Jill Meagher's Disappearance Poses Some Interesting Questions to Discuss

[thushan]

Whilst not victim-blaming, my parents (being traditional Italians) said that it was inappropriate for Jillian to act as a single woman in that she went out on her own, saying that her husband should have attended the event with her. How do you feel about this? Do you believe a married couple should always stick together for special occasions?

My mum has the same idea. Disagree though.

[Felicity Wishes]

My mum has the same idea. Disagree though.

Same here.

[brenden]

If someone didn't want me to walk them home, I'd probably just follow them and cop the consequences later.

Brenden, you're a good friend looking out for your mates like that.

Perhaps. I think that's how friendship should work.

[Special At Specialist]

I like to look at things from a probability perspective. The chance of being raped and murdered on a walk home at night are less than 1 in 1,000,000. I'm not going to let an extremely rare, isolated, freak incident like this discourage me from walking around at night.

Did you know that the chance of you dying in a car crash is over 1000 times more likely than the chance that you will be murdered? That doesn't mean that we should be paranoid about getting in a car.

There are rational fears and irrational ones. Worrying about being raped and murdered on a 5 minute walk to your house is an irrational one. As much as the media tries to hype this situation up, Australia is a safe country. I will continue going for walks late at night whenever I see fit.

sometimes I get paranoid to walk alone during the day - once when I was walking to my usual bus stop to go to Chjadstone and a car pulled up with a man (looked a little suss) asking directions to Chadstone then he asked where I was headed and I said Chadstone then he said "want a lift?" and I said "nah ill be fine thanks"

"really?"
"I dont mind travelling"
"aw cmon"
"no really I am fine."

I remember having my back against the glass wall of the bus stop thinking he'd get out of the car but he eventually drove off when another man came to the bus stop

I just find it sad that things like this can happen during the day

What are you suggesting? That the man who offered you a lift home was a serial killer? I highly doubt he was. Chances are, he was a polite man trying to help you, but you refused on the grounds that you have trust issues. I've gotten in the car with strangers about 10 times and never had a problem with any of them. I'm not suggesting that you do the same, but strangers are not necessarily dangerous people (only a small proportion are). You shouldn't judge people that you don't know.

[Russ]

What are you suggesting? That the man who offered you a lift home was a serial killer? I highly doubt he was. Chances are, he was a polite man trying to help you, but you refused on the grounds that you have trust issues.

Yes, not accepting lifts from strangers comes under the heading of "trust issues" -.-

[Special At Specialist]

What are you suggesting? That the man who offered you a lift home was a serial killer? I highly doubt he was. Chances are, he was a polite man trying to help you, but you refused on the grounds that you have trust issues.

Yes, not accepting lifts from strangers comes under the heading of "trust issues" -.-

If you want to quote me, take the whole quote, not just a section of it. I said:

I'm not suggesting that you do the same, but strangers are not necessarily dangerous people (only a small proportion are). You shouldn't judge people that you don't know.

But technically speaking, you're right. It is a trust issue. In an ideal society, we would be able to take lifts from strangers and nothing would go wrong.

[Starlight]

I like to look at things from a probability perspective. The chance of being raped and murdered on a walk home at night are less than 1 in 1,000,000. I'm not going to let an extremely rare, isolated, freak incident like this discourage me from walking around at night.

Did you know that the chance of you dying in a car crash is over 1000 times more likely than the chance that you will be murdered? That doesn't mean that we should be paranoid about getting in a car.

There are rational fears and irrational ones. Worrying about being raped and murdered on a 5 minute walk to your house is an irrational one. As much as the media tries to hype this situation up, Australia is a safe country. I will continue going for walks late at night whenever I see fit.

sometimes I get paranoid to walk alone during the day - once when I was walking to my usual bus stop to go to Chjadstone and a car pulled up with a man (looked a little suss) asking directions to Chadstone then he asked where I was headed and I said Chadstone then he said "want a lift?" and I said "nah ill be fine thanks"

"really?"
"I dont mind travelling"
"aw cmon"
"no really I am fine."

I remember having my back against the glass wall of the bus stop thinking he'd get out of the car but he eventually drove off when another man came to the bus stop

I just find it sad that things like this can happen during the day

What are you suggesting? That the man who offered you a lift home was a serial killer? I highly doubt he was. Chances are, he was a polite man trying to help you, but you refused on the grounds that you have trust issues. I've gotten in the car with strangers about 10 times and never had a problem with any of them. I'm not suggesting that you do the same, but strangers are not necessarily dangerous people (only a small proportion are). You shouldn't judge people that you don't know.

