English Imaginative writing intro Feedback......

[Roydens19]

Hello everyone

Could someone please give me feedback on my Imaginative writing

The Glass Jars

The hallway was dark and eerie as she walked towards the stairs, looking back over her shoulder at some fear, staring out the window at the large full moon, over a vast barren field behind the house where the strange noise had eventuated from. The stairs creaked as she slowly moved down them, she froze as the strange sound rang again. I had followed Amy to the bottom of the stairs but stopped in fear of making a noise and spooking her, I had been secretly following her around the house on her night hunts for strange noises for some months now, but for some reason I felt wired about this noise.
Dawn was breaking as Amy went back to bed having found nothing inside the house. I decided to explore outside, I made a few laps around the house, found nothing I headed towards the sound over the barren landscape. As I walked I saw a dark object looming head, As I got closer I found it was an old burial ground. The shadows were lifting as I arrived making everything move in a ghostly way. There wasn’t much to see so I turned to head back, as I did this a strange figure moved from behind a stone, I turned to see a tattooed man running from the scene. I turned and chased him, all the while wondering what he was doing there and if it was him that made the sounds earlier that morning.
Having chased him for a solid twenty minutes I still hadn't caught him, but I knew who he was and where he lived, he was Amy's boyfriend. I stopped running and turned for home once more, as I reached the burial ground for a second time that day I found a range of jars full of water, behind a unique head stone surprisingly belonging to my grandfather. I stopped and looked closer at these strange jars that I presumed belonged to the tattooed man Tom, although it was strange that he left them there I didn't see anything that could have made the sound that Amy was searching for.
I decided to head back to check on Amy and then go and find Tom and have a talk to him in a neutral state of mind, I found Amy cooking breakfast in the dimly lit kitchen, having told her of my adventures I quickly got changed and left the house in my clapped-out ford pickup. I found Tom on his veranda peacefully smoking a nicely scented cigar. As I approached him he stood up and greeted me by the hand, Robert how are you, he said, great and you I replied. This caused him to stop and think for a while, finally he replied not to well actually, I was out at the burial ground near your house when a ghostly looking figure appeared and chased me for twenty minutes or so, it was creepy you know the wind was blowing and making an eerie noise. I ran strait hear and got myself a cigar to calm the nerves you know. I asked him what he was doing there, and he replied that he was paying his respects to his Father by placing flowers on his grave, it was Anzac Day after all. I told him that I came to inquire about his happenings this morning because I had heard a strange noise at about dawn   
After asking a few more very pointed questions I found out everything I needed, I figured that he was not out to harm Amy in anyway, but I still didn’t believe that the wind could have made the noise we heard in the night. I bidded my good luck and left him smoking his cigar, as I travelled back in my car I can across a street busker that was playing a song on glass jars, he was blowing across the tops of the jars and producing different strange sounds depending on the amount of water, as I watched I realised that the wind would have been blowing over the tops of the empty flower jars and producing the strange sound in the night. I finished watching the show and then drove home and told Amy the story and that she could stop worrying about the noise in the night.
I arrived home to find the house in full swing of an ordinary day, the younger twins making mess everywhere, Amy on her phone and mum and dad pulling their hair out trying to find me and trying to keep the twins in control. Mum and dad instantly ask what had happened when they knew I was home. Told them the story about Tom and how he had been planting flowers and the wind over the glass jars had caused the strange noise that we had looked for in the early hours that morning.
Then we all went to the burial ground once more but this time with flowers of our own to pay our respects to the men who fought for our country including our grandfather. We got there and it was full of people paying their own respects to loved ones and brave soldiers, Anzac day was a big do for our town because we lost so many in that terrible war.