Think your exams are getting hard?

[Russ]

I am a little disappointed tbh, because they didn't think of this:

Quantum Mechanics:
Find the exact position and velocity of an atom at a point in time. Generalize this for all atoms and predict the exact evolution of all events in time. Verify your results with history.

But they're meant to be possible *folds arms*

haha, this is where it came from (love komplexify) if you hadn't already seen it:

http://komplexify.com/math/humor.html

If you've never been there before and you're into this sort of geeky humour...it'll cost you a good hour of reading everything

eg

A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

“For sure a mistress is better,” says the lawyer. “If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.”

“No, no, it’s better to have a wife,” says the doctor, “because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health.

“No, no, you’re both wrong,” replies the mathematician. “It’s best to have both so that when the wife thinks you’re with the mistress and the mistress thinks you’re with your wife, you can slip away and do some mathematics.”

[Hutchoo]

These sound like UMAT questions.

[/0]

LOL that exam would be so much fun


Astronomy: Plot a graph showing the distribution of 'dark matter' in the universe. Does it agree with Einstein's theory of gravity? If not, explain how to fix the discrepancy. There is a telescope under your desk.

Math: Prove or disprove: All non-trivial zeroes of have real part . There is a calculator under your desk.
(Note: Disproof will result in a mark of 0 for this question)

[burbs]

the hardest one

" try to get rid of bill gates/steve jobs virginity in the next hour".

You know how much hipster tail Jobs gets?

[letsride]

there should be one like:
"Define the meaning of life. Generalise these results to the population"

[Mao]

there should be one like:
"Define the meaning of life. Generalise these results to the population"

42.

What do I win?

[letsride]

there should be one like:
"Define the meaning of life. Generalise these results to the population"

42.

What do I win?

elaborate on 42. please =P

[/0]

42.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000........

[Mao]

there should be one like:
"Define the meaning of life. Generalise these results to the population"

42.

What do I win?

elaborate on 42. please =P

When you become wise enough to understand the meaning of life, the answer 42 will become apparent.

[Russ]

42.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000........

Should not have laughed so hard at this.

[letsride]

there should be one like:
"Define the meaning of life. Generalise these results to the population"

42.

What do I win?

elaborate on 42. please =P

When you become wise enough to understand the meaning of life, the answer 42 will become apparent.

the answer to life the universe and everything

ps never watched hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

[Spreadbury]

8. ENGINEERING
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find and instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

:D:D:D

[cypriottiger]

2. MEDICINE
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix.
Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

well put me in a jigsaw trap and ill have it out in 3 mins, and then drink the scotch while awaiting my impending doom.
4. BIOLOGY
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 50 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.
through my thorough knowledge of biology, chemistry and south park, i believe it to be possible to create life through transgenic organisms comprised of human seman and sea monkeys
5. MUSIC
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your desk.
i play guitar....soo.... fml.
7. SOCIOLOGY
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct and experiment to test your theory.
create an apocalypse...see question 12 solution.
8. ENGINEERING
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on your desk. You will also find and instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
due to my swahili background i calmly assemble the rifle by reading the instruction manuel with 4 minutes to spare, before shooting the bastard who put me in there and feeding him to the tiger. because bengal tigers are endangered and i would never shoot them
10. POLITICAL SCIENCE
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its social-political effects, if any.
Hey Obama, your mum was great last night!
12. PHYSICS
Create a small rapidly rotating black hole. Investigate and report on its effects on the optoelectric properties of Seaborgium (element #106). Clean up your experiment after you've finished.
well i would compress any object within its event horizon (in comparison, the sun to a few square centimeters) so as to induce gravity to collapse onto itself, creating the black hole. the element part i have no clue. then i would not 'clean up' but rather allow it to consume every particle in the solar system, thus creating the apocalpse.
14. ASTRONOMY
Define the universe. Give three examples.
1. in the beginning chuck norris
2. roundhouse kicked nothing
3. and created the universe.

lol these are grat to answer! i would actually enjoy answering Q 12 had i known what relevance a theoretical black hole would have on an element aside from sucking it up :/ how to clean up? um wait a few tens of billions of years for it to dissolve?

[Russ]

because bengal tigers are endangered and i would never shoot them

Bonus marks for morality!

how to clean up? um wait a few tens of billions of years for it to dissolve?

Sorry, the exam only lasts 4 hours. Although I suppose you could travel at close to light speed to give it time.

[cypriottiger]

because bengal tigers are endangered and i would never shoot them

Bonus marks for morality!

how to clean up? um wait a few tens of billions of years for it to dissolve?

Sorry, the exam only lasts 4 hours. Although I suppose you could travel at close to light speed to give it time.

lol well veterinary is my intended career so it kinda goes against my core values to shoot an endangered species...
as for the 4 hour time limit? i could ask Doc to let me borrow his delorium (spell check)....