Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen.

[Mariammm]

Why is it that people only see it from the father's point of view?
Is it because it's the only point of view that you're hearing?

It's not right to judge someone based on one thing that they've written when they're obviously angry and not feeling up to scratch mentally?!!
I think everyone's just jumped in and had a go at the girl just because no-one's heard her point of view.

If I had a gun, I'd go and shoot up his stuff as punishment for inappropriately humiliating his daughter. We'll see how he feels.

Btw, maybe this is one of the reasons why teenage suicide is too high, bad parenting, not helping their teenage children, but pressuring them further. No wonder they have nowhere to turn

1. Completely agree about judging the girl - as if every one of us hasn't thought or said worse (not necessarily about our parents), she was just naive enough to post it on fb - shes obviously lacking guidance, give her a break!!
2. But to say that you are also judging the father - he too did what he did in a moment of anger and hurt (to read something like that about yourself from your own flesh and blood - the child you have been raising for 15 years, ouch! That would sting!)
We don't know people's circumstances. We don't know what the history - how much has she done to get her father to bursting point?
We are trying to assess one situation without knowing enough about it. None of us can sit back and play Judge Judy over a single video - which can be very deceiving

[paulsterio]

Kazdawg,
No, it's not like that! I totally disagree with this notion of parenting!

Go find me a book and a psychologically accepted theory which states that using fear and a weapon as well as threats to educate a fifteen year old girl is a good thing. Shouldn't parents be a place where kids feel safe and feel as if they can talk to?

Discipline is not right at fifteen. She's too old to be treated like a child. Children are irrational, they only do what they want. Someone who is fifteen understands. When she is not angry, I'm sure that she will be reasonable and rational as well.

Force is unacceptable as a parenting method.


Mariammm,
Yes I agree, maybe I did judge the father too, but yeah, I don't think what she did was even that bad, I've done worse things in my life and honest, I think I've grown up to be a responsible person, I no longer act the way I used to. My parents never needed to threaten me.

[burbs]

Kazdawg,
No, it's not like that! I totally disagree with this notion of parenting!

Go find me a book and a psychologically accepted theory which states that using fear and a weapon as well as threats to educate a fifteen year old girl is a good thing. Shouldn't parents be a place where kids feel safe and feel as if they can talk to?

Discipline is not right at fifteen. She's too old to be treated like a child. Children are irrational, they only do what they want. Someone who is fifteen understands. When she is not angry, I'm sure that she will be reasonable and rational as well.

Force is unacceptable as a parenting method.


Mariammm,
Yes I agree, maybe I did judge the father too, but yeah, I don't think what she did was even that bad, I've done worse things in my life and honest, I think I've grown up to be a responsible person, I no longer act the way I used to. My parents never needed to threaten me.

I agree with most of what you are saying, but if she acts like a child, she gets treated like a child. If people were excused for their actions because they were emotional this would be even more of a messed up place.  In the same way, the dad's actions aren't really justified because of his emotions either.

He posted this on her wall as a follow up and you can see he regrets how he handled it:

Tommy Jordan: Lots of people have said similar things Jennie, and I want to address it. I'm not picking on anyone here when I say this, but I do feel the need to stand up for her a little bit.

She was a frustrated, mad, 15 year old. I surely said the same things to my friends when I was her age. The difference being I didn't put it in a world-wide billboard. THAT was her mistake. Had she thought better of it and deleted it a couple days later, that would have been ok. But since she thought she got away with it, two more posts popped up on her wall (they're hidden, so you can't see them). Getting away with it ONCE made her feel entitled enough to openly call someone else a "bitch" and a "whore" on Facebook. She tested the waters once and a week went by with no reprisals (only because I hadn't found it yet) but that made it OK in her mind I think to post even more inappropriate and hurtful things.

So now, she's getting punished by the same medium she used to punish others. Shooting the laptop was nothing... it's a toy.. she'll eventually get another. It doesn't matter if it was a laptop, cell phone, or any other tangible object. But the POINT matters.

My daughter is a loving, smart, kind, little girl who I'm proud of 95% of the time. This one time, well.. no I'm not proud of that. Yes she feels entitled, but all kids today seem to. I'm really not sure where it comes from. My friend Bill Stovall had a good idea on that.. maybe he'll share it on here.

But at the end of the day, I've got one of the best kids in the world. Yup, she made a mistake, and yes it was a BIG no no in our family. But she's a good kid, makes great grades, and usually respects other people...

She's going to pay the public price for her public display, but that's where it ends. I'm lucky to have the kid I do and I wouldn't have her any other way. Hopefully, this lesson will pass and the hoopla will die down and life will get back to normal soon

[kamil9876]

I dunno maybe some people here are used to seeing angels all the time, but I've seen teens behave way worse and parents not reacting like that. Too redneck for me, there are better ways of resolving these sorts of issues. lols: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST5_jgXHf9s&feature=related

[SDPHD]

Discipline is not right at fifteen. She's too old to be treated like a child. Children are irrational, they only do what they want. Someone who is fifteen understands. When she is not angry, I'm sure that she will be reasonable and rational as well.

