comment on my oral presentation ?

[Robert243]

I have an English oral presentation , the topic given by our teacher is should marijuana be legalized ? (a topic which took me hours to write about).
My speech hast to be around two to three minutes , and i must provide a solution .
So this is my speech

Good morning today i'll be doing my presentation on why marijuana should be legalized .

Marijuana should be legalized in Australia, for a few simple and logical reasons. Most people who ever come across marijuana, and use it, mostly do so because of peer pressure; they don’t want to let themselves down in front of their friends.  If marijuana was sold legally, this would eliminate the “drug culture” between some friendship groups. Also,billions of hard earned taxpayer dollars are wasted every year purely on attempting to enforce anti-marijuana laws. Finally, there is no significant proof that marijuana is worse for humans than either alcohol or tobacco, and there are many important medical uses for it.

Peer pressure is a major factor why people, especially teenagers, consume marijuana. If marijuana were to be made legal, it would not be seen as exciting or rebellious to take it, and therefore, rates of use would significantly decrease. Although this does not stop people addicted to marijuana because of the “high” from taking it, the legalisation of marijuana will be an effective deterrent for an abundance if thrill seekers who credit approval from their friends, as the drug would not be considered as “cool” as before.

Billions of taxpayer dollars are spent every year, on enforcing laws against the consumption and sale of marijuana. Every year in the U.S.A alone, 750,000 people are being arrested for the possession of marijuana. Not only are gigantic amounts of money being converted into sunk costs, but court cases regarding the possession of marijuana are taking up room for more important cases such as ones to do with murder, manslaughter or rape.We cannot allow our money which we work  for to be spent on this “Can of worms”.

There is no proof that the side effects of consuming marijuana are worse than those of consuming tobacco or alcohol. In fact, worldwide, 0 deaths have been directly related to marijuana overdose, only when used with other, more potent drugs. According to the Centre for Disease Control and Protection, this is compared to a whopping 443,000 deaths from lung cancers, bronchitis or other such illnesses caused by smoking, just in the United States, that’s one in every 5 deaths! Also, marijuana has many medical purposes, and can help ease  serious conditions when used correctly. Some of these include: Asthma, Anorexia, Back pain, Arthritis, Cocaine dependence, HIV, Impotence, Muscle spasms and even some forms of cancer!

A solution for legalising Marijuana would be to  only allow it to be sold in pharmacies , were people who need it for medical purposes can get it with a legitimate doctor’s certificate. That way we wouldn’t need the public to pay taxes to enforce anti marijuana laws .


Off course,  marijuana is not a perfectly safe drug that has absolutely no side effects. But in comparison with other drugs that are available all over the world like alcohol and tobacco, it is much less harmful and all the benefits far outweigh the negatives.

[Juan!]

imo its more about how you present it, you should try make it more engaging for the 'audience'

[Robert243]

So like eye contact and a loud voice ...

[jeanweasley]

So like eye contact and a loud voice ...

Yes, sort of, but presentation is more than that. It's how you use your voice; is it persuasive, can it make the audience believe into what you're believing?

Just skimming the first sentences, you jump too fast to the issue without actually drawing the audiences in. I suggest trying to paint a picture about the benefits of legalising marijuana then jump into your arguments. Also, it may be useful to adopt a persona just to give your oral a bit of flair. Good luck

[Robert243]

Yes, sort of, but presentation is more than that. It's how you use your voice; is it persuasive, can it make the audience believe into what you're believing?

Just skimming the first sentences, you jump too fast to the issue without actually drawing the audiences in. I suggest trying to paint a picture about the benefits of legalising marijuana then jump into your arguments. Also, it may be useful to adopt a persona just to give your oral a bit of flair. Good luck

thanks a lot really good advice

[pi]

Whilst this is somewhat informative, I can't see it building any sort of rapport with the audience. It needs a new start that's more engaging imo.

[Robert243]

Whilst this is somewhat informative, I can't see it building any sort of rapport with the audience. It needs a new start that's more engaging imo.

So i dont need to say good morning or anything like that , can i just get on with the topic from the first second

[pi]

So i dont need to say good morning or anything like that , can i just get on with the topic from the first second

You can if you want, really depends on your style. Personally I like to start with the issue, but not like how you've gone "Marijuana should be legalized in Australia, for a few simple and logical reasons". To me, that's not really engaging, it's pretty dry. Maybe start off with a quote, or a series of questions or something a little creative, something that can draw your audience in on the issue.

You're only a year 9, so plenty of time to improve on this sort of stuff

[Robert243]

You can if you want, really depends on your style. Personally I like to start with the issue, but not like how you've gone "Marijuana should be legalized in Australia, for a few simple and logical reasons". To me, that's not really engaging, it's pretty dry. Maybe start off with a quote, or a series of questions or something a little creative, something that can draw your audience in on the issue.

