Jokes thread

[aiming_95]

From the BBT.

A neutron walks into a bar asks the bartender how much for a drink, the bartender says for you NO CHARGE.

Ba dum TSHH.

[DisaFear]

^lol, that, the first thing a chemistry/physics teacher would say when they're feeling ill..

[Mao]

The bartender says "Sorry, we do not serve particles faster than light."





..a neutrino walks into a bar.

[b^3]

Why did the chicken cross the road

From the BBT.

A neutron walks into a bar asks the bartender how much for a drink, the bartender says for you NO CHARGE.

Ba dum TSHH.

Again from TBBT.
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side. BAZINGA.




(Since mobius strips only have one side)

We actually made mobius strips in class on the last day of term in yr 11 as and activity. If you draw a line in the middle of the stirp and keep going you will end up back where you started from and it looks like you drew on both sides but there is only one side. I forgot what happens if you cut along the line though.

[Panicmode]

Why did the chicken cross the road

From the BBT.

A neutron walks into a bar asks the bartender how much for a drink, the bartender says for you NO CHARGE.

Ba dum TSHH.

Again from TBBT.
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the same side. BAZINGA.




(Since mobius strips only have one side)

We actually made mobius strips in class on the last day of term in yr 11 as and activity. If you draw a line in the middle of the stirp and keep going you will end up back where you started from and it looks like you drew on both sides but there is only one side. I forgot what happens if you cut along the line though.

If you cut along the line you get two linked circles (from what I remember of year 6)

....

A proton stands trial for murder. He is in the witness box and is being cross-examined by the prosecution.

- "And where were you the night of the 5th Mr. Proton?"
- "I was in the nucleus, with my friend neutron"
_"Are you sure you were in the nucleus? There wasn't say... an ACID BASE REACTION!!!"

*audience gasps*

- "Yes sir! I'm positive!"

[DisaFear]

Step back chemists!

[Panicmode]

Step back chemists!
(Image removed from quote.)

Ah lol . He drank peroxide.

Hmm; Biol pickup lines;

- If I were an enzyme, I'd be RNA polymerase so I could unzip your genes.
- You're so hot, you denature my proteins.
- Hey baby, how bouts you an me go back to my place and we can form a covalent bond
- I wish I was adenine, cause then I'd be paired with U.
- If you were a concentration gradient, I'd so go down on you.
- I have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum, but I hear you like it rough.

[DisaFear]

^Oh man, saying those out loud makes me blush
Dunno if I've posted this before, but this is what a real circuit looks like

[DisaFear]

Problem fish?

[thushan]

Chemists do it periodically on the table...

[Panicmode]

Chemists do it periodically on the table...

LOLOLOL.

Two hydrocarbons are walking down the streets of New York. One gets bumped by a passing stranger. He turns to the other and says, "Geeze, some people can be so inconsiderate". The other hydrocarbon looks at him and says, "True, but it takes alkynes to make a world."

[ninwa]

[Panicmode]

(Image removed from quote.)

It's so true!!

[Random_Guy]

I tried robbing an old man yesterday.

"Give me all your money, otherwise, you're geography!" I exclaimed.

"Don't you mean 'history'?" he replied.

"Don't change the subject!" I yelled.

[ShortBlackChick]

Courtesy of my brother (its a AFL related joke, and no not Collingwood) :

Q: What has 44 legs and cant climb a ladder?

A: Port Adelaide.