Hey everyone! I hope half yearly exams are going well
I’d like to begin this week’s post with a reminder: In an AOS essay, you are writing about an Area of Study, not a text. To some this may seem obvious and to others this statement might appear widely incorrect, but let me explain. I’ve seen many, many people make the mistake of forgetting to establish a thesis about Discovery, and in the case of people who took the HSC in my year, Belonging. It’s easy enough to do when the clock is ticking and you’ve memorised ten quotes that you’re determined to cram into your paper, however, everything you include in an AOS essay MUST contribute to the thematic ideas about your Area of Study that you have established in your introduction and in the topic sentence of the relevant paragraph that you happen to be writing. Your marker will think it’s fabulous that you’ve remember five different techniques from that really long Shakespearean speech, but unless you immediately tell them why they should care and pepper your analysis with relevant references to certain types of Discovery…they can’t give you full marks. Remember: You are studying a text to mine it for evidence that supports ideas about Discovery, NOT the other way around.
In your introduction, you need to establish the argument that you will be making. This premise will be sustained through out the essay, so make sure you chose at least two or three aspects of discovery that allow you to develop a sophisticated textual exploration. If a question asks you to make a judgement, it can be helpful to do so in the first line. E.g. For Belonging, I might begin my introduction by stating:
To a large extent, belonging in an innate feeling which stems from making choices that allow an individual to either reconcile a dichotomy of personal morality and a dominant culture, or attain an enlightened understanding of connection to self through introspection. From here, I would introduce my texts and their authors before explaining why (and sometimes briefly how) the composers of the novel, film or poem I was studying examined this concept in their work.
Before I show you examples of how I structured my paragraphs, I would like to point out that I tended to separate most my analysis of texts into separate paragraphs. I would usually include at least one or two integrated paragraphs, however, but I know some people prefer to use either one structure or the other. As a general rule, a combination of both methods is often appropriate, however, as a teacher once told me, “when in doubt, it’s better to integrate.”
In the topic sentence of your first paragraph, you need to establish a conceptual point about Discovery (in my case, Belonging) that will be explored in the following lines. From here, you need to include your evidence, technique, analysis and link (in other words, PETAL). Although this sounds formulaic, your paragraph doesn’t have to be wooden. By integrating quotes into your analysis and paying careful attention to pointing out exactly WHY composers use specific techniques to elicit responses from the viewer/reader, you will significantly improve the quality of what you are writing. Here are some examples from my Belonging essay that received full marks:
Individuals who value autonomous thought and rationality will choose to risk personal authority or belonging to abide by their own code of morality and vision of decent conduct. Set in the 1950s during a period of history when exposure of communists and “red sympathisers” had become a dominant fixation of the American psyche, in Good Night and Good Luck, protagonist Edward R Murrow, a prominent journalist, asserts that he and his fellow Americans will not be “driven by fear into an age of unreason” thus alluding to amounting climate of hysteria. Preferring to avoid connotation with ‘emotion’, director George Clooney’s use of the word ‘unreason’ appeals to rationality and thus communicates a more powerful political statement. Nevertheless, extreme close up shots of Murrow in calm contemplation and extended periods of silence are symbolic his determination in the face of potential isolation within an authoritarian society. Unshakably ethical, Murrow’s allusion to the words of an iconic ancient Roman figure when he states “Cassius was right, the fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves” embodies his understanding that responsibility to prevent hysteria and uphold principles of democracy resides with every individual. Hence Murrow sacrifices belonging to an amoral majority in order to uphold the principles of autonomy and freedom of thought supposedly integral to American identity. In my final sentence, I’ve linked the analysis that I've written to the aspect of Belonging established in the topic sentence. For the next paragraph, I’ve drawn a comparison to ensure that my essay has continuity, but I’ve also extended the previous idea explored:
In a similar way, when personal morality is not aligned with powerful members of a group who represent the collective authority, individuals may retain personal integrity by choosing to reject a dominant ideology or culture and willingly sacrificing a sense of communal belonging. Introduced as a man “not easily led” with a “sharp and biting way with hypocrites” the character of John Proctor is shown to value autonomy and independence of thought. Through authorial intrusion Miller conveys that “in Proctor’s presence a fool felt his foolishness instantly”, hence establishing a source of grievances against Proctor and foreshadowing his fate when he writes that such a man was “marked…for calumny”. Proctor’s consciousness of existent injustice is evident when he uses personification to describe “vengeance” as “walking in Salem”; yet the low value he places upon himself as a consequence of committing adultery with Abigail Williams is an impedes his ability to take to take action and regain his sense of personal belonging. A “sinner, not only against the moral fashion of the time, but against his own vision of decent conduct” with a “magistrate” inside his heart, the strength of Proctor’s low self-worth is reinforced by biblical allusion and the motif of judgement. Nevertheless, despite initial reluctance, when his wife Elizabeth is made of a victim of a “whore’s vengeance”, Proctor casts aside his good name in an attempt to illuminate ‘the truth’. Confronted by hostile accusations and the possibility of execution, Proctor is tempted to submit to external pressure that is place upon him to “lie and sign (himself) to lies” in order to save his life and attain a false sense of communal belonging. Ultimately, he chooses not to implicate his loyal friends and thus recognises that “shred of goodness” resides within him. In doing so, Proctor dies a martyr to misguided religious conviction having actively chosen to reject the fallacy of Salem’s court.Furthermore, here is an integrated paragraph:
Individuals who represent the collective authority may discard integrity in favour of personal prejudice or agenda. In a display of preoccupation with dominant ideology, the character of Deputy-Governor Danforth in Miller’s The Crucible states “a person is either with this court or he must be counted against it”, thus reinforcing an “us” and “them” mentality responsible for fuelling suspicion and mob mentality during 17th century Salem Witch trials. Asserting that “we burn a hot fire here; it melts down all concealment” Danforth alludes imagery of hell to discourage intimidate ‘dissenters’. Similarly, the film Good Night and Good Luck director George Clooney employs accurate archival footage of Junior Senator McCarthy a man famous for his persecution of communist members and sympathisers during the 1950s as head of the Un-American Activities Committee. In doing so, the character of McCarthy is provided with an opportunity to ‘speak for himself’ and thus discredit his own integrity. Asserting that ideological challenger Edward Murrow is a “leader of a jackal pack” McCarthy’s forceful dehumanisation of his critics is symbolic of extreme moral sacrifice authority figures are often willing to make in order to maintain power.Your conclusion should return to the ideas mentioned in your introduction and extrapolated through out your essay. Articulate exactly how you have answered the question that has been given to you, and try to do so in a reflective manner if you can! There’s only one cardinal rule: don’t introduce any new ideas.
That’s all from me for now
feel free to ask questions below, and good luck!
- Caitlin
Other Guides:How to Write a Module C EssayHow to Write a Module B EssayWriting an English Advanced Module A EssayCreative Writing - Advice from a Cambridge Uni StudentHow to Write an English Extension Ways of Thinking Essay
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Topic: How to Write an Area of Study Essay (Read 94811 times)