Guys, girls and relationships: What Mars and Venus looks for in a relationship

[RTandon]

Which leads me to my next question. What the F**K is a FRIENDZONE!?

To put is simply, when the guy is the girl's bitch and he isn't getting any.

[Felicity Wishes]

Oh true. Didn't think about it from a guys perspective. Yeah, often girls don't want to date a guy who they have a more friendly relationship with. I don't really understand it, just making a generalization here. I bet these girls that 'friendzone' boys presume that the said boy won't be able to make the jump from a friend to a lover (which is incorrect) so they just don't bother.

[thushan]

Hmm. Yet girls often want to 'take it slow' in general. Which I agree with - you have to get to know the person inside out. So here's a catch-22. The girl wants to take it slow, yet when the guy decides to be friends first and take it slow, he gets friend zoned. Well?

[Felicity Wishes]

Hmm. Yet girls often want to 'take it slow' in general. Which I agree with - you have to get to know the person inside out. So here's a catch-22. The girl wants to take it slow, yet when the guy decides to be friends first and take it slow, he gets friend zoned. Well?

Haha, EXACTLY! I've never dated a guy so I can't really speak from experience or anything but maybe girls know who they want and they ignore or friendzone anyone else who is not that? (which sounds very picky imo)

[thushan]

Which leads me to my next question. What the F**K is a FRIENDZONE!?

To put is simply, when the guy is the girl's bitch and he isn't getting any.

LOL very frank there. And subtle at the same time. Slightly.

Hold on, but that kinda assumes that the only difference between a friendship and a relationship is sex. Is this true? Interesting discussion here.

[thushan]

Hmm. Yet girls often want to 'take it slow' in general. Which I agree with - you have to get to know the person inside out. So here's a catch-22. The girl wants to take it slow, yet when the guy decides to be friends first and take it slow, he gets friend zoned. Well?

Haha, EXACTLY! I've never dated a guy so I can't really speak from experience or anything but maybe girls know who they want and they ignore or friendzone anyone else who is not that? (which sounds very picky imo)

Interesting idea there. So a friend zone is, effectively, a well-disguised rejection.

[Felicity Wishes]

Hold on, but that kinda assumes that the only difference between a friendship and a relationship is sex. Is this true? Interesting discussion here.

I think for a lot of relationships sex would be the factor that made it a 'relationship' rather than a friendship but then there are a lot of people who are dating but don't have sex (speaking about teenage relationships here now) but they still have romance and intimacy in their relationship... just no actual intercourse.  It's so hard to be broad here because relationships are so dynamic!

Interesting idea there. So a friend zone is, effectively, a well-disguised rejection.

Indeed. Shamefully, I know I have friend zoned someone solely because I did not want to date them. 

[thushan]

Point taken. "romance and intimacy in their relationship" - would be the other difference I assume.

What kind of intimacy though? Kissing? Or just physical contact like "arm in arm, holding hands?"

[RTandon]

What kind of intimacy though? Kissing? Or just physical contact like "arm in arm, holding hands?"

I think she's referring to the innocent things like kissing and holding hands in public. But it could also refer to the conversations you may have with a person. Like the deep stuff, hopes for the future, regrets etc.
(Talking about teenage relationships here!)

[RTandon]

Which leads me to my next question. What the F**K is a FRIENDZONE!?

To put is simply, when the guy is the girl's bitch and he isn't getting any.

LOL very frank there. And subtle at the same time. Slightly.

Hold on, but that kinda assumes that the only difference between a friendship and a relationship is sex. Is this true? Interesting discussion here.

I think the friendzone refers to a person (usually the guy from what I've noticed) actually wanting to be with the other person but the other person doesn't want to be with them- so yeah, I think it is the "nicer" way of rejecting someone.

[thushan]

I'd say it's different for different people.

"Like the deep stuff, hopes for the future, regret" --> I think I let my close friends into deep stuff, hopes for the future, and the like.

[Furbob]

1st bf - didn't really know him that well but decided to jump into a relationship. Found out that he wasn't really my type and it ended up being an awkward 9-month drag that I had to break up (I was 15. I was not-so-smart.)

Maybe I was blinded by appearance and physical attraction :S

2nd/current bf - was friends with him for 8~9 months before going out. Has the fashion sense of a goat. I'm pretty sure he felt friendzoned for ages since I looked up to him as my emotional cushion ie. skyping him before I went to bed to whinge about VCE and I just ended up telling him a lot of things about me and vice versa. We also live a 15 min walk away from each other so we met up a lot to go on afternoon walks around the block for exercise. I guess we felt comfortable with each other and eventually started going out.

while typing this I have realised that as of today we have gone out for 1 year exactly :O

celebrating it by going to a trampoline park.

[Soul_Khan]

i haven't even been friendzoned.. so forever alone.

[thushan]

I used to think I would be forever alone too. It's easy to feel this way. But...as of late, I think I developed more confidence. And I also think of it this way:

"Isn't it a good thing you havent been in a relationship yet? Once you get into one, you're much more mature, thoughtful and introspective. And that's a lot fairer on the girl with whom you are going out."

[Furbob]

love this video + is somewhat relevant to the topic of relationships

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY