Evaluate the effectiveness of Eliot’s exploration of the relationship between individuals and their world within his poetry. In your response discuss ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” and TWO other poems set for study.Throughout his poetry, TS Eliot has made many comments and criticisms upon the dynamic relationship between the individual and their wider context, effectively explaining to his readership what he perceives to be the individual’s role within his contemporary society.
Try to NOT include your text in the Thesis; the Thesis should be a big, general idea and your text becomes an example of that. The text comes in later, usually in a sentence of the form: "This is shown in TS Elliot's poetry, which..." You say that the Thesis is demonstrated by your text, not formed by it. Greatly influenced by the modernist movement, TS Eliot presents to the reader a bleak outlook upon the state of modern society, and the oppressive hold it has upon an individual’s existence through the adoption of the key themes within his poetry – modernity, isolation and meaning.
Good. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock demonstrates the pervasiveness of these ideas within Eliot’s poetry, with the ideas further established through the related poems Journey of the Magi and Rhapsody of a Windy Night.
I feel you need a more conclusive finish here, like "Thus, the audience learns _______," which will also make your link to the question a little stronger. Eliot effectively explores the impact of modernity upon his contemporary society, and its relation to the lives of individuals, evident within his poems The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Rhapsody of a Windy Night.
Good concept, but just like your Thesis, try to introduce the concept first and then introduce the text. Like many poets of the 20th Century, Eliot was greatly influenced by Modernism, a socio-philosophical movement which sought the replacement of Romantic optimism for pessimistic cynicism as a reaction to the Industrial Revolution and the horrors of the First World War. It was an effort to portray the truth about humanity during a time where humanity, according to modernists, appeared to be at its lowest point, and this is evident within Eliot’s poetry.
Great contextual explanation, but I'd love to see it integrated throughout examples from the text to show HOW the context is evident.The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock presents to the reader a modern urban landscape (the typical setting for many of his poems) of “half-deserted streets” and “cheap hotels,” which serves to introduce Eliot’s perception of the modern world as a mundane ‘wasteland’ that carries through the rest of the poem.
Technique there? Thus, the character of Prufrock acts as a vehicle in which Eliot can represent this further, through a melancholy stream of consciousness that demonstrates his discontent with modern society. This is evident through lines such as “streets that follow like a tedious argument,” which emphasizes the infinitely repetitive and mundane nature of his world, which enables his restlessness to find any meaning or purpose within his life, leading him to his isolation and detachment.
Technique here? Also, try to take these ideas BEYOND the text, what do WE the audience learn about the impact of modernity on society? The use of enjambment further conveys the labyrinthine, never-ending spatiality of the city and evolves Prufrock’s ‘stream of consciousness’, techniques evident within many of Eliot’s other poems that convey a similar critique of modernity. Within Rhapsody of a Windy Night, Eliot presents a similarly bleak outlook upon what he perceives to be a decaying society. Within the poem, Eliot describes society through the metaphor “a broken spring in a factory yard, /Rust that clings to the form that the strength has left.” The spring symbolizes Eliot’s world, with the rust of modernity promoting the decay of a strong and true society.
Great ideas, again, more of an audience link would benefit you here. Therefore, it is evident that through The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Rhapsody on a Windy Night Eliot effectively explores the impact of modernity upon the relationship between the individual and society, through presenting it as a mundane and oppressive force. This leads many readers to, gain insight into Prufrock and other key characters within Eliot’s poem and to recognize their isolation and detachment.
Solid paragraph! Some more audience links and ensuring techniques are used frequently would benefit you 
Eliot effectively explores the impact of isolation upon the relationship between an individual and their world through his poems The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Rhapsody of a Windy Night. Within almost all of his poems, Eliot presents to the reader an isolated individual, detached from his world.
Retell. Prufrock’s inability to make decisions in fear of societal judgement – particularly from “the women [who] come and go” – leads to an inability to make connection.
Retell. His intense fear of human connection stems from the fear of his own vulnerability, the paradoxical element to Prufrock, as he strives for isolation as a means of security, but thus leads him to despair.
Retell, although this is better than the previous sentences. His isolation is apparent through Eliot’s effective use of imagery within the poem, whereby he creates an atmosphere of loneliness and division between Prufrock and his world.
