Can someone lovely please read my introduction and give me advice?

[KristyDanielle]

'Virginia Woolf's Mrs Dalloway is set in the heart of post World War 1 London, across a single June day in 1925. Woolf uses a 'stream-of-consciousness' writing style to shift from the perspectives of various characters in the novel, such as those of Clarissa Dalloway, Peter Walsh and Septimus Warren-Smith. It is through Woolf's highly analytical and perceptive examination of the characters that we develop a deep understanding of their inner, most concealed, yet most genuine thoughts and feelings; demonstrating Woolf's recognition of how repression in a post-war society can cause both silent suffering, yet a greater appreciation for life.'

What can I improve/change? What do you think?

[Lolly]

I don't do intros anymore, but I'll see if I can help. 

On the whole I'd say this is pretty darn good - you've introduced the novel's main ideas and what you're going to talk about in a general sense. However a few things- you've mentioned the techniques Woolf uses and what they demonstrate, but I think you can expand on this. Take this part: "repression in a post war society can cause both silent suffering, yet a greater appreciation for life"- this is great stuff but for an introduction you could make it a lot punchier! The suffering experienced by characters isn't just that, it's this relentless despair to the point of considering death;on the other hand, their appreciation of life is at times utterly ecstatic. So i guess what i'm saying is use stronger language and extend your ideas For example, you haven't explained how or why post war society represses these emotions- you could fix this by making an overarching comment eg: how the structure of society dehumanizes the individual. Then again I could be reading too much into this; it's only your introduction, after all. :p

 Just nitpicking: don't put a semicolon in the last sentence. Either split up your ideas into separate sentences or use a comma. I wouldn't use"we" either, though I'm only suggesting this because I was told to avoid it.  Use "the audience" or " the reader" instead.

[Funkyy007]

Good expression

[brenden]

Yeah I don't like the semi-colon. It sounds pretty good to me though (English Student)

[Bhootnike]

whats wrong with the semi - colon


but yeah. i guess if you broke it up and and wrote.. "This demonstrates..."

[brenden]

It's a mark stronger than a comma when a comma would suffice. And semi-colons are generally used for two very similar but different ideas.
Eg. "Some people hate physics; some revel in it."
Physics is the common subject but the differences in love/hate for Physics could warrant a semi-colon. In using a semi-colon and then saying 'demonstrating', the second idea which should be different to the pre-semi-colon idea is automatically related in a way that a comma or ". This demonstrates". IMO anyway.

[EvangelionZeta]

It's a mark stronger than a comma when a comma would suffice. And semi-colons are generally used for two very similar but different ideas.
Eg. "Some people hate physics; some revel in it."
Physics is the common subject but the differences in love/hate for Physics could warrant a semi-colon. In using a semi-colon and then saying 'demonstrating', the second idea which should be different to the pre-semi-colon idea is automatically related in a way that a comma or ". This demonstrates". IMO anyway.

That's overcomplicating it - semi-colons are just used to link two clauses which share a subject.  The ideas don't have to be explicitly contrasting (although if you have two clauses that are not joined by a comma they'll PROBABLY be different anyway).

Re: the OP, I am just not a fan of introductions in Lit essays in general - there is no expectation of form in Lit, and literally all you have to do is analyse the passages and use them to interpret the text as a whole.  Sometimes it might be good to outline your key ideas in the intro, but the first half of your intro (ie. introducing the text and the style) is pretty much redundant, since it doesn't tell the examiner anything other than that you know what the text is about broadly.

[brenden]

Fair enough - that's just how I instinctively use semi-colons. I didn't mean for it to be such a contrast but the example was pretty poor. 

[Bhootnike]

The use of the semi colon is a dying trend, and so people dont know how to use it as well.
so imo, if you know how to use it,  theres a chance it may impress the assessor..!

[Lolly]

I swear I'm just going to end up convoluting everything though.

[Bhootnike]

learn how to use it efficiently  guess :p
Thushan makes good use of it in his ENL essays and in his books/notes. try reading some of that.
I really reckon if you can pull it off it can make your writing seem much more pro and impressive.

[Lolly]

learn how to use it efficiently  guess :p
Thushan makes good use of it in his ENL essays and in his books/notes. try reading some of that.
I really reckon if you can pull it off it can make your writing seem much more pro and impressive.

I tried but I don't like it...

"Furthermore, with the figurative language “the world has raised its whip; where will it descend?” the audience understands the oppressiveness of a society lacking in empathy; indeed, Septimus’ “terror” at beholding conformity, “the gradual drawing together of everything to one centre”,  presents him as both an isolate and a subordinated victim."

It sounds convoluted and meh.

Hi Thushan.  Would you care to share with me the beauty of semicolons?

[Bhootnike]

learn how to use it efficiently  guess :p
Thushan makes good use of it in his ENL essays and in his books/notes. try reading some of that.
I really reckon if you can pull it off it can make your writing seem much more pro and impressive.

I tried but I don't like it...

"Furthermore, with the figurative language “the world has raised its whip; where will it descend?” the audience understands the oppressiveness of a society lacking in empathy; indeed, Septimus’ “terror” at beholding conformity, “the gradual drawing together of everything to one centre”,  presents him as both an isolate and a subordinated victim."

It sounds convoluted and meh.

Hi Thushan.  Would you care to share with me the beauty of semicolons?

its not the semi-colon that does that i reckon, id say its more the quotation marks :p

edit.

use of the SC looks fine to me loz!

[brightsky]

It's a mark stronger than a comma when a comma would suffice. And semi-colons are generally used for two very similar but different ideas.
Eg. "Some people hate physics; some revel in it."
Physics is the common subject but the differences in love/hate for Physics could warrant a semi-colon. In using a semi-colon and then saying 'demonstrating', the second idea which should be different to the pre-semi-colon idea is automatically related in a way that a comma or ". This demonstrates". IMO anyway.

That's overcomplicating it - semi-colons are just used to link two clauses which share a subject.  The ideas don't have to be explicitly contrasting (although if you have two clauses that are not joined by a comma they'll PROBABLY be different anyway).

Re: the OP, I am just not a fan of introductions in Lit essays in general - there is no expectation of form in Lit, and literally all you have to do is analyse the passages and use them to interpret the text as a whole.  Sometimes it might be good to outline your key ideas in the intro, but the first half of your intro (ie. introducing the text and the style) is pretty much redundant, since it doesn't tell the examiner anything other than that you know what the text is about broadly.

this. clause following semicolon informs clause preceding it. i like chocolate; chocolate tastes good.

and yeah avoid using semicolons if you think it's making your writing convoluted. always best to break mammoth sentences up into shorter and sharper ones.