Hello!
I have a Mod B "Citizen Kane" essay that I will be writing in class soon. They have given me this practice question "In an extended response, explore how "Citizen Kane" is both innovative and insightful".
If you could mark this when you have time that would be great!
Thanks
Hey there!! Would love to help, essay is attached with comments throughout!!
Spoiler
Through a critical study of meaningful films, audiences are able to gain insight into prevalent issues of modern society because of composers’ use of cinematic devices and construction to synthesise meaning. Orson Welles’ 1941 film “Citizen Kane” explores the corruptive nature of power on the values of titular character Kane and his relationship with Susan Alexander, and the complexity of human identity, viewed from the eyes of Kane himself and of the outside world. Beautiful!! An excellent Thesis statement and amplification here, well done, good start. Welles’ ground-breaking use of innovative cinematic techniques force the audience to become active viewers and interpret the meaning of key themes of the films. Wording a little iffy in that last bit, 'interpret' doesn't really work there I don't think. Thus the film’s openness to interpretation has allowed responders to resonate with its content and gain a greater understanding of the film’s meaning and textual integrity. "Openness" sounds awkward. Besides that, a great Thesis! I'd also like to see you list your paragraph topics somewhere in some way, just to prime the reader.
Welles observes the innate desire of humanity to receive recognition, and its ramifications in causing individuals to sacrifice their moral compass and relationships, through the example of Kane. Cool! In the early stages of his life, Kane is portrayed as an idealist, as he describes himself as a “champion of the people’s rights” in his “Declaration of Principles”. Do we have a technique here? Yet the chiaroscuro lighting places Kane in the shadow and Leland as his moral foil, in the light, to foreshadow Kane’s later moral corruption. Be careful we aren't using techniques to simply accentuate a plot retell; how is this a comment by Welles on humanities ambition? His initial morality is juxtaposed against his later corruption when Leland returns the “Principles” after Kane fires him. Kane’s casual tone and simplistic costuming as he calls it an “antique” and rips it to pieces suggest a nonchalance towards moral virtue and serve to show the moral indifference arisen from the acquisition of power. This is better! Good conceptual explanation there. The ramifications of the attainment of power on Kane’s moral fortitude are furthered in the campaign rally scene, where the mis-en-scene and low-angle camera shot frame Kane in a position of power against a campaign poster to demonstrate his skewed moral beliefs. By simultaneously drawing comparisons with Nazi rallies and their amoral practices, Welles suggests Kane’s moral compromise and warns responders against the corruptive nature of power. A solid paragraph, but you are bordering on textual retell. Be sure that you are focusing on how Welles employs techniques to allow us to gain an insight into your concept, don't rely on the plot to do it for you. Techniques are key! Further, your conclusion doesn't match your introduction here, might be worth a look into exactly what you want your concept to be.
Welles further demonstrates the transformation of an individual’s character born from the attainment of power in the collapse of Kane’s relationship with Susan Alexander. When your concept is based on a plot element, you automatically become very plot focused. Try to distance the concept from the text as much as possible. It should be, "Here is a concept, and Welles uses techniques to show it. The concept is focus, not the text. At the beginning of the film, the intimacy of their relationship is revealed in repeated close-up shot-reverse-shots as both characters seek to avoid the “loneliness” which forms the basis of their friendship. Yet after their marriage, Kane’s desire for power over her causes him to force her to sing operas, despite her negative reception and vocal desire to stop. After her debut, she is framed in a high-angle shot as Kane’s shadow falls over her, reflecting his disregard for her opinions and suggesting power causes disintegration of relationships. While you are linking to concept and using technique, you are still relying on the plot to do your work. Welles further suggests the entrapment of Susan by Kane in her depiction against a backdrop of statues whilst solving jigsaw puzzles. The unity of physical and figurative structures in the statues, which represent his wealth, status and domineering presence, and jigsaw puzzles which symbolise places visible but unreachable, allow the audiences to respond to the text on multiple levels. Beautiful! See how this sentence doesn't rely on the story itself, only on representational choices. I'd still like something more specific with regard to the audience impact though. As metonymic of humanity, by examining Kane, Welles invites audience’s to observe the threat of the corruptive nature of power on an individual’s wellbeing.
“Citizen Kane” examines the notion of identity through an examination of an individual’s view of their own sense-of-self, and the difficulty in gaining an accurate understanding of an individual because of differing views on individual’s actions. This is better, it stands alone and doesn't rely on something in the text! The earliest recollection of Kane’s life, told through Thatcher’s memoirs, is in the signing away scene, where he is given over to Thatcher’s control. Kane is framed in the background through a window, yet the use of deep-focus cinematography allows the audience to observe his actions and recognise his helplessness. Kane’s familial relationships and childhood innocence, removed by Thatcher, are the chief reasons for his obsession with the snow-globe. The figurative effect of its glass represents the symbolic purity of Kane’s childhood, but also demonstrates his inability to access this part of himself, contributing to his fragmented identity. This sentence is the first one to really show what the text is "demonstrating to us." The stuff before was retell. Be careful! The mis-en-abyme in the last shot of Kane in the film further reveals his conflicted character. As he walks past the mirrors, which reflect upon each other, the many “Kanes” reveal the difficulty in distinguishing the truth about oneself, which has contributed to his fragmented sense-of-self. Welles’ reflection of the complexity of identity, and the synthesis of stylistic and thematic concerns allow responders to reflect on Kane’s character as a broader symbol of their own. I really like your conclusions, very succinct yet very effective!
