Despite the obscurity behind a government’s ulterior motives, it is clear beyond a reasonable doubt, that control through infiltrating society, is the ultimate goal.
Nice conceptual start! Nice and broad to apply to more questions, good stuff. However, control over the population may become any governments or individual’s final goal, whether the political agenda is vague or completely clear.
Not sure what this adds to your first sentence? Thus, this manipulation over the masses at an individual’s and society’s expense is reflected in W.H Auden’s “O what is that sound which so thrills the ear” and “Spain,” highlighting the negative fascist and capitalist government influences over European civilisation during WW2. Conversely, Stanley Krammer’s 1960s civil rights era film, Guess who’s coming to Dinner, signifies how individuals who have ambiguous political motivations, harbour the ability to have great influence over the stability and longevity over other people’s relationships.
I'm looking for a conclusive sentence here that ties everything together, something like, "Comparing these texts allows a better understanding of ______."Regardless of an individual’s ignorance towards the motivations behind ambiguous political climates, hegemonic ideologies, nevertheless, aim to dominate and assimilate individuals to the prevailing political dogma.
Awesome conceptual introduction. This is illustrated in Auden’s ballad “O what is that sound which so thrills the ear,” which demonstrates that despite the wife’s ignorance towards the actions of the “scarlet soldiers,” it is explicit that their goal, ultimately, is to control the civilians. The historical ambiguity behind the alliterative “scarlet soldiers,” alludes to the British colonial soldiers, who invaded and took control over various continents.
Nice contextual link.
As a result, Auden utilises this historical allusion to foreshadow to the reader, despite the ambiguity of motivations of the impeding soldiers, their objective will result in the capture of the civilians.
This is showing what we learn about the text; but what do we learn about the ideas you mentioned in your introduction generally? This is confirmed in the truncated sentence “And now they are running,” highlighting the foreboding fear of the domineering soldiers, the residents experience.
Again, very text focused here. This fear and uncertainty of the civilians at the actions of these soldiers, is further accentuated by the utilisation of rhyming couplets in, “O its the gate where they’re turning, turning… And their eyes are burning,” exemplifying to the audience the impending nature of the omnipresent soldiers and as a result, the suppression of these individuals under their regime.
What does this show the audience about oppression in general? We don't care about the characters specifically; what do we learn about the themes! Similarly, mirroring the “scarlet soldiers,” unity and ambiguity is “Spain,” which illustrates that despite the numerous identities and motivations of people joining either the Republican or Nationalist Armies, their final objective is to ultimately take over Spain.
Smooth transition to the other text; the semi-integrated approach is working well for you. The metaphor of the super powers in the late 1930s as “the shark…the tiger…the robin.. Intervene,” signifies the varying, “nations combining each cry,” to involve themselves in the Spanish Civil war. Thus, the personification of the nations giving a cry, illustrates how various countries each with their own ambiguous motivation, joined either the Republican or Nationalist parties to assist either group in ascertaining power and control over Spain.
Thus demonstrating ______ about political motivations. Likewise, Krammer’s Guess who’s coming to Dinner, highlights how the ambiguous emotions of Matt Drayton, ultimately controls the outcome of John Prentice (a black man) and his daughter, Joey’s (a white woman) relationship. Drayton’s initial shock and ire expressed in his stunned body language, at the news of the interracial couple’s engagement is later juxtaposed with his willingness to accept the couple when he symbolically tastes and enjoys a new ice-cream flavour that he had been previously against.
Retell. His approval of the new ice cream flavour, is symbolic of his changing perspective towards the relationship between Prentice and Joey going from resentful to accepting.
Retell. However, Drayton returns to his former prejudiced perspective, after an unfortunate encounter with a black man, thus refuelling his prejudiced attitudes.
Retell. Despite Drayton’s conflicting emotions his final goal is to control the relationship Joey is in, ultimately “wanting the best for my daughter.”
Retell - Could a casual observer who knows the plot of your text give you this info? If so, then you can remove it! Thus, Drayton’s conflicting and ambiguous emotions towards the impending marriage ultimately becomes a deciding factor in whether or not Joey and Prentice get married. Conclusively, despite the ambiguity behind and individuals or governments actions, control ultimately is the goal.
