According to the 17th century playwright Edward Bulwer-Lytton’s metonymic adage, ‘The pen is mightier than the sword’. This assertion reverberates throughout history as various composers exemplify this notion, using their literary prowess to represent political motivations and the subsequent affects these motivations have on people and society. These political perspectives portrayed and criticised by the composer are often at odds with their moral, ethical and logical values, as typified in W.H. Auden’s poems, The Shield Of Achilles and O what is that sound along with Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5, which all (Create Thesis)
Using the adage is a really unique way to start your essay. I think it works really well. Being completely honest, I was skeptical. Often people start with quotes and they don't make it purposeful. But you've linked this very adequately. I can't wait to see what you do with a thesis! This is a potential idea, it doesn't necessarily have to be followed through. But you don't deal explicitly with "sword" in the adage. This definitely isn't a problem, but you could consider tying that in as well. Like, talking about how the authors wrote in times of physical turbulence, but opted for the pen over the sword. Just an idea 
W.H. Auden’s poem derived from Homer’s The Iliad, The Shield of Achilles delves into Auden’s animosity towards totalitarian regimes and the way in which they relegate the individual through the juxtaposition of The Iliad’s myth against Auden’s modernity, thus (Integrate Thesis).
Everything in this last sentence is great - except that when you integrate the thesis, it will become a very very long sentence. So be prepared to split it in an exam This pejorative representation of contextual regimes is inscribed on Achilles’ shield, picturing, ‘A million eyes, a million boots in line, Without expression, waiting for a sign’. Auden’s synecdochic dehumanisation of the people and soldiers construes them as a means to an end, stripping all individuality, further reinforced by their expressionless obsequiousness, their inability for independent thought, reminiscent of contextual regimes under Hitler, Mussolini and Stalin.
Your sentences are proving jam packed! You've got great stuff here, but it is super long. Consider splitting the sentences to make them more digestible. This concept of the loss of individuality under totalitarian regimes is made further poignant through the juxtaposition Auden’s modern reality against the Iliad’s more vibrant and classical imagery, ‘Hephaestus, hobbled away … Iron-hearted man-slaying Achilles, who would not live long’. Debasing the Iliad’s myth of Hephaestus creating Achilles’ intricate shield, Auden depicts Hephaestus hobbling away in anguish after foretelling Achilles’ death. Hephaestus serves as a literary manifestation of Auden, creating a reality where Achilles ‘would not live long’, compounding the inevitability and hopelessness of death under totalitarian regimes, which Auden was entirely averse towards, thus (Integrate Thesis). I think you need a bit more reference to the people and politics connection. You reference both, but don't connect the two. This very well could be because your thesis isn't integrated yet, and your thesis is likely to make a comment on the relationship between people and politics.
Auden’s critique of political perspectives and people that are antithetical to his own continue throughout his poetry, extending into his debasement upon the ballad form, O what is that sound, which (Integrate Thesis). Establishing the poem to address overarching political regimes through the sibilant use of ‘scarlet soldiers’ to represent the force of a monarchy, Auden compounds this assertion when he says, ‘No, I promised to love you, dear, But now I must be leaving’. Putting a modernist spin on the work, Auden undermines the archetypical foundation of ballad, a foundation built on glory and a climax where a hero overcomes a seemingly unstoppable force. However Auden’s adaptation serves to reflect reality, where the hero must flee to escape the ‘scarlet soldiers’ and leave their spouse to see that ‘Their feet are heavy on the floor and their eyes are burning’.
This is a good spot to make a people and politics reference - the hero and the soldiers.Previously establishing that the remaining person is ‘kneeling’, Auden’s synecdochic symbolism when characterising their ‘eyes’ and ‘feet’ suggests that there is nothing a common person can do to resist the ‘scarlet soldiers’. Extrapolating from these hints bestrewn throughout the poem, Auden depicts the inability of commoners to live in peace, to prosper and to survive under regimes similar to those with ‘scarlet soldiers’, overarching, monarchic regimes, thus (Integrate Thesis).
Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5 depicts the exploits of Billy Pilgrim throughout WWII as a medium for criticising the current politics of the Vietnamese war and the people spearheading it, (Integrate Thesis). This notion is first presented when Mary makes an ironic dichotomy, saying ‘You were just babies in the war … You’ll pretend you were men instead of babies … war will look just wonderful’. Characterising the fighting men as ‘babies’, Vonnegut instigates his critique upon the misguided machismo attitudes presented throughout literature and perpetuated by President Johnson’s hyper-masculine rhetoric that persuaded ‘men’ to serve in Vietnam.
Good reference! Really strong!This man vs. baby binary created by Vonnegut to question the glory of war is reified when Vonnegut ironically characterises the fighting men as ‘Foolish virgins …right at the end of childhood’. Vonnegut’s metaphor foregrounds the ignorance and innocence of young men that are coerced to participate in war as they are only ‘foolish virgins’. Thus, Vonnegut’s composition aims to subvert the current glorification of war in literature and disrupt the cultural mythology, which, along with the contextual president Johnson, perpetuates and worships war as a medium for turning boys into men, when in fact it simply deprives men of their compassion, reason and personhood, thus (Integrate Thesis).
When you talk about literature, I recall the adage at the beginning of the poem. Is it possible for you to bring forward,and reference the adage throughout the poem? Just another thought! Your work is really wonderful, so I'm looking for ways to really extend it further, but it comes don to your personal understanding and style!Vonnegut’s critique of political motivations in the Vietnamese war pervades the novel, however
however doesn't seem like the right connector. they develop from criticising the masculine nature of war. As Vonnegut experienced the war, he experienced first hand the havoc it creates on the human psyche, its ability to emotionally and psychologically cripple combatants, thus (Integrate Thesis). This concept is elucidated upon during Billy’s stream of consciousness, ‘Now, when I myself hear that somebody is dead, I simply shrug and say … so it goes’. Explicitly depicting the
lose loss of emotional stability, Vonnegut’s creation of Billy serves as a literary manifestation of the innumerable combatants within war who have lost their emotional capacity, attacking the political powers at play that have sent these men to war. The use of ‘so it goes’ within the quote serves as an epigrammatical phrase that de-emphasises the death bestrewn throughout the novel, acting as a metaphorical and symbolic scar from war, a scar that removes any emotional connection to death, ‘His wife died … so it goes’. After witnessing his wife die, Billy remains indifferent entirely after acknowledging his nihilistic viewpoint, that that’s how it goes. It is from his war experiences that this callous nihilism fosters, war which Vonnegut detests and attempts to dissuade thousands of men from joining in despite the contextual political whims in 1960’s America, (Integrate Thesis).
Great analysis! As usual!Both W.H. Auden’s Shield of Achilles and O what is that sound along with Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5 serve as poignant reminders of their composers’ realities, insulated and concealed in the guise of literature. It is through these works that the composers’ respective political motivations emerge, along with the impacts that they have on society, which ultimately portray (Integrate Thesis) through a variety of textual forms and features.
This needs to be longer. I suggest dealing with each of the two texts in a separate sentence 
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Topic: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only) (Read 702392 times)