Proof-read an essay please?

[alondouek]

It's a bit of a long shot, but could someone please give this essay a once-over to make sure there aren't any glaring structural/referencing issues (or simply that I'm not making sense at any point)? Ref style is CSIRO and the overarching theme is misuse of antimicrobial agents.

Here's a pdf of the essay. Much appreciated!

[brenden]

Looks good man! I have a personal vendetta against too many dashes but they're fine. You know what you're doing anyway.
Definitely consider your last sentence. It starts building to a grat finish, the semi-colon makes it that bit more intense for something amazing BUT! Then the double 'and' just takes away te boom and it's just "oh". I know there's not much exciting about "people need to stop being shit trucks when they take meds", but I'd remove the double and. Nice work (ps didn't check referencing)

[alondouek]

Thanks Brenden, u da man. I switched it to:

In order to control and prevent antibiotic resistance, the onus is on medical professionals to prescribe antimicrobial drugs responsibly; on pharmaceutical companies to maintain a high standard of drug production and quality, and on the general public to seek professional medical consultation when required, thereby reducing the prevalence of self-medication with antibiotics.

It doesn't exactly have flair, but it's the best I can come up with lol

Sound good?

[brenden]

Yep, nice!