You have excellent textual knowledge and great techniques; but you need to do more with it. Right now you are telling me what the techniques show us about the text, you need to show us what they reveal about the themes in general!However, distinctive political motivations may also ultimately result in control.
I'd like more detail here to properly distinguish this from the last paragraph; since they both consider control you need to make the differences clear (I know they are there). Despite the numerous nations supporting Republican or Nationalist groups, collectively having ambiguous political motivations; individually each nation harboured clear political agenda’s which could not be fulfilled until their respective party took control.
Retell. Auden’s Spain highlights this concept, in which government propaganda evoked fear within individuals causing them “to respond to the medicine ad.” This is symbolic of the pre WW2 governments creating motivations within people (in this case fear), to galvanise civilians into joining the Spanish civil war.
Nice contextual consideration! Hence, by using specific motivations such as fear, authority figures are able to control the actions of individuals, establishing control as their definitive goal.
THIS is framed as more generally/universally relevant, good! But what techniques communicate this? Moreover, individuals as a consequence of this indoctrination become mindless replicas, fulfilling the governments desires, as “our faces, the institute face… are projecting their greed as the firing squad and the bomb.” Thus, despite individuals who are motivated to join the war as result of fear and to protect their values, the ultimate outcome, is the transformation of these motivations into the government’s own aspirations.
These are really good concepts; show me how they are brought out with techniques! The symbolism of the “institute face” acts as a metaphor for the power exerted by authorities over individuals, ultimately causing civilians to lose sense of morality as they become enveloped in mindless violence to achieve the government’s own distinctive goal, utilising “the firing squad and the bomb,” to control the people.
Good, you are still ever so slightly too text focused, but this is a definite improvement over your first paragraph! Similarly, despite appearing to have ambiguous political goals in the civilian’s perspective, the soldiers in “O what is that sound which so thrills the ear” uniformly and succinctly strive to work together to achieve their independent goal of domination and assimilation over the civilians. The homogeneous political motivations of the soldiers is made apparent in “Why are they suddenly wheeling wheeling/Perhaps a change in their orders, dear.”
Retell. Thus, the third person language in “they” and “their,” illustrate the soldier’s collectiveness and their identical motivation to fight for the same cause .
Retell, notice how you are just telling me what I learn about the characters? Their ultimate goal of control is demonstrated in the soldiers final actions in the rhyming couplets “O its’s broken the lock and splintered the door… Their boots are heavy on the floor,” thus signifying that the homogenous desire of the soldiers, is to ultimately achieve their goal of control over the civilians. The symbolism of the “broken…lock” and “splintered door” is demonstrative of the invasion of the soldiers into the private lives of the couple and hence, their ultimate subordination to the soldiers ideology.
You've got SO many techniques, like I'm seriously impressed to that regard. Massive props. Likewise, Joeys distinct political motivation of wanting marriage between her and Prentice, stems from her desire to ultimately have control over her relationship, rather than her parents dictating who she should and should not marry.
Retell. Joey does not understand her parents unexpected prejudice attitude as she believes them be “lifelong fighting liberals who loathe racial prejudice.” Moreover, when she encounters further disapproval for her interracial relationship, from Tillie her black maid, she adamantly condemns her, telling her “I’d thought you’d be the last person to have such a silly attitude.” Additionally, when confronted by her parents about her engagement, Joey sees “no problem,” further demonstrating to her parents of her desire and goal to be with Prentice, despite their attitudes as she sees nothing wrong with with Prentice.
Retell - You are just restating plot details. These will not earn you any marks! When confronted with the fear that her father will not accept her relationship, Joey’s motivation to marry Prentice, ultimately results in taking control of her relationship as she in a decisive tone tells him “We’ll run away and elope,” rather than be separated from him.
Retell, you are just giving me the story and none of your own ideas! Therefore, control is the ultimate goal of those individuals and governments who harbour clear political motivations.
Ultimately, control is the ultimate goal of individuals in the authoritative positions. Motivations of these authorities may either be distinct or ambiguous, but ultimately domination over relationships in Guess who’s coming to Dinner, civilians in “O what is that sound which so thrills the ear” or society in “Spain,” becomes their final objective.
A slightly too short conclusion, try adding some further detail. Restate what you've discussed int he paragraphs and formulate a more definitive conclusion. Thus, the audience learns ... 
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Topic: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only) (Read 688266 times)