You're only a year 9, so plenty of time to improve on this sort of stuff

thanks

[vox nihili]

I have an English oral presentation , the topic given by our teacher is should marijuana be legalized ? (a topic which took me hours to write about).
My speech hast to be around two to three minutes , and i must provide a solution .
So this is my speech

Good morning today i'll be doing my presentation on why marijuana should be legalized .

Marijuana should be legalized in Australia, for a few simple and logical reasons. Most people who ever come across marijuana, and use it, mostly do so because of peer pressure; they don’t want to let themselves down in front of their friends.  If marijuana was sold legally, this would eliminate the “drug culture” between some friendship groups. Also,billions of hard earned taxpayer dollars are wasted every year purely on attempting to enforce anti-marijuana laws. Finally, there is no significant proof that marijuana is worse for humans than either alcohol or tobacco, and there are many important medical uses for it.

Peer pressure is a major factor why people, especially teenagers, consume marijuana. If marijuana were to be made legal, it would not be seen as exciting or rebellious to take it, and therefore, rates of use would significantly decrease. Although this does not stop people addicted to marijuana because of the “high” from taking it, the legalisation of marijuana will be an effective deterrent for an abundance if thrill seekers who credit approval from their friends, as the drug would not be considered as “cool” as before.

Billions of taxpayer dollars are spent every year, on enforcing laws against the consumption and sale of marijuana. Every year in the U.S.A alone, 750,000 people are being arrested for the possession of marijuana. Not only are gigantic amounts of money being converted into sunk costs, but court cases regarding the possession of marijuana are taking up room for more important cases such as ones to do with murder, manslaughter or rape.We cannot allow our money which we work  for to be spent on this “Can of worms”.

There is no proof that the side effects of consuming marijuana are worse than those of consuming tobacco or alcohol. In fact, worldwide, 0 deaths have been directly related to marijuana overdose, only when used with other, more potent drugs. According to the Centre for Disease Control and Protection, this is compared to a whopping 443,000 deaths from lung cancers, bronchitis or other such illnesses caused by smoking, just in the United States, that’s one in every 5 deaths! Also, marijuana has many medical purposes, and can help ease  serious conditions when used correctly. Some of these include: Asthma, Anorexia, Back pain, Arthritis, Cocaine dependence, HIV, Impotence, Muscle spasms and even some forms of cancer!

A solution for legalising Marijuana would be to  only allow it to be sold in pharmacies , were people who need it for medical purposes can get it with a legitimate doctor’s certificate. That way we wouldn’t need the public to pay taxes to enforce anti marijuana laws .


Off course,  marijuana is not a perfectly safe drug that has absolutely no side effects. But in comparison with other drugs that are available all over the world like alcohol and tobacco, it is much less harmful and all the benefits far outweigh the negatives.

You're on the right track, though there are definitely some gaping holes here and some things that you could definitely touch up. First of all, you're trying to be persuasive, so don't say "marijuana is not a perfectly safe drug". Yes this is true, though it is contrary to your case. The only time you should ever introduce an argument against yourself is if you're going to argue against it harder. I'd also object to comparing it to tobacco and alcohol. It is well known that tobacco and alcohol cause huge issues and it has been an objective of government to reduce the consumption of both for a very long time, so I would caution against putting marijuana in the same category. To me all you really highlight with that is the need to ban alcohol and tobacco, rather than to introduce another potentially harmful substance into the market.

Use Australian facts too. Some of the things that you've said in your speech simply don't apply to Australia. I'm also not convinced that they apply to the US either. For example, Australia definitely does not spend billions of dollars a year dealing with marijuana. That is a very blatant lie I'm afraid. I'd also suggest caution when you look at the US, because the US has legalised marijuana in a number of states and in various contexts. It's completely legal in the District of Colombia, and indeed, in many states it's legal for medicinal purposes.

Ok those are some issues to iron out BUT there are actually some real strengths with what you've written. I really like that you've spoken about the social context of drugs. I'm not entirely sure that I agree with your argument, however, I would have to do a bit of work to refute it (what does this tell us? It tells us that it is definitely an argument worth making). Legalising it does take away a bit of the edge of it and in some cases that could function as a deterrent, so it's certainly a valid point—though I probably would argue that alcohol has a legal status yet still garners that 'edge' but that's just my opinion and irrelevant—it is a good point to make! Talking about the medicinal purposes of marijuana is actually a really good way to go. It'd be really great if you could expand this argument a bit and see if you can inject some emotion into it. As far as pain relief goes, marijuana is actually a very safe and effective form of pain relief. A good comparison to make here could be between marijuana and morphine. Morphine is an opiate and is, chemically, nearly identical to heroin. The side effects and the addictiveness of morphine is far, far worse than marijuana. Definitely a strong point to make I think. There are also heaps of stats related to marijuana as a medical treatment so see if you can dig some of that up!

Take home message: on the right track, but like every speech can be tweaked

[MM1]

Would anyone be willing to comment on my oral as well? I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

[vox nihili]

Would anyone be willing to comment on my oral as well? I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

Send it through (Y)

[Robert243]

Would anyone be willing to comment on my oral as well? I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

Yeah send it throught