Welles also explores the difficulty for others to truly understand an individual due to conflicting perspectives on their identity. Welles utilises the journalist Thompson as a cipher for the audience as he investigates the meaning of “Rosebud”, yet after his entire search he yields “I didn’t find out much”. His shadowed figure combined with a zoom-out demonstrates the hiddenness of objective truth to responders. Better! The interviews of Thompson are revealed in non-linear flashbacks, which create a fragmented narrative structure and offer conflicting recollections of who Kane was, denying the audience of an objective truth of Kane’s identity. Okay, this paragraph is immediately more effective, you are doing much more analytically! The disparity between perspectives on Kane’s identity is further revealed in the “News on the March” newsreel, where Kane is labelled both a Communist and Fascist in short succession. The incongruent and conflicting characterisation of Kane again serves to demonstrate the difficulty in searching for objective truth. Through an examination of the dichotomy between Kane’s view and others’ conflicting perspectives on his identity, responders are challenged to be more understanding of those around them.
Perhaps one of the most important factors of “Citizen Kane” in allowing responders to be engaged and enlightened by the film is its openness to interpretation. Cinematographer Greg Toland’s extensive use of long takes allow the audience to become “active viewers” and allows for greater complexity of characterisation. Use of "long?" Welles not only uses cinematic techniques, but symbolic devices to allow for the synthesis of construct and meaning to create unity. “Rosebud” serves as the chief driver of the film’s action, yet offers no concrete ‘revelation’ at the end of the film. Thus modern audiences are able to bring their personal context into their understanding of the importance of Rosebud, and reconcile it to the broader meaning of the film. This means that each reading of the film is distinct and has personal meaning for every responder, which can be taken from the cinema and applied to their lives.
Thus by examining “Citizen Kane”, insights into the corruptive nature of power and its consequences for individuals’ moral compasses and relationships, and the complexity of an individual’s identity and the difficulty in understanding humanity are attained. Welles’ use of innovative cinematic techniques allows responders to subjectively interpret textual meaning and reconcile stylistic and thematic concerns of the film and ultimately gain an appreciation of the film’s textual integrity. Solid punchy conclusion, good work!
I'll start by saying that I really love your Thesis paragraph, and indeed your conceptual drive in general. Very clever approach, and very cleverly incorporates the question into your own conceptual focus, excellent work there. Further, your techniques are fantastic, nicely varied with lots of textual references, and you have a nice structure on the whole!
There are a few small things you can read above, but I like to give one big thing to work on per essay, and for you, this will be
avoiding textual retell.There are significant sections of your response where you, albeit in a very sophisticated way, essentially retell parts of the film to the audience. You then try and use this to show links to your concept, occasionally with a technique. Occasionally this works decently, the rest of the time it falls short of the mark. You need to shift your focus a little bit.
What you need to be addressing is how
Welles has used
technique to convey meaning in regard to the concept (EG - corruptive nature of power). This is not the same as showing how the theme is evident in the text, which is where you are currently at. Compare these two sentences. The first is a sentence I quite liked in your response (I picked this because it shows how subtle the difference can be):
Kane’s casual tone and simplistic costuming as he calls it an “antique” and rips it to pieces suggest a nonchalance towards moral virtue and serve to show the moral indifference arisen from the acquisition of power.This is great! Technique, quote, and a conceptual explanation as well as an audience link. Excellent! However, it comes from a very plot focused place, and so instead of showing how Welles has SHOWN us something in the text, you end up showing how the theme is EVIDENT in the text. Compare with another way of writing that sentence (I can't link to the quote because it relies on an earlier sentence, but you get the idea):
Welles' use of casual tone and simplistic costuming suggest a nonchalance towards moral virtue by the character of Kane, thus symbolising the moral indifference which arises due to the acquisition of power.This difference is slight, but abstracting the response to show Welles' choices raises the sophistication. It will keep you from retelling the plot too, doing it while focusing on Welles instead of the character of Kane is impossible. Essentially, for this sentence it doesn't do TOO much, but for some of your other sentences the difference would be immense!
So this would be my main suggestion, focus on analysis and try and avoid textual retell! You have a great response here, but I reckon a little polish would make it even better. Great work birdwing, awesome job!!
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Topic: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only) (Read 702839 times)