VCE English Question Thread

[Callum@1373]

In regards to identity and belonging, does anyone know any people who have been in jail, promised to be good after a court hearing and then gotten back to crimes e.g murder after they are released? This is to talk about how often when people seem to have changed their identity it is just their public, displayed identity but not who they truly are on the inside 

[Ameliajanem]

Hey guys, i have a text response sac on next week and i was wondering how to approach structural prompts in terms of what ideas to base a paragraph on? like how do i do paragraphs for structural prompts?

[Champ101]

Hey Champ I sent you a message about your essay marking service - did you get it?

Hey Swagadaktal,
I did indeed receive your email, however, where I am the Internet connection is very poor - will get back to you shortly

[NerdyPi]

Hi guys, for the visual aspect of language analysis, I'm really struggling with this picture. The article is basically contending that although girls achieve fantastic high school results, this doesn't translate into workplace success. I'm guessing there's a glass wall / reference to glass ceiling, but I'm really unsure as there appears to be women on both the top and bottom of the staircase??? Any ideas/help would be appreciated

[vor0005]

Hi guys, for the visual aspect of language analysis, I'm really struggling with this picture. The article is basically contending that although girls achieve fantastic high school results, this doesn't translate into workplace success. I'm guessing there's a glass wall / reference to glass ceiling, but I'm really unsure as there appears to be women on both the top and bottom of the staircase??? Any ideas/help would be appreciated

It's just saying that men control the workforce and female positions in top jobs are at the male's discretion. The reason why there are women at the top is to highlight how the only way to make it to the top is by male approval (as indicated by the male who guards the stairs). Hope that makes sense.

[NerdyPi]

Thanks It definately cleared it up

[Rob16]

I seem to always be using "positioning the reader to..........." and other repetetive conjuctive words (furthermore, etc) in my language analysis and need to vary things up a bit. Does anyone have some kind of resource with a bunch of different vocabulary that they can share with me?

[literally lauren]

In regards to identity and belonging, does anyone know any people who have been in jail, promised to be good after a court hearing and then gotten back to crimes e.g murder after they are released? This is to talk about how often when people seem to have changed their identity it is just their public, displayed identity but not who they truly are on the inside 

This isn't exactly what you're looking for, but Robert Durst (about whom the awesome TV documentary 'The Jinx' was made) might be worth considering as an example of someone whose external/ projected identity was designed to mislead and gain the trust of others.

There's also Gary Gilmore who was a notorious repeat offender, and Jack Abbott who committed some minor offences, seemingly turned his life around, but then went back to prison after committing an even worse crime.

I'd be careful about letting an argument hinge on these individuals, though. Especially because most of these^ people were found by psychiatrists to be mentally unstable in some way. It's still fine to use them to support your discussion; just make sure you're not saying 'here's someone whose identity was a facade. Therefore, people's identities are often facades.' Perhaps use these individual cases to launch into a discussion of recidivism or the justice system if you need another facet to explore.

Hey guys, i have a text response sac on next week and i was wondering how to approach structural prompts in terms of what ideas to base a paragraph on? like how do i do paragraphs for structural prompts?

Turn that structural prompt into a non-structural prompt, and go from there

Eg. 'How does the author show the dangers of rebelling against authority in the text?'
--> The author suggests that rebelling against authority is dangerous in the text. Discuss.

...then each paragraph is centred around a relevant thematic/ V&V concern.

Some prompts are a little less malleable, especially if they're mentioning specific devices, but try to see structural features as evidence and not the basis for your ideas. So if you had something like

'How does the language of the text reveal the differences between men and women?'

...you would NOT want a paragraph breakdown like:
P1: here's how the metaphors reveal the differences between men and women
P2: here's how the epithets reveal the differences between men and women
P3: here's how the dialogue reveals the differences between men and women

Instead, use those features as supporting evidence within those body paragraphs and extrapolate ideas from them.

For example, if, in P1 above, I wanted to talk about how the metaphors in the text are used by male characters as a means of subtly reminding female characters that they are inferior, I would take that idea as my focus.

i.e.
P1: Throughout the text, many of the female characters are left disenfranchised and subjugated by their male counterparts.
^with that topic sentence outlining a clear thematic focus, I could then use the metaphor stuff as the supporting evidence.

Hope that makes sense; let me know if there's a specific structural prompt that's confusing you and I can try and outline some strategies

I seem to always be using "positioning the reader to..........." and other repetetive conjuctive words (furthermore, etc) in my language analysis and need to vary things up a bit. Does anyone have some kind of resource with a bunch of different vocabulary that they can share with me?

Yarp. See attachment. It's by no means conclusive, so I'd highly recommend adding to it as you go so you can create your own repository of good words/ sentences/ sentence structures.

[japanese]

Hi everyone!

What psychology areas would be suitable for Identity and Belonging?
Such as social psychology and within that conformity.

Thanks!~

[HopefulLawStudent]

Heyyyy.

Quick question.

If someone refers to someone by the wrong name (like calling someone "Joan" instead of "Jane"), is that a misnomer? Like does that count? I get what misnomers are in general but I'm just iffy as to whether this would be an example of a misnomer...

