Hi guys, my teacher gave me 9/10 for this, but i didn't get much feedback. Could someone perhaps kindly have a read of my piece and provide me with any comments/feedback?
Cheers
soccerboi
VCAA 2011: “Without connection to others there is no me”
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Mahatma Gandhi’s statement highlights that our true identity is best discovered when we form connections with others and interact with mainstream society. Gandhi firmly believes that belonging is an innate predisposition that acts as a catalyst for self discovery. Being devoid of acceptance leaves us ostracised from society. This runs the risk of leaving us emotionally and spiritually desolate which would inhibit our ability to identify who we truly are.
A sense of acceptance from our familial and intimate relationships with others shape who we are. These connections ideally provide love, protection, security and the opportunity to discover our values, attitudes, and beliefs that help to define us from our conception and birth. The essence of these ideas is clearly shown in Aditi Gouvernal’s account of her schooling experiences “Wei-Lei and Me.” Aditi feels alienated in Australia because she is persecuted at school. She gains a friendship when she defends Wei-Lei, a new student at the school, who becomes the new target for bullies. Together they are unified in fear of Barry, their bully, and this allows them to identify the courage within them to stand up together and defend themselves. As they grew into adolescence, they “gained a group of friends” and spent time together in the city ranting about how they “hated homogeneity and longed for difference” and dreamt about “a better life after uni.” The narrator’s sense of belonging to her friendship group allows her to feel safe and protected, a feeling which she did not have when she was alone in the school playground. Her friends also provide her with the opportunity to identify her values and satisfy her sense of citizenship despite her thoughts that she “could never be: Australian.” Similarly, my filial relationship has had great influence on my diligence in school and ignites the motivation that drives me to strive for success in my final year of high school. As a child my parents would continually bombard me with words of encouragement, and provide the assistance and guidance that I required to achieve academic excellence. Their highly regimented parenting styles shone light onto the path of self discovery that they wanted me to take. The sense of belonging they have given me has allowed me to explore the very fabric of my identity, which was inspired by their words of encouragement. Without my familial connection, I would not be who I am today.
Humans are social beings that advance through the use of communication. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs, we must satisfy our sense of belonging and love from our peers before we reach the stage of self actualisation where we contemplate our capabilities and potential. Vietnamese-Australian actor and stand-up comedian Anh Do, would not have taken a path of entertainment if he had not talked with his friend. By doing so, he realised that laziness forms one part of his individuality, so he ended his five-year law degree and switched to comedy. Connecting with his two sons has allowed him to realise that “nothing is important other than the health and happiness of the people you love.” His self esteem has been heightened by the approval and acknowledgment of support by friends and family. Without connecting with others Anh Do would not be the man he is. Similarly, my identity has been shaped by my commitments and relationships with others. My desire to fulfil my personal aspiration of academic success forms one part my identity. Through interactions with my friends and teachers at school, I am able to enrich and explore the academic part of myself. Through exploration over the past few years of schooling and experiences on school excursions, I have come to realise that my favourite subjects are English and Chemistry. Despite achieving success in the field of mathematics, my connection with my peers has driven away my motivation for maths. Support from my friends has developed my confidence and self esteem to a level where I am comfortable to publicly pose questions in class when required. From questioning, I am able to learn and explore the uniqueness that is embraced in my identity.
Identification of who we are can rely on other factors that may not require the universal desire to interact and connect with society. Brendan Grimshaw, known as the modern day Robinson Crusoe, decided at the age of 49 to live alone on an island that he bought located in the vast Indian Ocean. He is now 86. In the last 36 years living in social solitude, Grimshaw has planted thousands of trees and shrubs and has breed thousands of species. By shunning conformity and banishing his connection with society, Grimshaw is able explore his passion for conservation and his desire to make Moyenne Island habitable. If he had not decided to socially isolate himself, this passion may never have been discovered and he would have continued with his role as a newspaper editor. In “Growing up Asian in Australia,” Benjamin Law’s recount of his adolescence highlights that we do not need to feel a sense of belonging in order to identify who we truly are. Law did not feel like he belonged to his karate club nor did he feel convinced that he “bonded” with his brother. He felt that they were “just too different.” Despite lacking a sense of integration, he was able to identify himself as a homosexual male in a “hybrid” body. This self actualisation did not require the establishment of any connection with others. His feminine physique and homosexuality may well have been due to genetics. American politician Robert Casey's statement “From the beginning, each human embryo has its own genetic identity” emphasises that our sense of self is predetermined by natural causes and that we cannot help what we are born with.
There are many constituents that make up our identity. Through social integration, we are able to explore our interests and values and discover our true strengths. We unlock secrets about ourselves that we never realised existed, gain confidence to pursue paths that we never expected to take and communicate our personal aspirations to society. While the ubiquitous desire to belong acts as a gateway to exploring our uniqueness, we must be mindful of the notion of genetic inheritance. Individuality can arise from natural causes from the onset of birth and in this case we have no power over certain aspects of our sense of self.
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