Wow you think you can trust a complete stranger? If you look at furbob's post more closely with the dialogue between her and the male, the male is incredibly persistent in asking for a lift. If that doesn't count as suspicious, i don't know what is.

[brenden]

Seems to be adhering more to the principles of 'stranger danger' than trust issues lol.
I wouldn't really call him polite either. Manners would dictate not really pushing hte matter with a teenage girl at a bus stop to get in your car. That seems more forceful.

[Special At Specialist]

If you look at furbob's post more closely with the dialogue between her and the male, the male is incredibly persistent in asking for a lift. If that doesn't count as suspicious, i don't know what is.

Hmm I can see your point. Maybe if he just asked once and then drove off it would've been better.

[Eriny]

What are you suggesting? That the man who offered you a lift home was a serial killer? I highly doubt he was. Chances are, he was a polite man trying to help you, but you refused on the grounds that you have trust issues.

Yes, not accepting lifts from strangers comes under the heading of "trust issues" -.-

If you want to quote me, take the whole quote, not just a section of it. I said:

I'm not suggesting that you do the same, but strangers are not necessarily dangerous people (only a small proportion are). You shouldn't judge people that you don't know.

But technically speaking, you're right. It is a trust issue. In an ideal society, we would be able to take lifts from strangers and nothing would go wrong.

Women are inculcated into thinking that we're constantly under threat from men. Don't blame Furbob for being fearful - blame a culture/media that wants her to be fearful.
Also agree with the persistence thing.

I once accepted a ride from a stranger. I was in Arizona and if I didn't I'd probably still be wandering about in the desert (it's a long story). It felt totally wrong and went against everything I've ever been told, but probabilistically and in relation to how lost I was, it was the right choice. Plus, he drove a Rolls Royce! (does that make it better?)

[ShortBlackChick]

Was watching the evening news with the parentals and my dad asked me whose fault it was. I said it was the murderers fault. And he and my mum said no it was the girls fault, she shouldnt have been walking alone at that time of the night. I can understand where they are coming from, it just isnt safe for women to be alone at that time of the night. It would be idealistic to believe that the streets of Melbourne are safe at night. Perhaps if we lived in a perfect world then it would fine, but thats obviously not going to happen.

Although it probably didnt help that I got home at 2 last night

[Felicity Wishes]

Was watching the evening news with the parentals and my dad asked me whose fault it was. I said it was the murderers fault. And he and my mum said no it was the girls fault, she shouldnt have been walking alone at that time of the night. I can understand where they are coming from, it just isnt safe for women to be alone at that time of the night. It would be idealistic to believe that the streets of Melbourne are safe at night. Perhaps if we lived in a perfect world then it would fine, but thats obviously not going to happen.

Although it probably didnt help that I got home at 2 last night

I see where they are coming from as well but a murder can't be justified by a 'well, it's her fault because she was out late'.
I don't know. It's just horrible. Her poor, poor family.

[MonsieurHulot]

Was watching the evening news with the parentals and my dad asked me whose fault it was. I said it was the murderers fault. And he and my mum said no it was the girls fault, she shouldnt have been walking alone at that time of the night. I can understand where they are coming from, it just isnt safe for women to be alone at that time of the night. It would be idealistic to believe that the streets of Melbourne are safe at night. Perhaps if we lived in a perfect world then it would fine, but thats obviously not going to happen.

Although it probably didnt help that I got home at 2 last night

Their opinion, in my opinion, is a defeatist and blame-shifting attitude. It's defeatist because it promotes the view that there will always be rapists and if you are raped then you must have done something wrong. Shifting the blame to someone who has been raped and murdered is pretty horrible. The only person whose fault it was is the person who felt it acceptable to commit two of the worst, if not the worst, crimes in our society.

[JellyDonut]

If a guy broke into my home, murdered my family and made me watch. Would I be in the wrong for not filling my lawn with landmines?

[DisaFear]

If a guy broke into my home, murdered my family and made me watch. Would I be in the wrong for not filling my lawn with landmines?

I would support you all the way

Is it true that if someone breaks into your house, you can't use force to subdue them? I remember once a few years back, one of our neighbours were broken into while they were out. And they complained about the police saying "not using force" or something

Can a criminal sue you for breaking a bone of theirs?

That is stupid. They must consider all risks before deciding to break into a house.