[kimmytaaa]

Hi
I have a problem with language analysis, for language analysis I thought we write it similar to year 11 hence I am a bit confused . My teacher wrote this on the board analyzing Andrew Bolt's article 'it's a smokescreen', but I don't understand what he is trying to say. I showed it to my tutor (a current teacher as well) and he said this is full of bullshit and that my teacher should have made it more simply so that the whole class understands in which he guarantees that no one understands this. My tutor said that my teacher is only teaching 1 or 2 students in class, because this is only used for elite students (A+ students) not ordinary students like me. Tbh I am finding the vocabs a bit difficult. What do you guys think? All opinions are welcome

My teacher's analysis of Andrew Bolt's
The issue on decriminalising recreational drug use, motivated by social and international trends, has been recently debated in media circles. One piece, Andrew Bolt’s IT’S A SMOKESCREEN (Herald Sun, April 5th, 2012), contends that if drugs are legalised, ‘more people are likely to use them.’ The editor persuades in an enthusiastic style that adopts foremost sarcasm, ridicule and patronising flavour. Bolt’s craft appeals to both individuals with insight towards current government policies and initiatives towards drug use as well as possible users of drugs. Titles opening contraction ‘IT’S’, an atmosphere of conversation is established. This, passed with the smokescreen pun, offers an absolution that aligns with his contention on drug decriminalisation. The title collectively engages the reader and invites them to consult his text with its central and symbolic marijuana leaf.

Bolt’s piece mocks the “eminent Australians” by sarcastically aligning them with recreational drug use. He maintains this voice of bemusement through the repeated ‘experts’, thereby decreeing the Australia21 group. The reader’s trust in this ‘think tank’ is challenged and further by connotative ‘absurdly’, ‘simplistic’ and 'backpedaling.’ The effect is fundamentally cemented as the reader is presented with a cyclical piece that opens with an attack and ends with similar concern with ‘dangerous’. This metalanguage driven by Bolt is thwarted with casual undertones included the contraction ‘you’d’ An atmosphere of inclusion is therefore establish and, when paired with the writer’s sharp wit, enhances his position on drug. When considering the iconic marijuana leaf central to the Editorial the readership aligns this masterful and sharp use of the English language with the razor edges of the leaf.

[kimmytaaa]

Hi
Does this sound like an speech?
Hello Ladies and gentleman,
It is an honour and pleasure to be here talking about banning gambling ads during sporting events.  Gambling ads has encouraged gambling and even worse, it educates the young to accept gambling as normal. During the first game of the AFL season, “Crown Bet”, who by the way are partners of the AFL, accounted for half the gambling ads during broadcast of the game. Of the 200 ads, 34 were gambling ads. This is an attempt to “normalise” gambling to make it appear as natural as watching a game.The gambling organisation sees this as an opportunity to groom a new generation of gamblers, ensuring the continued success of their business. The basic law of gambling is that most gamblers will lose, meaning that those who accepts bets will always come out on top.

Victoria Responsible Gambling Association Chief executive, Serge Sardo, said there was widespread corner about the relationship between sport and betting. The AFL also owns or controls many pokie outlets in Victoria. These are “cash cows” for the clubs and rely on the misery and despair of these who lose money, to finance the club. Some clubs are increasingly concerned at this development and believe that the AFL should cut all contacts with gambling. This is also concern about criminal elements hijacking the competition, luring players to not play at their best, so that the criminals can win large sums when they know the outcome of a game before it has even commenced. International cricket has been a target along with tennis. Both sports have suffered because of gambling.

In Europe it was suspected that as many as 380 soccer matches were suspected of being manipulated according to the European Law Enforcement Agencies. The matches involved 15 countries and over 400 players and officials. Over 50 were arrested and charged. Do we really want to see this happening here in Australia? Is it too late?? Evidence already suggests that criminal elements have already infiltrated Australian Sports. By accepting sponsorship from gambling organisations, the League must acknowledge their support. Thus there is potential for sponsors to pressure the League because of this financial arrangement. In the past, the League has acted swiftly and decisively against players who have gambled, which they are not permitted to do under their contract. They rightly received substantial fines and lengthy suspensions. Yet to many it was only a matter of time before such transgressions occurred.

They argue that it is hypocritical permit saturation advertising of gambling ads then slap extreme punishments when players decide to bet. Many find it difficult to resist a bet and yet they are encouraged by the AFL and the advertising campaign to do so. There are many who complain that if gambling sponsorship is made illegal, the game will suffer. However not too long ago, tobacco companies were major sponsors of Australian Sport. Many insisted that the sport would die if there were no tobacco sponsorship. Yet sport has thrived without their sponsorship and more importantly the number of smokers in the community has been reduced considerably and therefore fewer deaths. It is time for the AFL to wake up and remove this scourge from sport and protect our youth.

[TheLlama]

Hi
Does this sound like an speech?

I would probably say that it doesn't. My reasoning would be that, if you take away the introduction, the "hello, ladies and gentlemen", what you're really left with is just an essay that you're reading out.

