Please critique my context piece! [Whose Reality]

[cbf]

Hi all,
This is still undergoing completion but because I need feedback fast I'm posting it now. I've still got one body paragraph left but I've got the topic sentence for it. This is my first time trying this form and I haven't done much work on context this year.  Would appreciate any comments  .


Memories and the truth will always mean different things to different individuals.

“Come over here to mummy” beckons the angelic voice as I stand dazed and hurt. The throbbing, intense pain bangs against the ceiling of my cranium blurring the glistening glow of the summer light that illuminates the hallway. The golden sundrenched walls are hazy, somewhat not quite clear, like looking at an old pixelated video. Instinctively, I search for motherly comfort, wailing as I scamper towards her. She gently places me on her lap and rubs my head tenderly, her touch having a cooling and calming effect on me. Everything is better now that I am lying in my mommy’s arms as she coos “It will all be alright”. Everything is back to how it used to be, at least to how I imagine it to be.

Often the way we perceive our memories will change over time, as new experiences and knowledge alter our subjective reality. That is to say that our values, belief systems, attitudes – which all contribute to our subjective interpretation of the world – are malleable to external influences such as age. Consider a teenager who sees their youthful exploits as harmless fun and completely opposed to their parents’ protective instincts. However, once matured and older this very same teenager, despite their resistance, will almost undoubtedly become that protective parent. Thus, our personal interpretations of memories can often change and mean different things not only to others but also to ourselves. This notion is apparent in Michael Frayn’s Spies, where Stephen’s attempts to make sense of his childhood as he relives the past with knowledge that his younger self was not privy to. Often our perception of reality is narrowed down, that is we can only make a subjective interpretation, which restricts us from seeing what is actually happening. Stephen’s childhood experience meant different things to him; as a child it was a game, an interesting world to escape from his ordinary life but as an adult it’s a source of irony and perhaps regret due to the consequences of his actions. Thus, while we essentially become different individuals over time it is seemingly inevitable that our memories will mean different things.

Our changing subjective reality not only alters our memories, but the way we respond and understand our world. In this sense, there is no absolute truth as this simply depends upon the individual. The curious relationship between Stephen and Keith is a product of their distinct lives; Stephen’s haphazard family leads him to respecting the “unshakable correctness” of the Haywards whilst the rigidity and discipline Keith suffers from his father encourages him to place dominance over Stephen. Despite their relationship meaning different things, it remains intact because it is convenient. However, with differences in subjective realities, often similarities will arise. Although they live in contrasting worlds both boys seek to escape their daily routine, albeit for different reasons, by using their imagination to exaggerate the war setting that they share. While aspects of what we consider to be true or fact may be similar, it is how we arrive to this conclusion that remains unique. In other words, we may be able to agree on a belief, but there are contrasting ways to how we arrive to that belief.

Our memories serve an important function in informing us on who we are, framing the way we view ourselves and consequently the objective world.

What would my mum be thinking at the time? What if I knew, if I could comprehend that my mum was sick - would I have acted so selfishly? My knock on the head was nothing compared to the illness she was suffering from but there she was devoting her attention to me and not herself. For god’s sake I don’t even know the extent to which my memory is true. It could very well be that I’ve misrepresented this episode to be a perfect motherly moment to embody the way I would like to remember her. How funny it is, that the things you feel most certain about in life turn out to be the greatest of uncertainties. 
 
Written Explanation
In a wider sense, the prompt raises the idea that we all perceive the world differently, that although we may share the same experience our memories of it may differ or that the way we view the objective reality differs because of our subjective reality. I agreed with this notion but went further to explore how an individual’s perception may change over time and how memories influence what we perceive to be the truth and vice versa.

I’ve chosen to adopt an expository essay form so that I can explore the prompt without any biases and be able to delve into the complexities of perception and memory. I’ve added two sections of an imaginary piece adopting Frayn’s approach of describing a childhood experience and looking back with foresight. I found this to be relevant for the prompt as after my exploration readers can see the notions I’ve raised through the last paragraph. Keeping these parts distinct allow my readers – VCE students and teachers – to see the exploration of ideas and then these ideas practically through the remembering process.

I’ve adopted a descriptive tone for my imaginary parts to encourage readers to visualise and relate to the anecdote. For the essay I shift to a formal tone. I draw from Spies by using direct references in my essay, and paraphrasing quotes from the novel in my anecdote.