If anyone would be as so kind to provide some feedback for my Language Use Analysis, it would be greatly appreciated. I wrote it under timed conditions and typed it [sic] so that is why it is quote short :/ Thanks in advance!
VATE 2012 – “Friendship and Focus in the Slow Lane”
In addressing the Year 12’s at a “Wellbeing Retreat” initiating the school year, school counsellor Ms Alison Layne uses a concerned, yet at times jocular tone throughout her speech, accompanied by linguistic persuasive techniques and two pertinent images, to contend to the Year 12’s of Alwell College the importance of making sensible decisions and the significance of having responsible friends in their final year of school.
Layne immediately establishes the overall serious tone of her fore coming speech in her introduction to the Year 12’s, stressing the “significance” of the year in which they will undertake a “profound transition- from adolescence to adulthood”. By including the students in her speech early on through the use of “we” and “our”, Layne draws the Year 12 students into her argument at an early stage. As it is fundamental human nature to belong to a large group, the students are unlikely to object to the inclusion of themselves in their counsellors contentions.
After outlining the theme of her speech, Layne’s first image accompanies her initial stanza. The photo, bursting with school leavers in a crowded party venue, provokes feelings of excitement in the students as they envisage themselves in a similar situation in only nine months time. Layne immediately disperses these emotions however, as she implores the students take a closer look at the photo that reveals certain individuals appearing isolated and somewhat dozed in the overcrowded environment. The use of the pertinent image, so applicable to many of the students who have booked their end of year vacations, aims to force the students to seriously question the importance of making sensible decisions during their time of great celebration and juxtaposition of the initial excitement and then of concern for the school leavers in the photo further emphasises Layne’s urges to the students surround themselves with responsible friends and for the students to be “looking out for each other”.
Subsequent to her calls for the students ponder the importance of each other’s friendships, Layne includes an anecdote applicable to the majority of the year level, to accentuate the importance of making sensible decisions in the final year of school. Before retelling the story, Layne invites the audience to put their hands up if they are close to receiving their probationary license, and incudes an alliterative quip about the “pitfalls of parallel parking” that lightens the tone. The inclusion of the joke is aimed at drawing respect from the audience who, being year 12 students at a school retreat, may be apprehensive about listening to such a serious speech, whilst the invitation further includes the students in Layne’s arguments by highlighting the pertinence of the coming anecdote. Layne then proceeds by recounting the events of year 12 student, “Phil”, who “crashed the family car into a telephone pole and blew .077 in a subsequent breathtest.” The somewhat “depressing story” positions the audience to respond on an emotional level as ‘Phil’s’ nightmare could quite possibly happen to them as they will be faced with similar situations to the ones ‘Phil’ was exposed to. The second slide of a mangled luxury sports car poignantly accompanies the anecdote and offers the year 12 students a tangible reminder of the repercussions of making irresponsible decisions, further underscoring Layne’s main contention that sensible friends and decisions are imperative in the final year of school.
It is at this stage in the speech that Layne continues with the theme of driving and utilises the metaphor of living year 12 in the fast lane. Layne explores the likely feelings of the majority of the year 12’s in front of her of wanting to “get through SAC’s quickly” and wanting the “academic year to go quickly”, much like driving a very fast vehicle. It is probable the students in front of Layne will hear thoughts similar to their own and this positions the students perfectly to then seriously consider Layne’s next point due to the apposite lead in. Layne outline’s freedoms the students will obtain over the course of the year, “getting a license, drinking alcohol, going out to bars” but immediately follows these freedoms with a warning about the “negative impact on (the) health and safety” of the students that can come about as a result of these liberties. The warning becomes even more resonant in the minds of the students as a result of its subsequence after the excitement evoking mention of such prospective activities, and further emphasises Layne’s reminder to the students to “slow down” and choose “good friends who have (the students’) best interest at heart”.
With a return to the initial slide of the “Schoolies” Layne leaves the audience with a reminder about the importance of their decisions throughout their final year. By utilising a range of persuasive techniques and pertinent images, Layne delivers the Year 12 students with a resonant message to “slow down, and savour every minute of what will no doubt be one of the most exciting years of (their) lives.”
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