OK third try Analysis of Language

[Glockmeister]

Maybe saying something like "by exposing the readers to the conditions of the chickens, the writer attempts to evoke sympathy towards the chickens within the minds of the audiences and horrify them into considering the writer's contention."

that sound better?

[Faraz]

no I mean did I get the so called discussion bit cause you guys all said that I skipped it???

[shinny]

'challenge or change their views' is WAY too vague. Never put yourself in a position where such a sentence can be used in any language analysis and simply copy and pasted, because that would mean it's not specific enough. The entire piece is designed to be persuasive, so EVERYTHING is designed to somewhat challenge or change the readers' views. Good to see that you're using 'readers may' now, and you have discussed a bit, but you haven't gone far enough still quite yet to say why. Ultimately, most persuasive techniques will invariably result in some sort of emotional response (although sometimes there are purely rational and logical arguments), and in this case, it's best to mention that through the gaining of such knowledge, they'll develop a sense of sympathy. But still, expression errors are still going to cost you quite alot of marks from what I see...it's quite convoluted right now.

EDIT: Oh, and I thought Nick's TAPE isn't really something that's meant to be followed in order as a paragraph structure guide...try may something like identify/describe the technique->writer's purpose/intention->potential readers' reaction/effect