Social expectations surrounding relationships.

[psyxwar]

Maybe the source of my inability to comprehend this, is because I personally don't care about people thoughts, whereas others do. If I were a woman, and I was demonised for being sexually free, I could simply not care less haha.

I can't imagine it being easy if it seems like all of society is against what you're doing. This is also why many homosexuals "stay in the closet"... humans are social creatures, and generally care a lot about how others perceive them.

[Hancock]

As someone who's been in a relationship for 3.5 years with the same girl, saying people get "mad because it's social convention" after someone cheats is absolute bullshit. By entering in a monogamous relationship with someone, you've agreed to be faithful in regards to exclusivity in sexual activities. I realize that you have limited experiences in LTR and hence are asking, but stating something as brazen as this just make me legitimately angry.

Also, 1000 post. Part of the furniture now.

[Chazef]

we're certainly on the brink of a huge social mind-shift regarding female promiscuity, to the extent that it's now considered feminist by many for a girl to have multiple sexual partners. Also consider there are many people who just don't care about what girls do with their own bodies, so basically things are looking up for those who want unimpeded sexual freedom. Even just looking around some atarnotes threads, any posts that suggest it's wrong (or even just personally unappealing) for girls to be promiscuous get slammed pretty hard by the community

[brenden]

As someone who's been in a relationship for 3.5 years with the same girl, saying people get "mad because it's social convention" after someone cheats is absolute bullshit. By entering in a monogamous relationship with someone, you've agreed to be faithful in regards to exclusivity in sexual activities. I realize that you have limited experiences in LTR and hence are asking, but stating something as brazen as this just make me legitimately angry.

Also, 1000 post. Part of the furniture now.

Yeah, exactly. (Minus the anger). It's a breach of trust.

, any posts that suggest it's wrong for girls to be promiscuous get slammed pretty hard by the community

Rightly so lol.

[Chazef]

I'ts certainly wrong to assert that it's wrong to be promiscuous but I saw someone who just said they found it personally unappealing and I can't see a problem with that. I probably share his preference for less promiscuous girls but I fully support a woman's sexual freedom

[brenden]

Yeah I can understand that. I'm pretty conservative (no politically, just in the sense that it took me a fortnight to pucker up the courage to peck t girlfriend on the lips) so is probably look for something similar. I still think it could be indicative of the way our society is though. I mean, would we really have less of a preference for promiscuous women if we were taught unequivocally to celebrate sex regardless of gender?

[Chazef]

as I said in my earlier comment, the prejudice has evolutionary routes but I'm not sure to what extent that prejudice would be overcome by being educated against from a young age. Obviously something's currently working considering how many people are now fine with gender equality in sexual freedom

[Chazef]

btw I also have severe anxiety when it comes to girls, I remember the fear of going for my first kiss was like a knife going into my stomach haha

[brenden]

btw I also have severe anxiety when it comes to girls, I remember the fear of going for my first kiss was like a knife going into my stomach haha

I'm dubious at the validity (meant in the scientific sense) of your example.

[Chazef]

yeah I'm using anxiety in the non-scientific sense (I think, I've never actually gone and tested for it)

[TimewaveZero]

If I were in a relationship, and was cheated on myself, I wouldn't be angry. I understand that restricting sexual exploration can be somewhat, what's the word, detrimental I guess.

Although, I can see why people do get upset, due to a level of trust being broken. But the way I look at it, if you don't create that trust-boundary in the first place, then it doesn't create a problem. I guess people differ in their idea of a relationship.

[Hancock]

Sounds more like an open relationship to me. Have you ever been in a long term thing?

[Tasmania Jones]

I've had 0 experience of being in a relationship (lol  ) but I don't know why promiscuous men are somehow applauded but promiscuous women are ostracised. In my opinion both are as bad as each other.

[Chazef]

  I don't know why promiscuous men are somehow applauded but promiscuous women are ostracised. In my opinion both are as bad as each other.

BTW fun fact: women are more likely to be denigrated for sexual promiscuity than men because men need to know that their kid is their own so they can pass on their genes; and women who have sex with multiple partners have a higher chance of having a child whose biological father isn't the same as the parental father. So yeah women care more about men having personal fidelity so they stick around to raise the kid and men care more about sexual fidelity so they know their kid is their own; it's all about dem genes. Anyway this is the evo-psych perspective (or as best as I can recall it) and although clearly society has improved to surpass our evolutionary ancestry, there's still no harm in investigating the past as explanations for some aspects of the present

[hobbitle]

There isn't anything wrong with an open relationship if both parties are privy to everything going on and know exactly what the rules are. It's possible to love someone wholly, have great sex, make them your 'soul mate' or whatever term you like but still experience being with other people once in a while. It's none of society's business how you conduct your own relationship, so long as it works for you.