of writing thematically/conceptually. However, there are moments where you lack control of expression. Make sure you’re aware of this as it’s a requirement for an A-range essay to have sophisticated control. Perhaps, link it back to how the discoveries made here resonate with the audience. Other than that, it’s a very effective paragraph.)
The desire to forgive has the power to transform one’s quality of life. (Perhaps, link this back to your thesis. How would this argument support your thesis?) The Perks of being a Wallflower is a linear structured letter that allows for character development. Charlie states that his Aunt is his “favourite person in the whole world,” and alludes (Be careful; the characters don’t allude. The composer does. I also think you’re starting this essay to textually. If you begin with the discoveries made by the character and not by the composer or audience, that’s a good sign you’re discussing the concept heavily focused on the text itself.) to the importance of his aunt, which leads him to be deeply affected at the end of the novel as he discovers that she betrayed his trust. The use of irony towards (in) “favourite person”(a bit more contextualisation would do wonders; I’m not really sensing the irony in this.) juxtaposes with Charlie’s discovery: “I figured out that everything I dreamt about my aunt Helen was true…I realised it happened (molestation) every Saturday when we would watch television”, leading the audience to discover that not all discoveries are welcoming and can lead to emotional instability as highlighted by Charlies severe (Post-traumatic stress disorder) PTSD. (Again, you're lacking control of expression. Be careful with this!) Similar to the Tempest, in order to heal and continue with his life, Charlie needs “nobody to hate anymore after that..(or) someone to blame’, elucidating implicitly through the use of colloquial language that he forgave his Aunt Helen for molesting him. Moreover, Charlie needs to forgive himself for the death of his Aunt Helen, as he regularly thinks whether “aunt Helen would still be alive today if she just bought me one present like everybody else. She would be alive if I were born on a day that didn't snow”. (Up to now, you’re still too heavily focused on the text and the characters themselves. Take a step back and consider how the composer employs literary devices to convey discovery.) Charlies use of high modality (Again, Charlie doesn’t use high modality; the composer does.) on “that she would be alive” states his certainty that he is the reason as to why his aunt passed away allowing the audience to discover the guilt within Charlie. Through forgiving himself, Charlie is able to relinquish his guilt and achieve emotional stability. (Synthesise further. How does this suggest the motivation of need towards the discoveries discussed by the composer? Relate it back to need, wonder, and curiosity, and then extend it to the transformative power that these motivators possess.) As highlighted through his linear structured letters that allow character development. Through the linear structured letters the readers are able to discover Charlies transformation as he uses the letters as a way to reflect on his discoveries and his attitude towards these discoveries. In contrast to Prospero in The Tempest, Charlie is able to forgive his Aunt for her assaultive actions due to the society that he was raised in. The emphasis on forgiveness highlights the transformation of the values and attitude of the 21st century. Hence, due to the desire to forgive it allows Charlie to transform and gain emotional stability through forgiving. (Overall, I would like to see more conceptual links with your analysis. At the moment, they are all just very surface level analysis. To really dig into the heart of the module, you will need to consider the role of the composer. How does the composer discuss the concepts of discovery? From there, how does this resonate with the audience? I thought your first paragraph was well done in terms of discussing the concept itself. We can tell because you bring Shakespeare into light rather than the characters. Use it as a scaffold for your paragraphs.)
Both protagonists are males and their actions reflect their society, highlighting the alteration between the society’s view on masculinity and forgiveness towards males. Although both protagonist transform by forgiving, the period it takes the protagonist of The Tempest and The Perks of being a Wallflower to forgive differs. Charlie, the protagonist of The Perks of being a Wallflower, forgives his aunt two months later, after discovering his aunt molested him every Saturday night. Contrary to this, Prospero, the protagonist of The Tempest forgives his brother and Antonio after 12 years. Thus, it can be stated that transformation can occur in any era when evoked by need but the time it takes to forgive is determined by the values and attitude of the protagonist’s society. (Again, you’re too heavily focused on the texts themselves and not enough on the concept that need is a motivation for individuals seeking discoveries. Make sure you have a personal connection to the texts you’re studying as it allows you to have new insights about discovery and of the concepts that surround discovery within the texts.)
Transformation occurs due to discoveries, which can be evoked by need as explicated by The Tempest and The Perks of being a Wallflower through their use of language features, forms and contextual background. These transformations can lead one to learn to forgive and reflect on themselves and to thrive or continue with their life. Although these discoveries were motivated by need, it may be argued that other factors contributed as well.
I believe this would be a middle B-range essay just because you're approaching the essay textually rather than thematically. Have a look at your Tempest paragraph, and then compare that to your related text. Do you notice the difference? In your first paragraph, you focus on the composer and the audience, giving minimal attention to the characters within the text. This is what we mean by a thematic study: a focus on the discoveries conveyed by Shakespeare. Make sure you're consciously aware of this.
One key area where many students fall short is the ability to contextualise your quotes without falling into retell. It's pretty hard to do this well, but it's really effective when done right. To contextualise means to give context into the quote you're employing as textual evidence. Give us a brief introduction to where the quote is found, and then go into the in depth analysis. For the most part, it's done well but you can certainly strengthen this area by giving us
just enough detail about the quote.
I think this is the key area where you struggled:
engagement with the question. I'm not sensing you're exploring all aspects of the question, and this certainly shows with the direction of your essay. I believe it's important to note that there is more than one way in approaching the question. For one, you could argue that one is more prominent in one text, while the other is more prominent in the other text. Or, you could argue that the necessity
to discovery gives light and influences individuals to initiate new insights and discoveries that then lead onto curiosity and wonder. Play around with the question, and think deeper into your texts.
This comes up time and time again in the marking feedback:
analyse, don't describe your text. Relating it back to my first point, analyse your text with a conceptual study of the text. It's really easy for you to fall into describing your text if your approach is leaning towards a textual focus. Instead, shift your ideas back to the
composer and the
audience, and then sustain the ideas that you've introduced in your introduction throughout the rest of your essay. Think about how the experiences you've faced with discovery are reflected within your prescribed and related texts, and then what is the composer's perspective of discovery?
I'm also unsure of the control of your expression. There are times where you've awkwardly worded a few ideas, and there are sentence lengths that are way too long for the marker. Take the time to hone in on your expression, and I think you could really elevate your flair of writing as well as clarity.
What to do next:Go back to your texts, and dig deeper into the discovery aspects of your texts. Think about what the composer is trying to convey in terms of discovery concept, and then how they employ literary devices to do so. You should also think about how your view of discovery is changed as you're reading your texts. The goal here is to develop a personal and deep understanding of your text so that you are able to extract valuable textual evidence for any discovery question they throw at you.
Constantly refer back to the rubric, and extract some more insights into discovery. Take note of the representation, the types, and the consequences of discovery. How does this meaning of discovery resonate with your understanding?
Redraft one of your paragraphs, and unpack the question. These things take time to perfect, but you can definitely do it. Unpack the question in full, and address all parts of the question. This means:
need,
curiosity,
wonder, and the
transformation they have on individuals.
Hopefully, this has been helpful to you! Good luck with your upcoming exams, and if you have any questions, feel free to let me know.
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Topic: English Advnaced - The Tempest (Read 1246 times)