Whose Reality piece- feedback please!!

[Mariammm]

I wrote this piece in year 10 when I was doing a year 11 crash course for English Enhancement at school.... it was Year 10 so its not based on VCAA texts... The Running Man (Michael Bauer) and The Truman Show.... But, if you've studied the context you'll get it...
Let me know what you think, any feedback is appreciated

"Reality can never be objective because it depends on each individual's perception of the world."

The presence of a mulberry tree in the backyard of Tom Leyton can be the source of various and conflicting realities. Tom may view the tree as a source of comfort, likening the cocoons hanging off its branches to his won confined life annd grasping onto the hope of liberation. Through the eyes of an artist, Joseph would probably notice the sun's rays gently reflecting off the fragile leaves of the tree, emitting an orangey-brown colour that spreads through the yard. Passing by, Mrs. Mossop is more than likely not to acknowlegde the plant and look beyond it, with prying and curious eyes into the windows of the house. Three characters from Michael Gerard Bauer's, 'The Running Man', live and perceive the world through three subjective realities. One cannot be deemed more real or valid than the other.

Much like the silkworms that rely on the mulberry tree for shelter, food and prtoection and whose behaviour and pathway along the branches of the home is principally governed by instinct, humans make their way through their world with the same reliance on their senses, experiences and morals. Joseph's upbringing and his own position as a victim to quick and harsh judgements, lead him to ignore the circulating rumours about Tom Leyton, although his human nature unconciously makes him take them into account. Betrayed and hurt by the world she knew, Mrs. Mossop is distrusting and skeptical of Tom and holds a cynical view of life.

As one's own perception of the world determines their truth, can there be an objective reality? Social psychologist, David G. Myers thinks so, 'There is an objective reality out there, but we view it through the spectacles of our beliefs, attitudes and values.  If this is so, then we can never really determine what this objective reality is and whether it exists. It is not in the hands of any individual to define the nature of reality. Sceince can provide a description of reality that differs from what religion or art can. Yet, who can decide for mankind which portrayal is the most valid and the one our entire race should abide by?

The unreliable nature of subjective reality and the fickle nature of man, further complicate and lessen the chance of reaching a sustained personal reality, let alone a universal reality, that can be agreed upon by all men. As we often base our judgements of people, things and even matter, on our experiences in life and in many cases, the experiences of others, these opinions are prone to change. This can be seen in the development of Tom and Josephs' relationship. The latter's realisation and acknowledgement of the falsity of the infamous rumours surrounding and binding Leyton and the formation of a new, constructed reality of the man based on personal experience rather than, fabricated theories derived from word of mouth, is clear. However, it is the former who gains a new perspective of life, having been surprised and touched by the teenager's acceptance and willingness and determination to dig out his past, doing so with tolerance and patience rather than in a prying and accusive manner, that Tome Leyton is able to slowly drop his guard of aloofness and pessimistic mentality.

If a single relationship has the ability to alter an entire reality, then what makes reality any different from fantasy? After all, fantasy is a state of mind one chooses to live in, often for a certain period of time. This interval can be childhood or a time of grief, newfound love or as an attempt to escape from reality. According to one of the world's greatest minds, Albert Einstein asserts, 'Reality is merely an illusion'. This is the case for Truman Burbank, main character of 'The Truman Show'. His entire world is a television set and his life, a reality television set. Adopted by the show, Truman lives in ignorance that he is a television star and in oblivion to the world beyond his confining biosphere.

There is nothing that makes our reality different from Truman's. To every individual, the Earth is the only place where humans live. One's habitat is never questioned. Thus, a reality is formed. It could be that in arrogance in one's own perception and intolerance of anybody else's, that we are all blinded by ignorance of an existing objective reality. There has never been conflict over whether an apple is a fruit or a television an electronic device, so to some extent, humans have reached an agreement. However, these facts are once again, those which have been decided on and therefore, fall under the heading of subjective. As Fredrich Nietzsche states, 'There are no facts, only interpretations'.

Connie Miller once said, 'Objectivity has about as much substance as the emperor's new clothes'. This is due to the nature of the inhabitants of the world, who share a single planet yet, a myriad of perceptions that are subject to change. Unconciously and conciously, directly and indirectly, every individual constructs a reality depending on moral viewpoints and physical experiences, that are each as real as the one before. Hence, objectivity is a word we have chosen to define yet, fail to acknowledge.

[Mariammm]

^^ Sorry, I know there are quite a few typos

[mr.politiks]

Sorry, very very busy right now, but after a *very* quick read:

It needs a real form. Where are you writing, what is it featured in? A magazine? A forward to a book? It can't just be an essay.
Length: It's OK, but you probably know that they have to be a lot longer for Yr 12
Very good for Year 10

A lot of "reality.... reality..... reality..." this is the biggest trap. Don't mention reality too much. Break it down. Focus on one section of the context and be specific to it. For my exam, I wrote a reflective piece by Michael Frayn (the authoer of my chosen text), and focussed on how he had tried to mould a representation of reality through his writing. I went on to explore how one character's perception of reality could be modulated by the forces of time and the suggestibility, the fallibility, even, of one's memory.

Also crucial is the exploration of both sides. OK, human's definitely veiw the outside would through an irremovably subjective lense. Does this, however, mean that we do not inhabit a world defined by objective limitations and principles? A chair is a chair. The extistence of a stone cannot be denied by merely classifying its label as a "stone" as subjectively derived. Think about these ideas. This will help you give your piece more balance and complexity. You can still have a final viewpoint, but you should explore the opposing view and even rebut it to some extent.

Hope that helps!

[Mariammm]

Thanks alot Istafa, definitely helpful ... I'll work on it