There we go, that was analysis there, Elliot used a technique to demonstrate something, but what is the impact on the audience? Prufrock describes himself as “a pair of ragged claws / Scuttling across the floors of silent seas,” watching “lonely me in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows.” This lonely image presents Prufrock as an even more isolated individual than the men he observes, for all he can do is quietly watch them as they continue to live their mundane lives.
Your paragraphs need stronger conclusions to re-enforce the concept, and importantly, to re-connect to the question.Loneliness and isolation are also a key theme within Rhapsody of a Windy Night, whereby Eliot presents the isolation and loneliness of humanity within the modern world. Within Rhapsody of a Windy Night, the narrator, who Eliot also presents through a stream of consciousness, wonders the desolate streets alone at night, with only his thoughts and memories to keep him company.
Retell. The isolated atmosphere is presented through the use of time as a running motif throughout the poem.
What is the significance of this? What do we learn? Almost every stanza begins with Eliot stating a time in the early hours of the morning, the first being “twelve o’clock,” the cusp between one day and the next.
Retell. The use of time effectively conveys the narrator’s isolation, as these times fall during periods when almost everyone is asleep and therefore the narrator is left alone.
First half of that sentence was all that was required, everything after the comma was retell. Along with this, the reanimation of inanimate objects, such as the the street lamp who “sputtered” and “muttered,” representing humanity’s breakdown in communication, whereby ironically the inanimate objects are the most alive figures within the poem.
What does THIS show the audience? Use the proper technique too, personification. Therefore, it is evident that through The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and Rhapsody of a Windy Night, Eliot effectively discusses the impact of isolation upon the relationship between an individual and their world, through presenting it as a barrier inhibiting true connection.
Good conclusion here, you still need it in the prior paragraph though (unless it was supposed to be one huge one). Eliot effectively explores the impact of meaning and purpose within an individuals’ relationship with their world through his poems The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and The Journey of the Magi, particularly in regards to the spiritual journey of their narrators. The struggle to find meaning within a meaningless world is a common element within many of Eliot’s poems, particularly within The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, which features the search for meaning of a profoundly fallible human being. “Do I dare / Disturb the universe? “Throughout the poem, Prufrock ponders upon great philosophical questions pertaining to his role within his world and the wider universe, demonstrating Prufrock’s desperation to find a greater purpose for his existence.
This would have been PERFECT if you instead said that "Elliot" was the one pondering, because he is, THROUGH the character of Prufrock. It is evident within the poem through Eliot’s inclusion of many other rhetorical questions such as “So how should I presume,” “And how should I begin?” and “Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?” that Prufrock over-analyses the mundane situations of his life, causing him great anxiety as his inability to make decisions leads to his feelings of worthlessness and meaninglessness.
I am going to use that as an example below. Prufrock feels as if he lacks a purpose, however is too afraid to change this.
Retell. Therefore, through The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, Eliot effectively explores the role of purpose within individuals lives, and how it affects their relationship with their wider context. However, Eliot does not present purpose and meaning as something unattainable, as evident through many of the religious elements of his poetry, which in the predominant theme of The Journey of the Magi.
A critical moment within Eliot’s life was his conversion to Christianity, which informed many of his ideas and frequently featured within many of his poems.
Good contextual link, but it is perhaps not the best choice for the start of a paragraph. The Journey of the Magi is a reflective text upon religion, and features many biblical allusions, particularly in regards to the birth of Christ. “For a journey, and such a long journey.” Despite the “long journey,” Eliot provides his readers with a finality for the search for meaning, which he perceives to be his religious epiphany and conversion to Christianity.
Fantastic! This is evident within the final stanza, where the narrator comments upon “alien people clutching their gods,” demonstrating that after his conversion he is no longer “clutching” for a sense of purpose like those around him, but instead has found his true meaning in God. Therefore, it is evident that through The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock and The Journey of the Magi Eliot effectively explores the role and importance of meaning within the lives of individuals, in that it provides a sense of purpose and control against the mundanity and pressures of modern society.
Therefore, through his poems, particularly The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, and the related The Journey of the Magi and Rhapsody of a Windy Night, Eliot presents his key themes of modernity, isolation and meaning in order to comment and critique upon the current state of modern society and the psyche of humanity. Through this, he effectively communicates his ideas and values upon the relationship between the individual and society, and thus enables his reader with a new perspective upon our role in this world.
A little more is needed in this conclusion; try adding some more depth about the themes being explored and WHY Elliot's exploration was an effective one (focus of the question, so this judgement should be more prominent). 
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Topic: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only) (Read 692021 times)