Doing really badly as of late. My school sets pretty hard SACS but I am just fucking up massively lately, kind of giving up and not caring anymore.
English: 12/20, 24/30, 13/20 and will probably get 10/30 for my most recent context which I just wrote an irrelevant story because I had no clue. I was ranked a little above average before the last SAC which was an absolute joke, I just wrote a story I had no idea how to write an essay without retelling.
Psychology: 19.92/26.92, 18.85/26.92, 9.85/16.5 and hopefully for the last one I get around 25/35. Ranked around last out of 40.
Economics: 88.75%, 100% (I think it was actually around 97%), then for the big SAC I got 24.67/40 which I knew everything and don't understand how I dropped any marks and I have an Economics SAC in 4 hours which I'm learning everything now and hopefully (but disappointingly) I can pull off a 65-70%.
Global Politics: 41/50, 40/50. Went through my SACS with my teacher personally yesterday trying to work out why I lost marks and I still don't understand how I have dropped 19 marks. He gives me marks which I tell him I don't deserve, yet takes off marks by telling me I don't have the 'best' example, when he tells us to find our own unique examples. Very frustrating but still happy I guess with the scores.
Legal Studies: 18/20, 19/20, 29/30, 24/25. Although I'm a mile above everyone else as far as I know, I still don't get how I have lost any marks except on my 18/20 SAC but not complaining.
Apart from Legal Studies I am actually gone for all my subjects now. When I fuck up once I just give up because my rank takes a hit and I go so low. In retrospect all these marks are only worth 25% but they aren't really, they attribute to a rank which I have suffered an ability to climb back up again. It is just such bullshit. I am just so stupid. Everything could easily be fixed if I did hours of study when I get home at night, but here I am on the day of a SAC and 4am trying to learn all the content for my SAC in a handful of hours despite knowing that I am going to do terribly. I have problems. Better yet, I've gone to a school that costs around 25 grand for the past 13 year of my life and just to fuck up here is just bullshit and i only have myself to blame. First I wanted to get a 96 ATAR for ANU PPE, but that is out the window. Then I wanted Uni Melb Arts which is ~94 which is long gone now. Now I want an 86 ATAR for Monash Business Marketing/Management but even that is a long-shot now. I know now that I've dug myself so bloody deep into the ground that I am going to pick up next term, actually get a tutor for something like English but I've just damaged everything beyond repair. There is no worse feeling knowing you have the capabilities and being told by all your teachers you have capabilities which they've seen, but just sitting in class literally in another place for 6 hours a day doing absolutely nothing, learning nothing, wasting time.
My social life has taken a fuckin' hit as well, although I don't mind much. On weekends I always tell myself that I will study and to forget about everything else because this can directly affect my career, and a little partying and what not isn't worth it, but in reality I'll just sit at home watching movies or going to the footy. I just sit on my fucking ass. FUCKKKKKKKK.
EDIT: Ended up falling to sleep to 'The Bookthief Audiobook' for the past three hours, so I'm gone. May as well sign my VCE away now from me and resign to a <86. effemmell.