How to convince Asian family I don't want to do Med?

[acinod]

I got a high ATAR and right now my family doesn't know whether to be feel proud or disappointed.

Our family isn't that great. Although I was born here, the rest of my family came from overseas and although we are considered middle-class now, we use to be really poor. Due to these circumstances, it is easy for me to understand why my family has big hopes for me; they just want me to have a better life and not struggle as they have in the past. I am probably in a very similar situation to many other Asian families where the child has the pressure to get into medicine and become a doctor.

But I never wanted to do Medicine.

My dream is to become an actuary but the problem is my family knows absolutely NOTHING about what an actuary is. I tell them I need to do a Commerce degree and they automatically assume it's one of those jobs where it's really hard to find employment and that you could get fired in the future. I've done my research and I know this isn't true. I try to explain to them but they still don't understand. I talk about how great the pay is, how great the lifestyle is, how I actually enjoy this career. But in their minds, there is no other job that is better than being a doctor.

I finally get a high ATAR and they say I'm wasting my ATAR if I don't do Med. I tell them that I'll be wasting valuable years of my life doing Med instead but they they say how do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it. How am I suppose to answer that question? I got an interview from Monash for Med but I'm not going to go and they feel as though I am throwing away a sports car to ride a scooter. They say so many people DREAM to get into med but they can't and now I can but I'm not doing it. Their biggest argument is that doctor is more prestigious because you get to be called 'Dr. ______'. This is so stupid I don't even know how to reply.

No matter what I'm still going to go Melbourne and majoring in actuarial studies. My family isn't going to change my mind. Problem is it's going to take a few years to convince them that I chose the right path. (i.e. if I qualify as an actuary).

Is there a way to convince my family that I am more suited to being an actuary than a doctor?

[transgression]

Why do you need to convince them when you've already tried? Just do your thing, it's your own life and they will come around eventually. You can't please everyone.

[max payne]

It seems to me that you did all you could do...i dont think there is much you can do besides following your desired path and in time once they see how much you enjoy what you are doing, hopefully they will understand.

[aes_999]

Convince them that you can't stand the sight of blood, guts and gore spilled, especially if they want you to specialize (like being a cardiologist or a neurosurgeon). If not, you can always tell them that being a doctor, there's a lot of hard work involved, and your chances to "develop and mature" as a well rounded person will be diminished through a lack of social time with friends. After all, MHS tells us that your life is 'More than just marks', and you could always tell them that to your parents.

That being said, if they say they're fine with you being a GP...i can't help u.

[ninwa]

What are they gonna do if you just refuse to do med and accept a commerce offer? Seriously?

[dc302]

1. Actuaries make a lot of money.
2. Actuaries are in high demand.
3. You 'can' still do medicine after your undergrad if you wanted to (tell them this to get them off your back for now).

Either these three or you can go on a big rant about how you know what's best for your own life, but then that probably depends on how rebellious you have been in the past. If you've never 'defied' them then they probably won't listen to you now.

[funkyducky]

Have you had your med interview yet? Purposely fail your interview... otherwise, get some legit info on actuarial studies from the interwebz, look up those salary-ranking tables to show them how good an actuary's pay is, show them facts and figures that they might be more open too.

EDIT: show them http://beanactuary.org

[Bhootnike]

you dont start earning good money in med right away. it takes a while!

[acinod]

They are the biggest hypocrites. I tell them that actuaries make a lot of money and they also start making money as soon as they graduate because they can work while they study and NOW my family thinks I'm only in this career because of money. WTF?

Now they can't talk about salary. They talk to me about lifestyle. They say doctors have a really stable job and have a really good life. Oh yea? Actuaries have the MOST stable job and even better lives than doctors. They still don't understand. So far they are just being unreasonable.

And you're right they can't do anything about this. But I want to convince them. I don't want them to think I'm the stupid kid that threw his life away.

[funkyducky]

you dont start earning good money in med right away. it takes a while!

The same can be said for any career *shrug* You have to prove your worth.

[TrueTears]

Just tell them you'd enjoy actuarial studies over med at uni

Not like they're gonna disown you for not doing med xD

[ninwa]

Just tell them you'd enjoy actuarial studies over med at uni

since when do asian parents actually care about what *you* want?

[Bhootnike]

Get some respectable person, e.g. headmaster or a teacher, or a family friend to explain the reality behind actuary!
All they need is the knowledge of what it is, the pay, the lifestyle, and hopefully they can understand.

[acinod]

since when do asian parents actually care about what *you* want?

They don't LOL! They believe they know what's best for you which leads me to this:

Get some respectable person, e.g. headmaster or a teacher, or a family friend to explain the reality behind actuary!
All they need is the knowledge of what it is, the pay, the lifestyle, and hopefully they can understand.

Yeah this is good. So far they don't trust me because I'm just a kid that doesn't know much. If I can get someone more respectable to explain exactly what I told them they would be convinced within mere seconds. Problem is we don't know have any family friends that know anything about actuary either. And my family is can't really speak english so we can't get the teachers at my school and I can't link them to any websites. If someone can find a chinese site that explains how great an actuary is could they link me?

Otherwise...

Might have to call Dr. He....

[LOLs99]

LOL, just tell them it doesn't have to be studying medicine to be a "doctor"..
If you study another course and further specialised in the course you desire
and study up to a PHD degree..You will still have a name like Dr__(like many professor in uni named Dr__in front of them even though they're not doing med.) Am I right,acinod?
Just tell them it's has many different pathways to choose in order
to suceed in life and future, it doesn't have to be a doctor(medicine).
If you study medicine, it will be pretty busy compared acturial studies as I think actuary is a pretty fun job
Best Luck.