If you're looking to transform it into a speech, I would suggest that you start by establishing a sense of context. Why are you giving this speech? Who are these ladies and gentlemen? Make it clear why this speech is relevant to this particular audience, whoever they are.

Besides that, you might want to consider some stylistic changes in shifting from a written essay to a spoken piece. Have you thought of using a little bit of signposting at the outset? Or perhaps think of rewriting it while considering some rhetorical devices. Vary your sentence length. Add in some punchy language. Even if it's to be submitted as a written piece, you want to show that you've considered how it sounds.

[josh92012]

I an doing a year 10 argument analysis tomorrow and i don't really understand english all to well. I was wondering how you can find out some embrace points within a certain text piece and embed them with you embrace paragraph? Also what is an embrace point within the text?

[vor0005]

Hi
I have a problem with language analysis, for language analysis I thought we write it similar to year 11 hence I am a bit confused . My teacher wrote this on the board analyzing Andrew Bolt's article 'it's a smokescreen', but I don't understand what he is trying to say. I showed it to my tutor (a current teacher as well) and he said this is full of bullshit and that my teacher should have made it more simply so that the whole class understands in which he guarantees that no one understands this. My tutor said that my teacher is only teaching 1 or 2 students in class, because this is only used for elite students (A+ students) not ordinary students like me. Tbh I am finding the vocabs a bit difficult. What do you guys think? All opinions are welcome

My teacher's analysis of Andrew Bolt's
The issue on decriminalising recreational drug use, motivated by social and international trends, has been recently debated in media circles. ✓ One piece Thus, Andrew Bolt’s pragmatic opinion piece "IT’S A SMOKESCREEN" (published in the Herald Sun, April 5th, 2012), contends (avoid dull and lifeless words like "contends" - they don't tell us anything about the tone of the piece) is vehement that if drugs are legalised, ‘more people are likely to use them.’ (I'd probably avoid quoting in the introduction; even decoratively) The editor (since when is he an editor? just refer to him as Bolt/the writer/he etc.) persuades (another dull and lifeless word. Avoid.) in an enthusiastic style that adopts foremost sarcasm, ridicule and patronising flavour. ✓ Bolt’s craft appeals to both individuals with insight towards current government policies and initiatives towards drug use as well as possible users of drugs. Titles opening contraction ‘IT’S’, an atmosphere of conversation is established. This, passed with the smokescreen pun, offers an absolution that aligns with his contention on drug decriminalisation. The title collectively engages the reader and invites them to consult his text with its central and symbolic marijuana leaf. ((Okay, you probs want to avoid analysing in the introduction of your analysis. All that an intro needs is: trigger event/problem, introduce article + sources, writer's qualified contention and introduce any visuals + their contentions very broadly. That's it...)

Bolt’s piece mocks the “eminent Australians” by sarcastically aligning them with recreational drug use. ✓ He maintains this voice of bemusement through the repeated ‘experts’, thereby decreeing the Australia21 group. The reader’s trust in this ‘think tank’ is challenged and further by connotative ‘absurdly’, ‘simplistic’ and 'backpedaling.’ The effect is fundamentally cemented as the reader is presented with a cyclical piece that opens with an attack and ends with similar concern with ‘dangerous’. This metalanguage driven by Bolt is thwarted with casual undertones included the contraction ‘you’d’ An atmosphere of inclusion is therefore establish and, when paired with the writer’s sharp wit, enhances his position on drug. When considering the iconic marijuana leaf central to the Editorial the readership aligns this masterful and sharp use of the English language with the razor edges of the leaf. (I'll leave one comment on this paragraph: Without even reading it (just by glancing over it), I have realised that your teacher has started two sentences in a row with the word 'The'. It's little things like this - not varying your sentence structure - which can lose you marks in an essay. It's blatantly obvious and very easy for the marker to spot.)

I'd have to agree 100% with your tutor here. Your teacher's analysis essay lacks any recognisable structure, and in turn, serves to confuse students.

For your intro, all you need is:
1) Generic/Broad sentence which contextualises the problem being discussed or its trigger event
2) Introduce writer, article name & type (is it an opinion piece, editorial, letter to the editor, speech etc.) & sources
3) What is the qualified contention?
4) Introduce images and their respective contentions

THAT IS IT.

Body paragraphs:
1) Topic sentence that exposes one of the writer's arguments/ideas
2) Highlight a Technique --> Quote it --> Discuss specific intended effect (relating back to the specific technique and the argument (1)
3) Repeat 2) as many times as is necessary until paragraph looks decent
4) Concluding sentence which highlights the overall effect of the techniques on the audiences (i.e. what actions/feelings/beliefs do they encourage?)

It only just hit me, but your teacher tends to use the passive voice rather than the active voice. Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!
This is a huge difference between high scoring pieces and mid-low range pieces. You won't see the passive voice in high scoring essays...

For example:
Metalanguage driven by Bolt (passive) --> Bolt's metalanguage (active)
An atmosphere of inclusion (passive) --> An inclusive atmosphere (active)

Additionally:
"readership aligns this masterful and sharp use of the English language" --> is he/she taking the piss? This is language analysis - not some sort of patronising commentary regarding the writer's ability to use English.