One does not simply stop acting irrationally and doing what they want with age.

[paulsterio]

No, but we come to understand more, some assholes still act irrationally when they're older, but the majority of us do become more mature.

[kensan]

Yeah he might of taken it a bit far, but she got what she deserved.

Parents have done much worse, YouTube 'Judge Adams beats daughter' and watch that. That's called taking it too far. The dad who is a judge belts his daughter with a belt for downloading pirated music/movies or something.

[JellyDonut]

Haven't read the thread but the dad is acting like some immature brat throwing a tantrum. Kinda ironic don't ya think?

[Wazzup]

http://www.facebook.com/tommyjordaniii/posts/299559803434210

He has more than 58,328 likes, many people respect him and like what he has done.

[Camo]

ahahaha you let your kids roam free, no rules no discipline you get accused of bad parenting (which it is,) you provide for your kids in the best way possible with education and other 'wants' like a laptop and when you try to discipline them when they step out of line and disrespect you when you are only trying to make them decent humans and learn about hardwork, you get accused of bad parenting.

LOL

Solution: Don't have kids?

[Camo]

Kazdawg,
No, it's not like that! I totally disagree with this notion of parenting!

Go find me a book and a psychologically accepted theory which states that using fear and a weapon as well as threats to educate a fifteen year old girl is a good thing. Shouldn't parents be a place where kids feel safe and feel as if they can talk to?

Discipline is not right at fifteen. She's too old to be treated like a child. Children are irrational, they only do what they want. Someone who is fifteen understands. When she is not angry, I'm sure that she will be reasonable and rational as well.

Force is unacceptable as a parenting method.


Mariammm,
Yes I agree, maybe I did judge the father too, but yeah, I don't think what she did was even that bad, I've done worse things in my life and honest, I think I've grown up to be a responsible person, I no longer act the way I used to. My parents never needed to threaten me.

Damn. I'll see what I can find. -_-

EDIT: It's a no-brainer that as well as damaging someone's physical body your also damaging their self-esteem and they may be likely to develop psychological disorders. Also unfortunaly if your parent in this case used a steel bar and banged it against the table over multiple trails we will have classical conditioning.

If you guys want to read up anymore on it, refer to the little Albert experiment where a loud noise is used to condition fear towards a rat, and other stimulus (stimulus generalisation). 

[ShortBlackChick]

Ahahaha yeah I was going to suggest that Camo. Seems like you get labelled a bad parent regardless of you actions. No one is ever a perfect parent, and this father exemplifies that I suppose. Sure it seems a bit overboard, but I'm sure at the time the father was really angry and saw no other option but the use of fear. He mentions that its not the first time that his daughter has stepped out of line, obviously he would have tried the rational, less severe punishment option then, and obviously it hasnt worked for his somewhat immature child. Can you blame him for taking more drastic measures? He could have just sat back and watched his kid become a lazy bum but he did whatever actions he had to, to get his lesson across.

[Camo]

Ahahaha yeah I was going to suggest that Camo. Seems like you get labelled a bad parent regardless of you actions. No one is ever a perfect parent, and this father exemplifies that I suppose. Sure it seems a bit overboard, but I'm sure at the time the father was really angry and saw no other option but the use of fear. He mentions that its not the first time that his daughter has stepped out of line, obviously he would have tried the rational, less severe punishment option then, and obviously it hasnt worked for his somewhat immature child. Can you blame him for taking more drastic measures? He could have just sat back and watched his kid become a lazy bum but he did whatever actions he had to, to get his lesson across.

You so sure? It still worries me how this girl is being publicly humiliated and I'm siding with Paul. I would believe that a 15 teenage girl would led to some stimuli such as drugs or alcohol, or maybe even condition herself to cut herself to take away the humiliation she is experiencing. Children should never be put in a situation like that even if she is a little brat. However what if shes not? What if her Dad is just making this up cause he feels pissed that his being viewed like that?

[Mech]

It probably did not need to become a public matter, but he taught his daughter the affect publishing defamatory statements can have on her own life, too. Personally, I currently do not want kids and I am quite fond of the idea of shooting a clip of explosive bullets into a laptop so I agree with this whole fiasco.

[Camo]

It probably did not need to become a public matter, but he taught his daughter the affect publishing defamatory statements can have on her own life, too. Personally, I currently do not want kids and I am quite fond of the idea of shooting a clip of explosive bullets into a laptop so I agree with this whole fiasco.

My kids step out of line I'll condition them to fear candy.

I'm that much of a hardass.