essay feedback please. would be immensely appreciated!

[mcl0028]

Can someone pleaseee help me out and give some feedback on my essay intro and para2;


In both Tracks, the chronological memoir by Robyn Davidson and Into the Wild, the non-linear film adaptation by Sean Penn, the theme of family is central. The title ‘Into the Wild’ implies leaving something and entering an untamed, uninhabited environment, whereas ‘Tracks’ is more ambiguous suggesting either a making or following of a course. Sean Penn, who himself, had grown up in a Californian secular home and ‘received the Christopher Reeve First Amendment Award from the Creative Coalition for his commitment to free speech’ understood the indisposition in a modern, conventional society allowing him to more accurately represent Chris McCandless’ complex motives for deserting his biological family, similar to Robyn Davidson, who’s journey took place in the 1970’s when misogynism and racism which was “so much the malaise of my [her] age,sex, gender and class”  and it is a genuine sense of compassion for the marginalised that Davidson is able to instil in her writing, emphasising the way in which those who are marginalised are thoroughly neglected in society. Both protagonists, Chris McCandless and Robyn Davidson, undertake the transitional journey for self-discovery by abandoning conventional societal norms and heading “into the wild”. Both texts explore family-whether biological or non-biological- as necessary in life, even if not fully desired. The gradual changes in each protagonist is catalzyed by minor characters, leading to the ultimate realisation happiness is “only real when shared”.



P2Both protagonists develop family like relationships on their journeys, however Robyn embraces these people much sooner than Chris does. Robyn is “no purist” and accepts the help and money needed to succeed, embracing those who love and care for her unlike Chris who doesn’t see value in “human relationships” until he is on his deathbed and comes to the realisation that happiness is “only real when shared”.  Although both protagonists, leave behind their biological families and endeavour to achieve their goals “alone”, it is clear that human companionship is necessary in their lives even if not entirely desired. The protagonists thrive in loving, caring relationships despite their traumatic childhoods and oppositions to live with others; Robyn manages to accept and maintain these new relationships, embracing a new family, unlike Chris who abandons these sanctuaries and ultimately perishes alone in Alaska. Chris leaves his family and the conventional 20th century society that he condescends and tramps around America until he eventually makes it to Alaska where his aspirations to find true meaning in life are fulfilled. Chris touches many people during his travels and is even, after telling Ron he doesn’t “have one[family] anymore”, is presented with an offer of adoption. Although Chris is accepted and loved by his friends during his time tramping, he often, without remorse, deserts his friends, continuing on his journey alone. Robyn, however, is “no purist” and understands that her time with Eddie was “the best thing to happen” on the trip and she eventually “relaxed into Eddie’s time” giving more weight to her beloved companion, Eddie, than the ideals of her trip, contrasting Chris who dismisses Ron’s offer for adoption. Robyn understands that to succeed she must embrace Rick “it was his [rick’s] journey too” despite feeling “resentful about having to see him again” and although Robyn feels Rick “didn’t belong” in the desert with her, robyn is able to change so that rick can act be a form of Robyn’s family and ultimately help robyn to success throughout her journey; Davidson portrayed the help of family nessacary for Robyn to survive on her trip. Chris preferred complete independence and prioritises a pure trip rather than grugingly accepting the help family embodies. Chris dismisses Ron’s offer for adoption and plans to “talk about it when” he gets back from Alaska, also rejecting plane tickets believing with accepting that gift he couldn’t push himself as much as possible on his journey, Chris can only understand his mistakes and forgive his biological family on his deathbed when “god’s light shines” on him; Penn displays Chris as regretful that he couldn’t return to society and share his adventures through the montage of family like relationships. Ultimately Robyn embraces family like relationships, accepting the help embodied in them whereas Chris prioritises the ideals of a solely independent trip and believes he can only obtain his goals, “truth ,“alone”.
Robyn’s ability to recognise the benefit in human companionship starkly contrasts Chris who(m?) is preoccupied by his romantics and “great Alaskan adventure”, thus whilst perceiving himself as the “romantic voyager” and busy trying to “rid himself of the false demon within”, Chris fails to embrace moments and time spent with people he meets along his trip. Chris is constantly dismissing the people who care about him and instead is “thinking about getting ready for Alaska”. Although Chris does begin to appreciate his new family in chapter 4, particularly at salvation mountain when an old man enlightens chris, “god loves us, a lot”,it’s apparent that he hasn’t entirely embraced the importance of those around him, by once again abandoning his new family and confronting Alaska alone, where he ultimately gets “trapped in the wild”, unable to return to society to share stories of his adventures. In moments of distress, the underlying intentions of each protagonists can be inferred and when Chris reaches the “greatest tragedy” of his life in the empty meal of a moose that he failed to preserve, he becomes deeply distressed, re-enacting traumatic childhood moments inflicted by his tyrannical father, a clear distinction to Robyn who, when under the inevitable pressure of her camel trip, encourages herself and reminds herself this would be “the most worthwhile thing” she would do, suggesting Robyn’s motivations are contiguous to her personal journey and growth whereas Chris had “..anger motivating his trip”, acting in spite of his past that he is still not “free” from thus his conflict with embracing his new family like relationships. Family is portrayed as something that must be acknowledged to achieve happiness.